224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn

The Savvy Sauce

*DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults 224 Surprising Discoveries of Sex in Marriage: An Interview with Shaunti Feldhahn Deuteronomy 29:29a (NKJV) "The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us" Questions and Topics We Cover:

1. Are there any specific questions you recommend we ask our spouse periodically?
2. Will you elaborate on your finding that "men and women tend to have different insecurities that the process of sex can help heal or hurt"?
3. You write "Having a comfortable way to signal (and receive) openness or interest will create connection and prevent much pain." So, how can couples begin to develop their own private language or signals to communicate effectively in a healthy manner?

Thank you to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company Shaunti Feldhahn received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author, and popular speaker. Today, Shaunti applies her analytical skills to investigate eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, The Kindness Challenge, and Thriving in Love & Money, have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages. Her books and studies are popular in homes, counseling centers, and corporations worldwide. Shaunti (often with her husband, Jeff) has spoken around the world, sharing her findings with audiences ranging from churches to women’s and marriage conferences to arena events to youth camps and cruises (yes, those are particularly painful…). Her research and commentary are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show, Focus on the Family, The New York Times and MomLife Today. Shaunti, Jeff, and their two children live in Atlanta and enjoy every minute of living life at warp speed. Secrets of Sex and Marriage Website Previous Episodes on Sexual Intimacy on The Savvy Sauce: Fostering a Fun, Healthy Sex Life with your Spouse with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Ways to Deepen Your Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Douglas Rosenau Ten Common Questions About Sex, Shared Through a Biblical Worldview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Easy Changes to Enhance Your Sexual Intimacy in Marriage with Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Hope For Treating Pelvic Pain with Tracey LeGrand Treatment for Sexual Issues with Certified Sex Therapist, Emma Schmidt Talking With Your Kids About Sex with Brian and Alison Sutter Natural Aphrodisiacs with Christian Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Douglas Rosenau Healthy Sexuality, Emotional Intelligence, and Parenting Children with Autism with Counselor, Lauren Dack Pain and Joy in Sexual Intimacy with Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Identifying and Fighting Human Trafficking with Dr. Jeff Waibel Bridging the Gap Between Military and Civilian Families with Licensed Professional Counselor, Cuthor, Podcaster, and 2015 Military Spouse of the Year, Corie Weathers Enjoying a God-Honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse with Certified Sex Therapist and Ordained Minister, Dr. Michael Sytsma Enjoying Parenting and Managing Conversations About Sex with Certified Sex Therapist and Author, Dr. Jennifer Konzen 63 Maximizing Sexual Intimacy During the Three Most Challenging Phases of Marriage with Christian Sex Therapist Pioneers, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner Conflict Resolution, Infidelity, and Infertility with Licensed Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Jessica McCleese Hormones and Body Image with Certified Sex Therapist, Vickie George Passion Pursuit with Dr. Juli Slattery Female Orgasm with Sue Goldstein Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Treatments Available with Dr. Irwin Goldstein Turn Ons, Turn Offs, and Savoring Sex in Marriage with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Desire Discrepancy in Marriage with Dr. Michael Sytsma Answering Listener's Questions About Sex with Kelli Willard Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Healthy Minds, Marriages, and Sex Lives with Drs. Scott and Melissa Symington Female Pornography Addiction and Meaningful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Building Lasting Relationships with Clarence and Brenda Shuler Healthy Ways for Females to Increase Sexual Enjoyment with Tracey LeGrand Pornography Healing for Spouses with Geremy Keeton Sexual Sin Recovery for You and Your Spouse (Part Two) Personal Development and Sexual Wholeness with Dr. Sibylle Georgianna Our Brain’s Role in Sexual Intimacy with Angie Landry Discovering God's Design for Romance with Sharon Jaynes Sex in Marriage and Its Positive Effects with Francie Winslow, Part 1 Science and Art of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, Part 2 Making Love in Marriage with Debra Fileta Mutually Pleasing Sex in Marriage with Gary Thomas Sex Series: God’s Design and Warnings for Sex: An Interview with Mike Novotny Sex Series: Enhancing Female Pleasure and Enjoyment of Sex: An Interview with Dr. Jennifer Degler Sex Series Orgasmic Potential, Pleasure, and Friendship: An Interview with Bonny Burns Sex Series: Sex Series: Healthy Self, Healthy Sex: An Interview with Gaye Christmus Sex Series: Higher Sexual Desire Wife: An Interview with J Parker Sex Series: Six Pillars of Intimacy with Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo 215 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part One with Dr. Kris Christiansen 216 Enriching Women's Sexual Function, Part Two with Dr. Kris Christiansen 217 Tween/Teen Females: How to Navigate Changes during Puberty with Dr. Jennifer Degler 218 Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Patreon 23 Her Desires and His Desires in the Bedroom with Dr. Jennifer Konzen Patreon 26 Holy Sex with Dr. Juli Slattery Patreon 28 Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Patreon 29 Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma Patreon 49: Story of Healing from Sexual Betrayal in Marriage: An Interview with Bonny Burns Patreon 52 God, Sex, and Your Marriage with Dr. Juli Slattery Shaunti's Previous Episode on The Savvy Sauce: Understanding Men and Women Better with Shaunti Feldhahn Shaunti's Co-Author's Most Recent Episode on The Savvy Sauce: Secrets of Sex and Marriage: Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website Also, check out our Patreon Page to find out how to gain access to additional podcasts and goodies! Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast! Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”