Real Talk: Exploring Who We Are, What We Do, and How We Came Together
Manage episode 403582081 series 2838095
In this week's episode of 'Real Talk,' Susan and Kristina uncover the secret to their successful partnership. Join them for a hilarious exploration of their working relationship, their practice,and the valuable lessons learned during their nearly decade-long collaboration. So grab a cup of coffee and join them for a candid conversation about what makes their professional bond so special.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW:
https://www.amazon.com/Yes-Your-Kid-Parents-Todays/dp/1637743807
- https://www.instagram.com/stonesupler/
Susan Stone:
Welcome back to Real Talk with Susan Stone and Kristina Supler. We are full time moms and attorneys bringing our student defense legal practice to life with real candid conversations.
Kristina Supler:
Susan ever since the Super Bowl.
Susan Stone:
Oh no, oh no. Don't say it.
Kristina Supler:
I have a secret guilty pleasure. I confess to you and our listeners out there like,
Susan Stone:
Oh my God here, it's coming.
Kristina Supler:
But I am totally, completely obsessed with the dunking Dunkin Donuts commercials, the Ben Affleck Matt Damon commercials. Did you see those during the Super Bowl?
Susan Stone:
Okay. Not only did I see them, but I saw us in Ben and Matt.
Kristina Supler:
That's what I thought.
Susan Stone:
I know.
Kristina Supler:
What is about those two. I was so drawn to it. I can't stop watching when they're there walking in. We got touchdown, Tommy. On the key.
Susan Stone:
You love that one.
Kristina Supler:
I love that one.
Susan Stone:
Touchdown Tommy on the keys. Okay, Because here's what it is. They've been together a long time working and kind of separating.Yeah. We're not childhood friends, but.
Kristina Supler:
No, we're not.
Susan Stone:
But it's been.
Kristina Supler:
It's been a minute.
Susan Stone:
It's been a second. Collaborating,
Kristina Supler:
Creativity
Susan Stone:
Creativity. And, you know, they drive each other crazy, which we do sometimes.
Kristina Supler:
We do. We do. But there's humor there. I can't even tell you how much it made me laugh when Matt Damon looks at Ben Affleck and he's like, how do you like them donuts?
Susan Stone:
Oh my God.
Kristina Supler:
I’m so sorry.
Susan Stone:
Okay. The line I loved is sometimes it's really hard to be your friend or remember, I would do anything for you. This is anything. And I know those moments because in our working relationship, in our friendship, we ask an absolute a lot from each other.
Kristina Supler:
Oh yeah. It's it's really it's been it's been quite a journey we've been on for the past.
I don't even know how long it's been.
Susan Stone:
for the listeners out there. And those of you who are in Greek organizations, I hard rushed Sue Blur to be my law partner. I remember saying, Join me in this practice. And you're like, Well, I still want my criminal defense and you still do.
Kristina Supler:
I still do. You do. I do.
Susan Stone:
But mostly we represent students out there and we do handle a lot of criminal defense and we deal do with that. We still deal with sex issues
Kristina Supler:
all day, every day.
Susan Stone:
It was a hard sell getting you in, but we made it and it's been actually almost ten years.
Kristina Supler:
So why are we talking about this today? Why what is the point of this episode of this topic?
Are our listeners are like what we're gone from done kings and Matt Damon and Ben Affleck to to the two of you are
Susan Stone:
Dunking’s or dukin?
Kristina Supler:
it's done Kings Kings because they're kings I swear folks she’s really smart
Susan Stone:
I just feel like what Dunkin Donuts like
Kristina Supler:
Yeah it is but in the commercial they were getting creative. Okay okay,.
Susan Stone:
Guys that's what life is like in the office and why I do
Kristina Supler:
And that by the way I knew when I met her I said, she's the one for me.
Susan Stone:
Absolutely. Guys, please stop. I'm menopausal I’ll pee in my pants. Okay, so how. Here's the thing, guys.
Kristina Supler:
For real.
Susan Stone:
For real.
