Ep 73: How To Keep Intimacy Alive In Close Quarters

The LoveWorks Solution Podcast

A lot of couples are in VERY close quarters during Coronavirus (Covid-19) times. Whereas during "normal" times couples need to carve out time together, during shelter-in-place it's a bigger challenge getting time apart.

Actually, that's our first tip for keeping your intimacy alive while in such close quarters.

Relationships need to "breathe", that is to have time together and time apart, time together and time apart. We need both. It's a common recipe for resentment when we use our spouse as our only social and physical "fueling station". It puts too much pressure on our partner and on the relationship.

There are many ways to take time and space for yourself in ways that nourish and replenish you.

#1 Take time and space for yourself

• Take a walk on your own
• Hang out with your friends online separately
• Nourish your soul, body, mind by doing sports, exercises, nature walks, meditation, painting, building ... whatever does it for you.

#2 Grow, learn, expand, and step outside your comfort zone.

It might sound like peculiar advice for keeping your intimacy alive to keep growing and learning. But growing yourself as a person is "hot", it gives you new material to bring into conversations and it keeps you on your toes.

You can even ramp it up and use each other as a sort of accountability partner. For example, you might state a commitment to your partner like, "By this Friday, I'll have read chapter 1+2 in my coaching book and completed the homework that goes with it" (this is Sonika's current commitment).

Then give progress reports as you go along and talk about what you learned. This keeps your mind fresh, your curiosity open, and helps you avoid the very common trap of stagnation.

#3 Carve out time to focus on your relationship

Even if you're completely overbooked and corona has given you a boatload of extra responsibilities, it's still essential that you find time to focus on your relationship. If all you can do half an hour a week, great, do that, but do it with focus and gusto.

Do things like ...

• Ask each other Intimacy Questions
• Do vulnerable heart shares
• Use Repeated Questions to take you deeper
• Make eye contact
• Hold hands while on a walk
• Chase each other for fun
• Play games and make each other laugh
• Make love
• Take a relationship class

To that last point, we have an opportunity for you.

We created a 90-min mini-workshop for couples to deal with stress and disagreements, How To Be More Understanding During Disagreements. In this workshop-from-your-couch, we are going to help you:

* Find understanding

* Relieve tension and stress

* Discover common ground between each other

* Get on the same page

* Learn techniques to de-escalate during conflict

* Get back to connection

Register here: https://loveworksforyou.com/how-to-be-more-understanding-during-disagreements

We have helped thousands of couples navigate crisis and stressful times, and we'd be honored to help you, too.