UndercoverTrucker 02

Undercover Trucker: How I Saved America by Truckin' Towels for the Taliban

In the last episode, you met Billy Big Rig -- disgraced former alcoholic truck driver, bon vivant, and the most enlightened bigot you'll ever meet. He can never reveal his true identity because nefarious agents want him dead.

In Episode #2, Billy gets his chance to drive a truck. But after nearly murdering his co-driver, Sammy, for letting a "lot lizard" into the truck, Billy find himself looking for another job... this time as a solo driver. Along the way, Billy explains why he refuses to use the commonly-accepted racial slurs, but just so you'll know who he's talking about, he'll refer to African-Americans as "Freightliners," Asians as "Volvos", Hispanics are "Kenworths" and Middle-Easterners are "Sand Freightliners." (Billy has no problem whatsoever with homophobic slurs, however. To Billy, "That sh*t just ain't right!") Knowing that after hearing his story, YOU will want to become a truck driver TOO, Billy shares some of the rules of the road that they'll never tell you in truck driver school -- stuff you can only learn out there on "The Killer Road." Billy finds a job as a tanker truck driver, hauling grain alcohol. It almost becomes his doom.

WARNING: Billy sees himself as the picture of enlightenment. You are not likely to see him through the same lens. You may find him downright offensive. So you have been warned. If your satire gland is missing and you download this episode and are offended, it's YOUR fault, not Billy's!