Episode 36 | How To Stop Fighting: The Secret To Getting Along (And Why It's Easier Than You Think) | Guest: Gabrielle Hartley, Mediation Expert and author of "The Secret To Getting Along"

What Nobody Tells Us

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In today's episode of "What Nobody Tells Us," I'm joined by professional mediator, Gabrielle Hartley, to give listeners critical tools to stop fighting and start getting along. Gabrielle isn't just an expert mediator, she's also author of The Secret To Getting Along (And Why It's Easier Than You Think) as well as co-chair of the American Bar Association's (ABA) Mediation Committee. She offers practical steps and solutions for anyone stuck in a never-ending loop of fighting, whether it's with your spouse, a colleague, or even your kid.

In our candid conversation, Gabrielle shares her own journey with conflict, both professional and personal, and how it led her to create the revolutionary YES method, a simple yet profound strategy for de-escalating tension and fostering understanding in any relationship. Her approach is radical yet rooted in empathy, urging us to look inward, identify our roles in conflict, and find the emotional core of our disagreements. By shelving our heated arguments and taking a step back, we can move forward more with less heat and more harmony.

If you're on the brink of a fallout, or simply want to improve your relationships, this episode is for you. Gabrielle's wisdom is not just enlightening; it's a guide to transform your conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection. Gabrielle's insights are universally applicable and desperately needed in our polarized world.

Don't forget to share this episode with someone who might need it, subscribe for more insightful conversations, and leave a review to tell me why you love each episode. And for those hungry for more, my weekly newsletter is packed with deep dives into each episode, guest spotlights and practical advice that will leave you inspired. Subscribe at christiebishop.com.

Resources:

• Learn more or work with Gabrielle Hartley
• Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way To Separate by Gabrielle Hartley
• The Secret to Getting Along (And Why It's Easier Than You Think) by Gabrielle Hartley
• Kate Anthony's "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" Facebook Page
• Bill Eddy's High Conflict Institute
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
• Contact Christie for speaking engagements, training, coaching, and marketing consulting
• Subscribe to Christie's WNTU Newsletter

Episode Chapters:

(05:19) Gabrielle and Christie talk about how to get along (06:04) Gabrielle Harper is a divorce attorney and a mediator (11:36) You wrote Better Apart after years of mediation on divorce (15:43) Can you describe kind of the different types of conflicts? (21:48) Five destructive behavioral tendencies (27:38) If someone doesn't have a trained muscle around apologizing, what do you say? (30:29) Love language is acknowledgment (30:59) The YES method involves acknowledging the love language (33:43) The secret to getting along is to really listen more than we talk (39:59) Creating a strategic plan for tackling disagreements (42:55) Gabrielle says mediation can help people salvage their relationships (50:11) What are some of the consequences of leaving conflicts unresolved? (56:27) Using these techniques is very much trying to consciously parent your children (59:05) Any final advice that you can think of to give to people who are experiencing conflict