Kristina Supler:
In all seriousness,
Susan Stone:
In all seriousness, we do handle your serious legal issues, but it's hard work and you really have to grind a lot of hours and there's got to be a lot of trust in the person you work with. And there's got a lot there's got to be a lot of synergy. And I think that we're doing this episode to show that we really are more than law partners, that we will be like being together.
Kristina Supler:
Absolutely. This is sort of a behind the scenes episode, if you will. And I mean, I think that aside from, you know, our spouses and significant others and friends and family member, people who know us really closely, some people are surprised to hear and learn of how much time we spend together. And we always say, well, it's good thing we really like each other because our work is grueling. There's so many hours and traveling and dealing with tough topics. It's important that we have a really good relationship with each other to get through it all.
Susan Stone:
Yeah, we don't get enough time being buds. We try, I agree with, but we really don't because at the end of the day we want to go home and be with our friends and our family and get a little break from each other.But it has almost been ten years.
Kristina Supler:
I know that's crazy to think about. So let's go back in the time machine and you tell our listeners, take it back a little. Austin Powers Yeah, How? Let's talk about how we met. Like what was our first encounter?
Susan Stone:
We met, Yeah, Yeah. So it's funny, I was a working at my old law firm and Cristina's boss at her firm actually merged into us for a hot sec.
Kristina Supler:
That's right.
Susan Stone:
Hot, sec
Kristina Supler:
hot sec. I just had my second child.
Susan Stone:
I can't believe that
Kristina Supler:
lot of professional transition going on, but, you know,
Susan Stone:
and we're talking high school for your oldest, and that little one is about to become his own young king in the theater.
Kristina Supler:
Yes. He is a man of the art. Yeah, But yeah, I mean, I remember it was like 2013 ish, maybe even further back than that, b
Susan Stone:
But a little bit closer to when the Obama regulations came out in 2011.That’s scary guys.
Kristina Supler:
I know. And I remember I'm plugging away doing my thing. Susan's in her world of what At that point, general litigation in special education.
Susan Stone:
Well, and I was in the beginning of starting my own practice, and I knew I didn't want to do it alone. I knew I needed a buddy with me because it's just let's face it, it's more fun.
Life is more fun with a friend. And we had a project, a case came in that required both skill sets.
Kristina Supler:
I remember I got a call for a student at a very reputable university in the area, very infamous school in terms of Title nine. And I got the call saying, Hey, do you do title 9 work? My son's got this issue.He's been accused of sexual assault. And at the time I vaguely knew what Title nine was, but I knew that I knew sex, sexual assault. Right. And so, like,
Susan Stone:
just came out so awful. It's like you just keep it all, you
Kristina Supler:
I know, the how you try to avoid the the puns. They're just right there and you fall into
Susan Stone:
Keep it clean. Keep it clean This is a family show.
Kristina Supler:
But I remember talking to you and saying, Susan, I have this case. I feel like you would be, you know, good person to partner with on it. And you're like, Yeah, I've done some of those as well and the rest is history.
Susan Stone:
And you know what's interesting to talk about, when we get tense at those moments of tension, it's usually fear.
Kristina Supler:
I agree.
Susan Stone:
When we have fear
Kristina Supler:
uncertainty, fear
Susan Stone:
or exhaustion.
Kristina Supler:
That too,
Susan Stone:
I do have to share a story with what a good law partner Kristina supler is. And what a good friend. Supler is. my gosh. Two weeks ago I got hit with the virus. It was one of the nastiest viruses in my life. I will say for me, it was worse than COVID.
I was.
Kristina Supler:
You were so sick. I don't. I don't know the last time I've seen you that ill. I mean you were writhing in pain. You were literally lying on the floor of your office.
Susan Stone:
yeah. Guys, I was in a dress with heels,
Kristina Supler:
a Prada dress, I might add.
Susan Stone:
It was a beautiful vintage Prada, and I had a very nice bike.Black heel, little Lu bu little red showing on the bottom. Loved it. And I was in so much pain and I was sweating. And we actually had a very important 3:00 meeting and I had to be there. I laid on my floor because I was not going to miss that meeting. No holding my stomach got up, turn my camera on and would turn my camera off to puke.It was so ugly. And then you drove me home and I wore to Mass. And then you got sick. So that's just like crazy,
Kristina Supler:
I’m still on antibiotic .
