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Ep 63: Vulnerable Moment: It’s Time to Share Some of My Story with You Beautiful Souls
Manage episode 376741028 series 2935024
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I haven’t shared much of my story so here goes nothing.
My childhood was nothing to write home about.
PS. This is me sharing my truth, not shifting blame, & certainly not putting anyone down. I love my mama very much. She knows that. ♥️
But moving on. I saw, heard, & was exposed to things children should never be exposed to. Domestic violence, drug addiction, alcoholism, emotional, mental, & verbal abuse were the norm.
I thought things would get better when we left my dad (who abused my mother physically & in every other way imaginable, brought home what appeared to be teenage girls, disappeared for months at a time while Mom was left to figure out how to feed us & not be evicted) but it was only the beginning to another nightmare.
A scorned woman is a force to be reckoned with. And with hurt comes healing, or suppressing it until it changes you to the core.
I don’t blame anyone in my life for the trauma I haven’t recouped from. I like to believe they did the best with the resources they had.
But it doesn’t erase the neglect endured while being left alone with up to 5 kids at a time.
It doesn’t erase the self-destructive coping mechanisms I developed to feel anything other than like a disappointment to everyone around me.
I am who I am due to my fucked up past.
I’d like to think I’m better for it.
Although it took me a while to realize I had to quit running from myself & the shadows inside me, I’m glad I came to the realization when I did.
Had I not, I’d either be dead in a ditch or on an entirely different path. I wouldn’t have met my current husband, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to bring another life into this world who completes our little big family more than he will ever know. I wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to share my stories & shortcomings to help the countless people I’ve helped.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, remember — you did not come this far to only come this far.
You’re a force to be reckoned with. The fact that you’re still here proves how fucking strong you truly are.
Welcome to my world. Welcome to my energy. Welcome to your Spiritual Support System.
You are so loved already. ♥️
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