Smirk Not Work is an all-inclusive podcast for the nerd side of life. We talk upcoming movies, video games and comics that we are exeedingly passionate for. This includes: Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Halo, Rainbow Six, Battlefield and many many more! Co-hosts are Caleb, DJ, Rhane and LT.
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THE VIBRANT SURVIVOR -How to Identify a Narcissist, Narcissistic Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Childhood Trauma Healing
Lesley Cain - Health and Wellness Coach, Trauma Informed Coach, Healthy Boundaries Coach
***TOP 1.5% PODCAST*** Heal after narcissistic abuse. Do you want to disconnect from narcissistic or toxic relationships? Are you feeling stressed and lonely in dysfunctional family and work environments, or social groups? Are you ready to heal after narcissistic abuse? In this podcast, you’ll find holistically healing solutions to set you free from narcissistically abusive relationships, trauma-related health issues, and the enabling of toxic behavior. My mission is to help you heal after n ...
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91. 8 Ways to Prepare Your Teen to Navigate Narcissism as an Adult
13:54
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Hey, Survivor! How are you preparing your teen to navigate narcissism as an adult? In this episode, I’m sharing 8 ways to do this. It’s normal to feel embarrassed about unhealthy relationships, not trusting your gut, and falling for the lies and manipulations of narcissists. However, you can still make a difference! If you, or someone you know, nee…
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90. Struggling with Feelings of Inadequacy? 5 Tips to Help the Next Generation as a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor.
11:08
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Hey, Survivor! Ever questioned whether or not you’ve done enough? If you are enough? In this episode, I’m sharing 5 tips to help the next generation, as a narcissistic abuse survivor. It’s normal to feel inadequate, after narcissistic abuse. Yet, it provides an opportunity to heal and help others. If you, or someone you know, need help using your p…
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89. 5 Reasons Why Your Brain Feels Drained as a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor
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Hey, Survivor! Does your brain feel drained, after narcissistic abuse? In this episode, I’m giving 5 reasons why, and tips on how to heal. It’s normal to feel mentally drained from toxic relationships. And it’s important to give yourself grace, as you reclaim your energy and mental wellbeing. If you, or someone you know, need help identifying, navi…
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Hey, Survivor! Do you ever wonder why the narcissist goes dark? In this episode, I’m breaking down 3 reasons for this behavior and how to navigate it. Regardless of the nature of the toxic relationship, I’ve seen this pattern play out. When this happens, it’s important to set and reinforce healthy boundaries; and focus on your mental health and wel…
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87. 5 Reasons to Disconnect to Self-Regulate After Narcissistic Abuse
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Hey, Survivor! How do you begin to self-regulate, after narcissistic abuse? In this episode, I’m offering 5 reasons to disconnect from the narcissist or toxic situation. I’ve had to do this in various relationships for the sake of my health and wellbeing. It’s a powerful tool, and it can help you too! If you, or someone you know, need help disconne…
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86. 3 Things to Note About the Narcissist's Smirk
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Hey, Survivor! How do you handle the narcissistic smirk? In this episode, I highlight 3 things to note about this normal, yet negative, non-verbal cue. I’ve dealt with this recently, and I know that behind this toxic power play, there is defensiveness, insecurity, and a need to mask it. Don’t be fooled! And don’t sacrifice your mental health by giv…
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85. Considering a Peace Treaty with the Narcissist? Watch Out for These Red Flags!
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Hey, Survivor! What are some red flags that you’ve noticed when the narcissist, or their enablers, propose a peace treaty? This episode includes 4 red flags and how to navigate them. I’ve been there, and I’ve learned that the narcissist needs you more than you need them; and there won’t be any peace. Don’t engage! You’re worthy of healthy relations…
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84. 7 Ways to Rise Above the Narcissist's Bait
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Hey, Survivor! How do you react, when the narcissist tries to bait you? This episode includes 7 ways to navigate the lies, false accusations, triangulation, projection, threats, and other toxic behaviors. The struggle is REAL! I’ve been there, and I’m here to help you prioritize your healing and healthy relationships. Don’t be fooled by the narciss…
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83. Triggered by the Narcissist in Court? Try this!