Susan Stone:
Just the gift that keeps on giving.
Kristina Supler:
That's right.
Susan Stone:
So, what we get out of it is really important. I think the feeling of you always have my back and I always have your back. And
Kristina Supler:
Absolutely. Because, I mean, so much of our work is rooted in absolute uncertainty and there's very little like black and white, you know, clear answers for our cases. And so you're sort of working in a lot of gray and working off of instinct, and sometimes you're not sure what to do. And clients are upset. Everyone's upset. It's tough emotionally.
And it's just it's so rewarding to have someone there by your side go through it with you.
Susan Stone:
You do take it for granted. You forget, my gosh, that's your reality. But you know, look, we see clients at our worst and people say and do things when they're in crisis that they would regret later or Yeah, they feel like I've got to take it out on somebody or, you know, not everybody's so nice.
Newsflash, I tell that to my kids all the time. Not everybody's nice.
Kristina Supler:
This is one of life's big lessons for many of our clients, unfortunately.
Susan Stone:
Interesting that I want to go back to Matt and Ben. Yeah, I feel like I know you, Matt and Ben. If you're out there listening, check that out. And Ben. Yeah. Do you think they're going to listen to this podcast?
Kristina Supler:
I'm sure they will. And they probably already know me because I went to Boston University and they're Boston people. So like, I feel a connection, right?
Susan Stone:
Okay, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Hello. And maybe J.Lo
Kristina Supler:
Do you feel a connection with J.Lo.
Susan Stone:
Absolutely. Not even a little connection, but. But I love you. I love you out there. But we have sort of merged because I would say when we began, you were always much more structured. So I would want it. When we started podcasting, I was podcast and you'd be like, we’ve got to get ready. No, no, no, we've got to do it now. I think now I take a little more time and you've got a lot more of that spontaneity. And we just over the years, I think, honestly, ages mellowed me, and you've gotten a little more spark maybe because you're coming into your own.
Kristina Supler:
That's it. That's right. It's funny you always say we're just like an old married couple. But it's true
Susan Stone:
It's True.
Kristina Supler:
It really is true. We can finish each other's sentences. We do mind melding. Remember back in the day when we did improv lessons together,
Susan Stone:
Do you think Matt and Ben did improv to get ready for the dunking? Is it really dunking?
I'm stuck on it. I can't get off of it. Guys who knew I like that you’re such a moron
Kristina Supler:
Anyone who watched the commercials. But that's okay.
Susan Stone:
I was very focused on Tom Brady. Okay.
Kristina Supler:
Touchdown, Tom. Tommy on the Keys.
Susan Stone:
He's kind of cute.
Kristina Supler:
That's my line. I love that line,
Susan Stone:
but I can’t let it go anyways.
Kristina Supler:
So let's talk about.I mean, why we get this question a lot. How do you do what you do? Why do you do what you do and how do you answer that?
Susan Stone:
it's a higher calling for me.
Kristina Supler:
I totally agree,
Susan Stone:
because I'm sure that I would be doing a little better if we had gone into corporate law or tax or one of those like non-sex things that, you know, people do in big firms.
But we get the privilege of helping people at their lowest point in their life. And we have the privilege when you are being accused or you've gone through something on a college campus, it does feel life altering and it is life altering. And to see younger people through the other side is an honest calling and a privilege. And it's exhausting.
It's it's been life changing for me and it's given meaning to my career.
Kristina Supler:
I would say for myself, I mean, I agree it's something you're called to do. But also for me, I would add that there's just something I think it probably does go back to my prior criminal defense roots and that I just can't help but root for the underdog.
There's someone in a room full of people and no one else likes them, wants to talk to them. People are giving them the ugly. I like. That's the person I just gravitate towards and I want to help. And I think particularly with students and these crazy, awful rules and regulations that surround these big court proceedings and then other campus conduct cases, watching young adults in these awful moments and they have to advocate for themselves.
