**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019** Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs tha ...
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I go into people's homes. They cook. We talk. Enjoy!
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Patch #133 - The Depression Sessions (Frankly Mr Chatly)
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On a cold Monday night in August 2024, tired from just existing, Josh and Christian decided to record Patch 133, "The Depression Sessions" aka Frankly Mr Chatly. For any first time listeners, this is not the Patch for you. Christian and Josh reflect on winter and the sadness of realising that you're already half way through the year. Christian and …
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Episode 6: Carmel Jenkin cooks an oatmeal pancake
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28:36
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Carmel Jenkin is a figurative artist. For over 30 years she's painted the female form. Her work as an artist extends beyond using mediums like oil, charcoal and ink: she also creates super engaging social media content (she has 50,000+ Instagram followers) to promote her art and tell her story. In this episode you'll hear about why depicting the fe…
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Patch #132 - Is Your Fridge Overflowing With Half Filled Jars? ft. Nelson Allingham
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Christian and Josh are joined in the Patchwork studio by the handsome and hilarious Nelson Allingham, host of the Read It On Reddit podcast. Christian welcomes Nelson by confessing that he often passively listens to his podcast while completing chores before tragically revealing that he prematurely retired one of his jumpers from rotation by wearin…
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While they were busy lining up the next Patchwork guest host, Christian and Josh decided to kill two birds with one stone and turned their long overdue catch up with Dion into content for the podcast. Through the miracle of "internet", Dion joins Christian and Josh in the studio to talk through some highlights from his trip including visiting an ac…
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Patch #131 - Where Does A Used Teaspoon Go? ft. Nat Harris
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Christian and Josh are joined by the supremely talented comedian Nat Harris for Patch 131! Nat is about to perform a replay of her Melbourne International Comedy Festival show "Lathered" at Comedy Republic on Tuesday July 16. Purchase tickets through the Comedy Republic website! We kick off the episode by fighting about who has a better 'natural' r…
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Patch #130 - Do You Make Offers You Can't Keep? ft. Michael Campbell
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Michael "Cambo" Campbell of Cancelled Movie Report and Read It On Reddit joins Josh and Christian and is immediately attached for his nickname and the silent "p" in his surname. Don't we treat our guests well! Christian kicks off proceedings by asking Cambo and Josh what they would do if someone asked to grant them access to a building that require…
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Patch #129 - What's Your Approach To Taking A Sick Day? ft. Laura Dunemann
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While Dion is away, the cats will play! And these cats have decided to invite veteran of the comedy scene and Patchwork's first ever repeat guest co-host, Laura Dunemann, onto the podcast! We kick off Patch 129 by making Christian feel more self conscious about his most recent Uniqlo purchase, an Arctic white turtleneck jumper. He's a Christmas rom…
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Patreon Bonus - Do You Wear Shoes Around The House?
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Surprise, main feed Patchworkers! Get a taste of what the Patreon subscribers are receiving every fortnight with this weeks Bonus Patch. Join for as little as $2 a month to support the show and guarantee yourself some Patchwork every week. Jump onto patreon.com/welcometopatchwork In this Bonus Patch, Josh kicks off by asking Dion and Christian what…
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Patch #128 - What Are the Signs You've Overstayed Your Welcome?
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This Patch starts with Josh expressing concern over his own reaction to a message chain in the Patchwork thread. Christian and Dion can't hold back their pride for a Josh looking to grow and learn. We scratch the surface of Josh's brain and try to understand whether it's to react with frustration to a text message that is checking up on you. Is it …
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Patch #127 - Is A Sniff More Annoying Than A Cough?
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43:22
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Christian is sick! He's sick and selfish. He begins the Patch by telling Josh and Dion about the poor decision he made to ride public transport while sick and the consequent pressure of having to 'cover up' his illness. After some light berating, we get to the heart of the matter, which is more annoying, a sniff? Or a cough? And what makes it annoy…
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Patch #126 - Are You Ever Obliged To Give Up A Parking Spot?
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Christian found a fantastic parking spot opposite the church at his nephew’s christening but isn’t sure whether the spot should be reserved for immediate family. Dion quickly finds a parallel to another moment Christian found a premium parking spot on the day of his auction. Does the finders keepers rule apply to parking spots? Or should you be con…
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Patch #125 - Do You Confidently Slice Food In Half?
