Off-Planet transmission 006: proctology_invertebrates_sensorium

The Gonarch's Lair and Off-Planet podcasts

006: proctology_invertebrates_sensorium Both were verging on hysteria for the duration of this session: subject A believes his co-habitants erratic behaviour is a reaction to a homemade narcotic, I suspect it is due to the oxygen rationing we have had no choice but to enforce. Their entertainment value rises dramatically when starved of the life-giving gas, it would certainly render my observations more bearable should the environmental control systems remain inoperative. Through his haphazard brandishing of an injured appendage, B inadvertently revealed A has a medical background: could we utilise his experience in battling this relentless Galactic Flu that has ravaged our community? Just to clarify, I am not volunteering my negotiation skills to the unenviable task of convincing Overlord to allow a human to consult with one of our own. The first discussion of the day developed from a fact about lobsters: a seabound creature of Earth that was craved by their elite. I have never understood the appeal of consuming damp, salty flesh, especially when they are void of bones. They also debated the least appealing animals their planet had to offer, ironically omitting their own species despite them invariably topping intergalactic polls on this topic. There were a few hypothetical questions posed during the meeting, the most probing being around a permanent mutation to their senses. Could this be a suggestion that they are seeking some kind of alternate reality, or do they wish to dull their exposure to certain stimuli in the pod? I found this conversation the most challenging thus far, simply because I cannot fathom what it must be like to manage with a fraction of the senses I rely upon. They also consider assembling a squad of superheroes with impractical powers: if I were to analyse this further it could mean that they are seeking some kind of saviour, someone to retrieve them from the deep, cold resseses of space and deliver them to sanctuary. Or it could have just been a fun bit of filler chat. Can anyone corroborate their reports of interstellar pirates stalking the pod? While it is difficult to argue that they aren’t the most fascinating individuals in the cosmos, I have no desire for a repeat of study #324 which, as I am sure you will recall, resulted in a light-yearlong search for the participants’ partially devoured remains. We simply don’t have the time nor resources to commit to another data recovery mission on that scale. Signed, An Observer Tin Soldier Canister 4 by Jack Lancaster (Hand-Crank Music Box Amazing Grace sample by M R McCormack)