18:39
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Hey, Survivor! How have you been triggered by the narcissist in court? In this episode, I’m sharing 7 trauma-informed suggestions on how to navigate these intense moments. I’m sorry if this has happened to you, or is currently happening to you. And I encourage you to prioritize your mental and emotional health and wellbeing. You’re worthy, strong, …
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82. 6 Contactless Ways the Narcissist Tries to Hoover You!
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Hey, Survivor! How has the narcissist tried to hoover you? In this episode, I’m sharing 6 contactless narcissistic hoover maneuvers. Hoovering sucks. And the toxic stress and drama that go along with it, aren’t worth sacrificing your health and wellbeing. If you, or someone you know, need help navigating contactless hoover maneuvers, this episode i…
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81. Struggling with Toxic Stress After Narcissistic Abuse? Watch for Signs of These 5 Bodily Responses!
12:04
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Hey, Survivor! How has toxic stress impacted your body, after narcissistic abuse? In this episode, I’m sharing 5 bodily responses to toxic stress. Healing is a journey. And understanding how toxic stress affects your body is a powerful step forward. If you, or someone you know, need help understanding how narcissistic abuse affects you physically, …
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80. Struggling with Healing from Trauma? 3 Tips to Start Your Journey!
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Hey, Survivor! What are you struggling with most, when it comes to healing from trauma? In this episode, I’m offering 3 tips to start your healing journey, after a breathing exercise. Healing is not a destination or a race. And the path isn’t linear. So, keep moving forward and treat yourself well. If you, or someone you know, need help healing aft…
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79. Frustrated with Toxic Leadership? 3 Strategies to Navigate Narcissistic City and Town Government Officials!
12:29
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Hey, Survivor! How do you deal with narcissistic city and town government officials? In this episode, I’m sharing 3 strategies, after we self-regulate. Leaders should look out for their people. And you have to look out for your health and wellbeing, even as an engaged citizen. If you, or someone you know, need help navigating toxic leadership, this…
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78. 10 Things to Do When Someone Asks You to Set Aside Your Differences with the Narcissist
16:28
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Hey, Survivor! What do you do when someone asks you to set aside your differences with the narcissist? In this episode, I’ll offer 10 solutions, after we calm our bodies and brains. You should consider the source of the request; and prioritize your well-being. Someone who’s fighting the discomfort of toxic relationship dynamics and struggles to set…
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77. 3 Things to Say to Someone Who Tries to Invalidate Your Experience with a Narcissist
8:59
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Hey, Survivor! What do you say to someone who tries to invalidate your experience with a narcissist? In this episode, I’ll share 3, after we self-regulate. You may decide that it’s not worth addressing, and that’s okay too. Ultimately, you have to determine what’s best for your health and wellbeing. Mental health matters; and your peace of mind is …
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76. Frustrated When Others Can't See Red Flags in Narcissistic Behavior? DO THIS!
13:10
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Hey, Survivor! How do you respond, when others can’t see the red flags in the narcissist’s behavior? After we self-regulate, I’ll share 3 strategies for unmasking narcissism around you. Whether you’re a whistleblower or a target (aka a source of narcissistic supply), identifying and confronting narcissistic behavior can be frustrating. Self-regulat…
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75. Disorder in the Court: Navigating the Narcissist's 2 Primary Tactics
22:52
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Hey, Survivor! How have you experienced disorder in the court, when it comes to narcissistic abuse? We’ll self-regulate, then I’ll share 2 primary tactics the narcissist uses in legal battles, along with some tactical tips. Navigating narcissistic and toxic relationship dynamics during legal proceedings can lead to chronic stress and compromise you…
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74. Navigating Narcissistic Dynamics: 6 Tips for Calling Out the Narcissist!
9:27
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Hey, Survivor! Are you considering calling out the narcissist? Let’s breathe together to self-regulate, then I’ll share 6 tips to help you out. Calling out narcissistic and toxic individuals can be stressful and compromise your health. And, in some cases, it can be dangerous. So, you should carefully consider how essential this is for you to heal. …
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73. Unmasking the Narcissist: 3 Manipulative Tactics They Use to Go Too Far!