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Christian has finally found the elderly neighbours he’s been looking for and, typically, they came in the form of a bowl of tomatoes. Dion questions the neighbours' motives and warns Christian by recounting the parable of his neighbour in sheep’s clothing. We then chat about rubbish collection and Josh laments finding a mystery coffee cup at the bo…
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Episode 5: Danny Tran cooks Japanese curry
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Danny Tran is the ABC's National Technology Reporter. He's one of those guys who can do it all. These days Melbourne viewers will best know him for presenting the weather on the evening news. Why not? (He's such an interesting and genuinely cool guy it's only fitting that this episode's alternative title is Cool With a Chance of Danny Tran.) Danny …
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Patch #124 - How Should You Subtly Glance At Someone?
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Ohhhhh wow! We're back from 7 months off and we're out of practice. We kick off by recalling a micro highlight from our trips abroad: Christian visited a Christian themed amusement park, Dion visited a capybara themed amusement park for ducks and Josh watched a man interact with natural history. Christian starts the episode proper by lamenting his …
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Episode 4: David McNeill cooks gypsy soup
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David McNeill is a three-time Olympian, two-time Commonwealth Games representative and Australian Champion long distance runner. His exploits in the 5,000m, 10,000m and cross country events have taken him all over the world, including the Olympic Games in London 2012, Rio 2016 and Tokyo 2020. He’s not just a weapon on the track, he’s also a wise ow…
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Episode 3: The Bargain Hunter cooks nonna's sugo
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Jasmine Angelucci is The Bargain Hunter. As The Bargain Hunter, Jasmine lives out her passion for styling your wardrobe and your house by shopping smart. But there’s another side to The Bargain Hunter. By day, she’s a criminal defence lawyer. You'll find her in court representing people charged with some of the most serious crimes imaginable. Jasmi…
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Episode 2: Christian Pisasale cooks lenticchie
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Christian Pisasale is one-third of the comedy podcast Welcome to Patchwork. Out of the three hosts, Christian is widely regarded as 'the sensible one' whose views accord with those of normal society. He says he feels like Dion and Josh's mum and dad. Welcome to Patchwork has been nominated twice for ‘Best Comedy‘ at the Australian Podcast Awards. B…
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Episode 1: Daniel Connell cooks a prawn sandwich
30:39
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Daniel Connell is a standup comedian. He's a child of the water, hailing from the pristine shores of Batemans Bay. He's a sports fan. He's a fan of sandwiches, but not a fan of sitting down to eat. One of the most active comedians in Australia, over the past decade Daniel has graced stages from Melbourne to Edinburgh, Adelaide to Hong Kong. Today h…
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...Cooks is a brand new podcast about all the good stuff. Food. Cooking. Conversation. Each episode I go over to someone's house, they cook for me, and we have a chat. 👨🏻🍳 🫕 🍕 🎵 Cooks uses music from Epidemic Sound 🎧 Apple Podcasts 🎧 Spotify 🎧 All other podcast appsBy Miniature Productions
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Dearest Patchworkers, we're taking a bit of a break. Christian is doing some extended travel so there won't be regular releases for pretty much the rest of the year. We can't thank you enough for your support over the last 6 years. Looking forward to being back in your favourite podcatcher sometime again in the future. But for the moment, it's good…
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Patch #123 - How Should You Kill Time At A Chemist?
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Christian receives a mysterious hand gesture from a concerned citizen but manages to decipher it. We also ponder the age old question - what's the difference between 'tips' and 'advice'? Christian's psych definitely got it wrong when asked about travel tips. This conversation devolves into Christian and Dion bullying Josh for having the audacity to…
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Patch #122 - Is It Rude To Text Someone During A Speech?
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41:18
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Christian questions whether Josh can sell his abandoned basketball for profit. He's simply a man looking for answers. Josh's comedy group Game Boys won a freakin Green Room Award! So we discuss what genuine surprises we still have in life and if it's rude to send messages and be on social media during a speech. Finally Christian tells the longwided…
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Patch #121 - Are You Easily Embarrassed In Public?