They have to essentially be lawyers. And they're not you know, they're like literally 12. It's it's heartbreaking. And I just feel so passionate about helping these people get through these awful moments in their lives.
Susan Stone:
And you like talking about sex
Kristina Supler:
I love them. I might. There's something I truly enjoy talking to teens and college kids about their social lives, their personal lives, sex.Sure. I mean, it's so funny, though, because I remember back in the day when we first started and we'd sort of have this stiffness, no pun intended, to talk about
Susan Stone:
I don’t believe you, just said that
Kristina Supler:
to talking about, though, you know, the sexual encounter where things went wrong, so on and so forth. And, you know, pre-COVID days obviously before there were virtual meetings and sitting in the conference room and having these terrified kids look at us and like, my gosh, how can I see these these body part words in front of these older women?
But I don't know. There's just something I think we're both very comfortable with the topic,
Susan Stone:
guys. College kids still very few use the proper body parts. We still hear boobies and titties instead of breasts. It's true. We do.
Kristina Supler:
It is true. And aside from slang terms, I think many of them just like literally don't know the right names for parts
Susan Stone:
that's read our book.Yes, Your kid read the book. That's right.
Kristina Supler:
Going with that. How did how did you read my mind News out there to check out. Yes. Your kid.
Susan Stone:
So, I want to end with sharing the best skill I've learned from you, and that is how to deliver really difficult news to people in a way that's kind, firm and compassionate.
Because in the olden days, when I first started out, I would just look at a kid and say, You smoked too much weed, you got to stop.
Kristina Supler:
And you did.
Susan Stone:
I did. You did. And it was true. Guys. I just tell the truth preach.
Kristina Supler:
Well that's the thing, is that your messages, I mean, were they were right. They were spot on.
Susan Stone:
Yes, they were.
Kristina Supler:
It's hard for kids and parents, especially the parents, to hear because as parents, you know, think about I can appreciate this now that I'm a mother, you're obviously a mother. It's you know, we view our children's successes and struggles in some respects as our own or because of us. And I don't mean that like taking credit for it, but rather if it's like, okay, how did I screw up as a parent where did I go wrong? Did I cause this? And I think that's part of the reason why it's so hard for so many parents to hear,
Susan Stone:
I still get research, guys. If your kids drinking too much, I am going to tell you.
Kristina Supler:
Well, you are still Susan,
Susan Stone:
I you got to be me. Got to be good. But I do it in a different way.
You just lead you there. Yes. And so therefore, when the conclusion comes, it's not as much of a shock. And I learned skills from you. I learned it from you.
Kristina Supler:
Oh, thank you.
Susan Stone:
Well, remember that commercial on drugs?
Kristina Supler:
This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs?
Susan Stone:
Yeah. The kid goes. Where did you learn that for the parent?
I learned it from you.
Kristina Supler:
Oh, I had forgotten that part of the commercial
Susan Stone:
We’re giving good lines
Kristina Supler:
I think you know, something that I have learned from you is the importance of just like when there's bad news, when there's something scary or something you're dreading, just hit it head on. Just deal with it. Like, okay, let's pick up the phone, let's make the call.
Let's have the meeting with the client. Let's be direct. Because, you know, in reality, like the bad thing, it's not going to go away.
Susan Stone:
Yeah, I live by the motto. The only way out of hell is through. And I think that defines our relationship is that we walk through hell for our clients. We walk through hell every day and we do it together.So thank you.
Kristina Supler:
Thanks, listeners. And Susan, thank you for being you.
Susan Stone:
You're welcome. It's really dunking. It's dunking. No, it's not. bye, everyone.
Kristina Supler:
Thanks for listening to Real Talk with Susan and Kristina. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to our show so you never miss an episode and leave us a review so other people can find the content we share here. You can follow us on Instagram. Just search our handle at Stones hoopla and for more resources, visit us online at Student Defense, Dot.com.Thank you so much for being a part of our real talk community. We'll see you next time.
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