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The Sunk Cost of People Pleasing
Manage episode 353650401 series 3091079
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How do you distinguish between constructive behaviour and people pleasing?
You may notice it in other people, and how they interact. And then there’s discerning your own people pleasing behaviour.
People pleasing in teams can become a disadvantage because managers and team members don’t get the feedback and information that they need.
Look at this as energy spent. Suppressing how you really feel ends up taking much more energy than dealing with saying no. Saying yes even when you don’t want to, because that seems just easier. Pushing it down, tucking it under, shuffling it under the carpet can be like pushing a balloon under water, holding it there, pushing it down even further.
It takes a bit of practice to start noticing. Follow the energy: what is it costing you – and others, what are you giving up, and is that worth it? Does it feel like a choice or the only way ever possible?
When people are discounting their own voices and choices, real information doesn’t get shared. In a team or organisation this can get problematic and dysfunctional quite quickly.
When you’re overachieving, what are you underappreciating? At the cost of what?
If you see this happening in your team as a leader, or just starting to notice, this can erode the trust in your team and even your own confidence.
It really helps to zoom out to the bigger picture. Be honest and clear to yourself and to others. Putting yourself at choice. Asking honest questions, to yourself or in a coaching conversation, can be a game changer.
More about us:
Lisa Dempsey – https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisakdempsey/ - https://www.leadershiplabs.eu
Marjolijn Vlug – https://www.linkedin.com/in/marjolijnvlug/ - https://www.marjolijnvlug.nl/?lang=en
Reach us both at PeopleImpactPodcast@gmail.com
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