8:06
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Hey, Survivor! Has the narcissist gone too far with you? Let’s self-regulate, then talk about 3 manipulative tactics they use on you and others. When it comes to the brain, the body, trauma, and relationships, everything is connected. So, self-care, community, and boundaries are essential to your health and well-being. If you, or someone you know, …
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72. Struggling to Break Free from a Narcissistic Group? 5 Healing Tips That Will Help!
11:03
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Hey, Survivor! Struggling to break free from a narcissistic or toxic group? After we self-regulate, I’ll share 5 healing tips to help you exit fearlessly. When it comes to dysfunctional relationships within groups, fear and past trauma can contribute to staying longer than you should. If you, or someone you know, needs help leaving a toxic group, t…
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71. Tools of Engagement: 4 Manipulation Tactics the Narcissist Uses to Bait You Into a Fight!
8:33
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Hey, Survivor! Are you being baited into a fight by the narcissist? Let’s self-regulate, then I’ll share 4 manipulative tactics they use to accomplish this. When dealing with toxic people, it’s important to identify and navigate these tactics, so you can prioritize your mental health and wellbeing, set boundaries, and pursue healthy relationships. …
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70. The Narcissist is HASTY in their Behavior: 5 Red Flags You Can't Afford to Ignore!
11:32
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Hey, Survivor! Is the narcissist being HASTY towards you and others? After we breathe together, I’m going to break down 5 red flags you can’t afford to ignore. When dealing with toxic relationships, it helps to SLOW down for the sake of your mental, physical, and emotional health. And I’ll use these two acronyms to show you how. If you, or someone …
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69. 4 Costs of Maintaining Your Toxic Relationship with a Benign Narcissist
11:50
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Hey, Survivor! How much is your toxic relationship with a benign narcissist costing you? Although these types of narcissistic individuals are considered harmless, you still have to pay to play. We’ll dive into this, after a breathing exercise. Regardless of the relationship, counting the costs of continuing is a way that you can prioritize your hea…
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68. Proximity Matters: How to Navigate When the Narcissist Manipulates!
9:32
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Hey, Survivor! What do you know about the power of proximity, when it comes to narcissistic abuse? After self-regulating, with a breathing exercise, we’ll talk about how to navigate the narcissist’s efforts to control and manipulate you. As always, I encourage you to prioritize your health, well-being and self care, as you move forward on your heal…
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67. Handling Triggers After Narcissistic Abuse: 3 Healthy Strategies
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Hey, Survivor! What do you do when you’re triggered, after narcissistic abuse? In this episode, we’ll self-regulate with a breathing exercise. Then we’ll dive into 3 healthy ways to navigate triggers, so you can move forward on your healing journey. The focus should be on you, your health and well-being, not the narcissist! If you, or someone you k…
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66. Healing When the Narcissist Faces Justice
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Hey, Survivor! How do you react when the narcissist faces justice? In this episode, I’ll guide you through a breathing exercise, and share 6 steps to healing, when the narcissist gets theirs. The key is to prioritize your health and wellbeing, and connect with like-minded individuals in your community. If you, or someone you know, needs healing hel…
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65. Raise Your Voice: Tactics Narcissists Use to Silence You
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Hey, Survivor! How is the narcissist trying to silence you? This is happening in real-time, in my community, to a whistleblower who is helping to fill in details about Preston Lord’s murder. In this episode, I’ll help you self-regulate with a breathing exercise, and share a few silencing tactics that narcissists use. When you don’t disconnect from …
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64. 3 Steps to Self-Care as an Act of Self-Love, When it Seems Like the Narcissist is Winning
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Hey Survivor! You’re stressed, exhausted, at a loss for words, and feeling defeated. You think that the narcissist is winning and you’re wondering, “Where’s the justice?” If this is you, or someone you know, then this episode is a must-listen! I’m sharing 3 steps to self-care, when it seems like the narcissist is winning. These simple steps will he…
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63. Unmasking the Narcissist: How Perception Management Affects Your Healing Journey
11:21
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Hey, Survivor! Have you considered how your healing journey is impacted, when the narcissist tries to manage perceptions? It’s triggering; and I’m seeing this play out in my community, as we work together to eradicate teen violence. In this episode, I’ll guide you through a breathing exercise, explain narcissistic perception management, and offer 4…
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62. Running into the Narcissist: 5 Tips to Protect Your Mental Health and Boundaries
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Hey, Survivor! Do you think you might run into the narcissist, after you’ve gone no or low contact? It’s possible, and it happened to me…recently. In this episode, I’m sharing 5 tips to protect your mental health and boundaries when you run into the narcissist in your life. If you, or someone you know, need encouragement to prioritize their health …
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61. 5 Reasons You Should Stop Communicating with the Narcissist, So You Can Heal!