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43:12
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Christian and Josh open this episode with a rather frank discussion about the many hairstyles of the artist P!NK. We explore the unspoken bravery of dying her hair blonde and her notoriety in Australia. Christian then finds a subtle way to tell Josh he's balding and shouldn't colour his hair. Josh then tells us about his new job delivering grocerie…
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Patch #120 - Do You Shake Hands With Friends?
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Josh hosted another party and this time he's taking aim at those partygoers who take other people's drinks. Is it expected that the host will supply drinks? Should you be precious about the drinks you bring to a party? Dion then asks Christian and Josh for the right context in which a handshake is the right greeting? Is there a more appropriate emb…
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Patch #119 - Should You Wait For Others Before Eating?
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40:51
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We’re back, again! Jeez, we spend a lot time not recording this podcast. Anyway, you get what you’re given. If you want more, become a Patreon! This Patch opens with Dion telling us about his recent trip to Texas and a close call with a tornado. We then discuss people who think they’re cool for not liking nature and using TikTok to follow live even…
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Prepare for an outrageous and side-splitting comedy experience in this special episode of our podcast! Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure as the entire episode has been crafted by the comedic genius of ChatGPT, the AI language model with an uncanny knack for humour. Get ready to be entertained by a non-stop barrage of jokes, humorous an…
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Patch #118 - Do You Need Total Darkness To Fall Asleep?
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Open wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold on to them). Christian asks Josh and Dion to be a sounding board about a prank played on his friend's mum.…
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Patch #117 - Do You Make New Plans After An Event Is Cancelled?
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42:14
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Josh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early? Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling relief about an upcoming event being cancelled. He sees the night now as 'free' and able to be reclaimed as a…
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Patch #116 - How Much Finger Food Can You Take From A Tray?
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37:21
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Josh calls out Dion for asking a friend to hotspot internet so he could top up his phone credit, Dion vehemently tries to defend himself by revealing that he actually purchased his sim card from a supermarket. It becomes clear that no one is right and we've wasted each others time and energy; much like all the Welcome to Patchwork episodes. Christi…
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Patch #115 - How Do You Find The Toilet In A Restaurant?
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39:05
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Christian kicks off this episode by wishing himself an early happy birthday and then asks Dion and Josh how they feel about receiving 'happy birthday' messages before their actual birthday. Does receiving an early birthday message change the sentiment? Or is it the same as receiving it on the day? Are you annoyed when someone asks you where the toi…
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Patch #114 - When Do You Save Someone As A Contact?
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We're back for Season 8 baby! To kick it all off, Christian takes aim at Josh for giving him 1 hour to confirm he was available for a catchup before making other plans. Josh tell us about his frustration at some unsaved numbers in a friendly WhatsApp thread which leads us to ask - when should you add someone as a contact in your phone? What makes a…
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As summer heats up (or you're listening to this in winter and have got the heater on really high), it's time we taught you how to beat the heat! We start by talking about the moment we 'know summer has arrived', the ozone layer and how we fixed the whole CFC thing?!! Right? Dion then takes us through UV ratings, we talk methods for applying sunscre…
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Grab a handful of canvas bags and a gold coin because Welcome to Patchwork is teaching you how to go grocery shopping. What prompts you to go grocery shopping? How do you manage your shopping list? What's your shopping strategy once you step foot inside the supermarket? If you lose the person you're with, how do you find them? Should you ever shop …
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In Patch 111, we rip the sticky tape off our cardboard packaging and chat all things recycling. We begin by asking ourselves why we recycle. Is it for the environment? Or is it to avoid the scorn of others? We explore why Josh goes through his housemate's rubbish, the magic and mystery of where our rubbish goes and the history of our attitude towar…
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In Patch 110, we cloak our jackets, skip the queue and talk all things waiting in line. We start by exploring each of our first instincts when approaching a line. Josh establishes the core types of line: single, mess and multi-stream, whilst Christian declares himself a Line Captain. Is Dion cutthroat? Does he call out a line cutter? We discuss som…
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In Patch 109, we roll around in the mud, feed from the trough and eventually discuss all things clutter and collectibles. We start by exploring how to best hide clutter in your very own home. Whether it's in piles, hidden in storage containers or blocking a robot vacuum, our clutter manifests in very different forms. But what even is a pile? And wh…
