EP 97: Releasing the Need to Prove: Arielle Estoria's Journey to Authentic Leadership

The Unburdened Leader

Do you find yourself in a constant state of proving? Proving that you are a good enough leader, parent, partner, fill in the blank?

Do you know what drives your need to prove to others and yourself?

When does the need to prove you are good enough and worthy enough show up the most? At work, in your relationships with others, or maybe in your relationship with yourself?

When you fall into a constant state of proving your worthiness and value, your unaddressed relational wounds fuel an excessive need for validation and recognition from those around you that exhausts and leaves you in an excessive loop of hustling, anxiety, and doubt.

But when you commit to doing the work to understand your underlying motivations to constantly prove yourself, you can release these burdens and develop a more secure, confident approach to leadership, relationships, and conflict resolution in all areas of your life.

Arielle ​Estoria (she/her) is a poet, author, actor, and model. Her motto, "Words not for the ears but for the soul" stems from her dedication to remind anyone who encounters her work that words are meant to be felt and experienced not just heard, with a specific heart in empowering, encouraging and making space for audiences of women to feel free and at home in their own bodies.

Arielle has shared her work through custom spoken word pieces, workshops and themed keynote talks with companies such as Google, Sofar Sounds, Lululemon, Dressember, Tedx, the SKIMS campaign by Kim Kardashian and more. She has consecutively emceed annual conferences and has led various writing, embodiment and self-acceptance workshops in various settings ranging from students to professional development spaces.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How Arielle has worked to cut ties with people pleasing and learned not to constantly explain herself
• How Arielle defines “secure proving” versus “insecure proving” in her life
• How we can try so hard to prove ourselves that we forget the self we’re trying to prove
• Balancing performance and authenticity online, and how social media makes it hard to show up as your full self
• How Arielle defines success for herself, outside of the linear path through life that she was taught

Learn more about Arielle Estoria:

• Website
• Instagram: @arielleestoria
• Vagabonds and Zealots
• Write Bloody, Spill Pretty
• The Unfolding

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Thicker Than Water: A Memoir, Kerry Washington
• Cleo Wade
• Sula, Toni Morrison
• Jamila Woods
• Maddie Zahm
• Reservation Dogs
• Only Murders in the Building