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Hey, Survivor! Are you compromising your health and healing by communicating with the narcissist? Help is on the way! In this episode, I give you 5 reasons to stop communicating with the narcissist. If you, or someone you know, need encouragement to stop communicating with the narcissist, this episode is for you. Know who you're dealing with. Know …
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Hey, Survivor! Looking for ways to incorporate self-care on your healing journey, after narcissistic abuse? I’ve got you covered. In this episode, I’m covering 6 healthy lifestyle practices that you can do, or have someone arrange for you. If you, or someone you know, need some self-care tips, this episode is for you. Know who you're dealing with. …
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59. 7 Things You Need to Know About the Narcissist's Threats
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Hey, Survivor! Are you being threatened by the narcissist in your life? This is a textbook narcissistic tactic to gain, or regain control of a situation. I’m literally watching upstanders in my community go through this as they seek justice for Preston Lord. Truth is being exposed, darkness is coming to light, and narcissistic individuals are scram…
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58. Got ACEs? 4 Things You Can Do for Your Health and Wellness.
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Hey, Survivor! What do you know about ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experiences? This trauma can lead to more health issues, later in life, if not addressed. I’m seeing this play out in my community, after the senseless fatal assault of 16-year-old Preston Lord. Teen violence has escalated; and there are some common threads among the perpetrators and …
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57. 6 Narcissistic Behaviors and Gems for Navigating Toxic Relationships from the Katt Williams Interview
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Hey, Survivor! Have you listened to the Katt Williams interview that aired this week? I did. And whether he intended to, or not, he exposed some narcissistic behaviors from his experience in the entertainment industry. He also dropped some gems that can help you to navigate toxic relationships. In this episode, I’m sharing 6 behaviors that Katt men…
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56. Don’t Pet the Elephant in Your Narcissistic Family. Do THIS Instead!
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Hey, Survivor! Are you forced to pet the elephant in the room, in your narcissistic family? It’s hard, especially when you don’t have language to describe what has happened, or is happening, to you. Or you feel pressure to suck it up and keep forging ahead, through chaos and confusion. This episode offers healthy hacks, so you can stop swimming in …
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55. 7 Benefits of Hiring a Private Investigator, After Narcissistic Abuse
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Hey, Survivor! Have you considered hiring a private investigator, after narcissistic abuse? It may sound extra; but it’s not. Actually, it can help to reveal the truth about who and what you’re dealing with. This episode offers several benefits of hiring a PI, so that you can focus on your health and wellbeing. Narcissists love to create chaos and …
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Hey, Survivor! Are you ready to tackle some myths about trauma? At one point or another, we’ve all shamed and blamed ourselves for our body’s reaction to what has happened to us. So, this episode is dedicated to helping you better understand what has happened to you, so that you don’t assist the narcissist in your life in making you feel bad so the…
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53. Is the Narcissist Trying to Ruin Your Special Occasion? 4 Ways to Navigate Narcissistic Sabotage Attempts
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Hey, Survivor! ‘Tis the season for special events. And, for narcissists, special events can evoke sabotage attempts. This could include: holiday parties, family gatherings, weddings, and more. What should be a joyous occasion can easily become a stressful or traumatic situation that compromises your health and wellbeing. When I got married 26 years…
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52. 3 Ways to Express Gratitude After Narcissistic Abuse
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Hey, Survivor! After narcissistic abuse, expressing gratitude can boost your body and brain health. As a survivor, it can be hard to give thanks, after dealing with a narcissist. That said, being grateful is a healthy way to turn your attention away from narcissistic or toxic relationships that are robbing you of your precious resources (i.e. time,…
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51. 3 Ways That I Experienced the Healing Power of Music, After Narcissistic Abuse, at a Bucket List Concert
