Episode 4: Unreasonable Expectations People Have in Relationships

Will You Marry Me?

When two people are in love, getting their relationship to thrive takes a great deal of work. At times, though, lovers can impose undue pressure on their relationship through unreasonable expectations. An unreasonable expectation is a request – however subtle or diplomatic – that requires the person we love to give up something that’s central to their sense of identity.

Two people fall in love, and suddenly religion becomes an issue. Sometimes the pressure comes from either the man or the woman. Other times, it’s outside forces like religious leaders or relatives who are more zealous to preserve their religious traditions than allow love to prevail. In my years of ministry, I’ve had the displeasure of witnessing wonderful lovers end their relationship over pressure to conform to religious demands.

Love between people was meant to be simple and refreshing. Making a relationship work is already a difficult task. The pressures of religion undermine the very heart and soul of the universe: love. We must make up our mind about what’s more important to us: love, or our religion? We can’t have it both ways. Is our religion based on love? If so, why do we make it difficult for lovers to be together?

Anytime we ‘force’ or pressure the one we love to convert to our religion, we’re no longer acting in the realm of love, but of the ego. Love doesn’t try to change people. Love gives people the space to choose their own path, and we’re happy for them.

When we put religion before love, it’s a sign we’ve lost our way. Before there was religion, there was love. All religions will pass away, but love will remain forever because love is divine. We will do well to remember that. Love is the only religion that matters.