YND 10: Friends I Cannot Stand

You're Nearly Dead

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6+ y ago

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This week’s theme is an invitation to the nasty ball, but how will our hosts RSVP? Will Matt and Ben cast off their nice guy shackles? Will Charlie pull a muscle trying to get there early? Is he, in fact, already there? Listen in to find out.
This week also featured the second piece in Ian’s Listener Residency.
MATT
Friends, I cannot stand —
This tiresome twist
Drinking to oblivion, I’ve done before
But on your birthday
Is quite remiss of me.
Was I charming?
I distinctively recall boorishly announcing the of arrival my favourite waitress
And blaming the cigarette
For the vomit.
Please, Give me time —
I’ll choose which path to take
One of drunken bastardness
Or tedious sobriety.
CHARLIE
I'm told that I'm a free man
But oppression always says that
Years ago, I would have been fused to the land
Giving up everything I grew
That may be in the past
But today, I have to do a podcast.
BEN
Master Paul Charles Peyton Higgitt
Dreamt of a status beyond his limit
He wanted his last name to last much longer
He thought both barrels would make him stronger
But despite a future in learning and law
He filed the papers with one fatal flaw
Like a child on christmas
He rushed to the post
Opened his present
While toasting his toast
And discovered that much to his middle class shame
He’d gone double-barrelled
And kept both middle names
Master Paul Charles Peyton Peyton-Higgitt
Dreamt of a status that he couldn’t mimic
A costly education cost him dearly
He could not stand his family to live so nearly
He went to the big apple to make big money
Where he hoped his big name would not seem so funny
IAN
The Coat
It hangs,
flowing vessels of muscle,
and the touch is soft
like the skin I connect with it.
The smell it releases
brings back concoctions
of deadly potions
that used to keep me lingering.
The smell turns to taste
and sits in the back of my mouth,
smoothing over buds,
bringing a familiar flavour.
As the vessels sway,
the gentle sound of fabric on fabric,
pulls back memories of sleeves that wisp
in the wind, like searching fingertips.
The coat looks old and battered
like the tree we would always see.
Watching as things blossomed,
watching as winter came.

12 episodes