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Hey, Survivor! Last week I talked about how to tap into the healing power of music, after narcissistic abuse. This week, I'm sharing how I just put this into practice on my own healing journey. I don't just talk about it...I am about it. I just returned from Vegas, where I checked a top childhood trauma healing concert off of my bucket list: Johnny…
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50. How to Tap Into the Healing Power of Music, After Narcissistic Abuse
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Hey, Survivor! Trauma responses can be intense after narcissistic and toxic relationships. And there may be certain songs that you associate with that period in your life. In today's show, I’m sharing ways to tap into the healing power of music, after narcissistic abuse. Music can calm your nerves, empower you, and set you up to co-regulate with ot…
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49. Is the Narcissist Trying to Hoover You? 8 Tactics, Plus Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
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Hey, Survivor! I know how painful, distressful, scary, and annoying it can be, when the narcissist tries to hoover you. In today's show, I’m sharing 8 hoovering tactics, plus tips for setting healthy boundaries, after narcissistic abuse. The goal isn’t to trigger others. It’s about helping you to triumph over trauma, by stopping the abuse. Once you…
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Hey, Survivor! I know how hard it is to disconnect from narcissistic and toxic relationships. In today's show, I’m sharing 5 ways to disconnect from this dysfunction. This isn’t about punishing anyone. It’s about creating space for you to begin a long-lasting journey of healing. As tempting as it is to state your position loudly and proudly, I cann…
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47. 10 Tips for Healing After a Narcissistic Relationship
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Hey, Survivor! The struggle is REAL, when it comes to dealing with narcissistic or toxic relationships. In today's show, I’m sharing 10 healing tips to add to your toolbox. One size does not fit all. Healing is a journey that’s as unique as you are. Regardless of the nature of the relationship, narcissists will drain you of your time, energy, atten…
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46. Learn to Read Food Labels and Identify a Narcissist in 4 Steps
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Hey, Survivor! Do you know what food labels and narcissists have in common? In today's show, I’m sharing 4 steps to learning how to read food labels and identify a narcissist. There are correlations between the two that can impact your health, for better or worse. With all of the food confusion out there, knowing how to read labels is a must. As a …
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45. 4 Ways to Help Your Child Set Boundaries and Break Generational Cycles of Trauma
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Hey, Survivor! Are you triggered by toxic traditions that involve inappropriate behavior towards children? In today's show, I’m offering 4 ways to help your child set boundaries and break generational cycles of trauma. The same principles can apply to you, regardless of the nature of your relationship. As difficult as it may be, trauma-reinforcing …
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44. When the Narcissist Dies: 3 Tips for Handling and Accepting the Death of a Narcissist Close to You, Part 2
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Hey, Survivor! In today's show, I’m sharing 3 tips for handling and accepting the death of a narcissist close to you. When the narcissistic or toxic individual in your life is gone for good, it takes a toll on your physical, emotional, and mental health. Clean-up is messy. But you don’t have to do everything yourself, or white-knuckle it. You can t…
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43. When the Narcissist Dies: 4 Tips for Handling and Accepting the Death of a Narcissist Close to You, Part 1
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Hey, Survivor! In today's show, I’m sharing 4 tips for handling and accepting the death of a narcissist close to you. It’s easy to get caught in fight, flight, or freeze mode OR stuck ruminating over your toxic relationship. When this happens, you can lose sight of the fact that both the narcissistic relationship and the narcissist have expiration …
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42. Are You the Narcissist? 4 Things to Consider
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Hey, Survivor! In today's show, I’m providing 4 things for you to consider, if you're questioning, "Am I the narcissist?" Narcissism is a spectrum, and we're all on it together. Ideally, like many things in life, you want to avoid the extremes of selfishness or selflessness. Somewhere in the middle is just right. Highly narcissistic individuals are…
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