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BUMP! In Patch 108, we make sure our phone credit is topped up as we step into the world of text messaging. Josh encourages Christian and Dion to become cryptographers as we try to text-spell famous abbreviations; we dissect swiping on a keyboard and many other methods for typing; Christian admires how young people use their phones; Josh encourages…
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Patch #107 - How To Get Dressed For The Day
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From preparing the night before to cuffing your sleeves, Patch 107 covers the gamut of a morning dress up routine. Josh talks us through the first thing he does in the morning before putting on clothes; Christian explores the relationship between wearing nice clothes and being productive and Dion explains why he wears an elastic band as a bracelet.…
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Please keep your seatbelts fastened for Patch 106 as we teach you how to enjoy a flight! We start by covering what we pack in our carry on: Josh is obsessed with charging his devices, Dion has an interesting kind of neck pillow and Christian reflects on a magical moment with a reclining Italian man. We then look at what we first do to settle into t…
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We all enjoy eating at restaurants. But have you ever really thought about how or why we choose those restaurants? In this Patch, we dive into some of the key considerations that go into picking a restaurant. Are you swayed by spruikers throwing in a glass of wine? Will you pick a 'feed me' option? Do you care about the name of the restaurant? In t…
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We navigate the difficult questions and considerations around walking through doors. First door in our line of sight is the revolving door. After dissecting some of the nuances of entering one of the revolving door 'slices', we look at some of the other classic doors: sliding doors, fly-screens, car doors, van doors and the enigmatic turnstiles and…
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Should you wish someone happy birthday in a group thread if you've already wished them happy birthday in your own separate thread. We also ponder what questions you should ask someone on their birthday. Plus Christian reveals how many of his childhood birthdays were spent at Crown: A World of Entertainment. Plus find out if you can give Gordon's Gi…
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This week we give you the indispensable instruction manual on how to properly try shoes, clothes and cars. Dion gives us a surprise Roobois Challenge, and Christian writes the rulebook for when you can return items to a store. Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcome…
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Dion, Christian and Josh are back for Season 7! Join the boys as they cast their minds all the way back to Episode 1 nearly five years ago. They discuss their updated 2022 insecurities, Dion gives an update on his never-ending revolving door of hairdressers, and of course, what they are now Doyens of. Plus old school games ”Monotoly” and Really Goo…
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Patch #100 - Is Saying Hello Or Goodbye More Important? (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2022)
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Patch 100 was recorded LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on April 9 2022 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Josh confronts Dion about something he noticed whilst editing the podcast, we prioritise hellos and goodbyes and finally, discuss making room for dessert. We were also joined on stage by very special guests Meshel Laurie and Dan…
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After months of radio silence, Christian, Dion and Josh are on the mend and ready to return. We wanted to record a quick update to let you know what we've been up to the last few months and our plans to return for Season 7. Thank you for holding down the fort. We're back!... That is our seat though. Yeah. The one you're sitting on. Yeah. We were si…
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Patchwork Rewind #2: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 2)
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For the second week running, to whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 2 last year. Get your tickets to this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here! https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode Recorded LIVE on April 18, 2021 at Comedy Repu…
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2022 Comedy Festival (Sat 9 April) - Do You Tell People At Work If It's Your Birthday?
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We're performing our 100th episode live show baby! Listen to this short little trailer while booking tickets to our bloody show. With special guests comedians Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell! Also jump on any of our social media channels to see this audio recording brought to life in 4-DIMENSIONAL video: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/show…
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Patchwork Rewind #1: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 1)
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To whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 1 last year. Get your tickets for this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode Recorded LIVE on April 11, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourn…
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Patch #99 - When Is It Appropriate To Compliment A Stranger?
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Christian received a wonderful compliment while riding his bike and he was thoroughly chuffed. He tells us about how chuffed he was. Megachuffed. Josh has big issues with message reactions. What was wrong with a good 'haha' or a 'lol' - there's too many options now and it's an absolute disgrace. Does reacting to a message signify simple acknowldgem…
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