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The Leader Learner Podcast

Theresa Destrebecq & Vincent Musolino

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The Leader Learner podcast is for passionate leaders who believe that continuing to learn and practice our people and connection skills is necessary to influence and lead others in the most effective way. This podcast is brought to you by Vincent Musolino, leadership trainer, coach, and consultant and founder of COAPTA, and Theresa Destrebecq, facilitator, coach and community kickstarter, and founder of Emerge Book Circles. Join us as we discuss books, learning, and leadership between oursel ...
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show series
 
Check-In: What's your favorite place in your neighborhood? Big Ideas: Common issues in phone-based children now adults - social isolation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation, addiction Lack of in-person interactions and conflict, leaves them unable to resolve conflict in reality Dopamine addiction online, leads to cycle of waiting for ackno…
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Check-In: What has recently become less important to you? Big Ideas: Look at the lattice of the organization, not just the ladder Leap between individual contributor and manager No change of nature between the different levels of managers - shift in intensity, but not the nature of the work Develop a network of people at and around your level At so…
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Check-In: What's giving you hope right now? Big Ideas: What constitutes inequity? When your unbelonging can connect you with other people who feel unbelonging Gender equity issues not coming up in some leadership trainings Cultural and country differences in gender equity Calling out misogynistic jokes - Should I? Context dependent? "isms" as part …
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Check-In: Which projects give you energy? Big Ideas: 3 skills that lead to successful groups: building safety, sharing vulnerability, establishing purpose cohesive groups - telling stories and reminding one another what they stand for murmuration - how birds move together using small signals to link the present moment to the future ideal organizati…
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Check-In: Do think the best time of your life is in the past, present, or future Big Ideas: flexibility in work schedules - what do we need to do so the equipment that supports remote working shifting mindsets around traditional ways of working shifting schedules to accommodate global clients sense of freedom in being able to shift your schedule fl…
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Check-In: If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why? Big Ideas: when books make leadership seem easy, when it's not 5 elements that every team needs to function well together, written as a pyramid using books as a guide can lead us down the wrong path The 5 Dysfunctions are: Absence of Trust, Fear of Conflict, Lack of Commitment, Avo…
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Check-In: How did you spend your summer breaks as a child? Big Ideas: How do you know when connection exists in a group? The importance of having care/connection when giving feedback Connection is not the same as relationship Feel a connection to someone without a relationship A relationship can exist without fully knowing someone Trusting characte…
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Check-In: In your opinion, when is innovation overused? Big Ideas: Binary questions - Are they useful or not? Are creating and innovating the same? Moving from being salaried to hourly and the implications/impact it had Feeling of liberation being hourly rather than salaried Sense of equity - treating all of us the same Mental load and how it's oft…
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Check-In Question: Would you tell people if you won the lottery, would you tell people or keep it a secret? Big Ideas: Exercise: Draw a meeting on a paper. Color code. RED- people talking too much. GREEN - people talking too little. ORANGE - people speaking in a toxic way What do you notice? Share of voice When is interrupting others okay? Cultural…
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Check-In: What cause would you be willing to give up your life for? Big Ideas: gratitude can help us out of dark places attitude of gratitude is not the same as a practice of gratitude gratitude practice as a daily ritual gratitude as a feeling, not necessarily saying "Thank you." feeling proud rather than just lucky Who are you grateful for who su…
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Check-In: If you could change anything about yourself, what would you change? Big Ideas: Should organizations provide resources for employee mental health? Mental health is still a taboo topic for many, especially in organizations Not educated about topics of mental health Shame associated with an EAP program Culture of "suck it up," "be strong," a…
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Check-In: Which superpower would you like to have? Big Ideas: Definitions of authentic leadership Authentic leaders deeply understand their values, strength and purpose and use that to motivate and inspire others The ability of people to tell their own stories and help people connect to that story 4 Dimensions of Authentic Leadership: Self-Awarenes…
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Check-In: Do you like to be used or second hand items? Big Ideas: Is leadership working? Does leadership training work? Training cannot be done outside of the context Consuming, Connecting, Creating Stopping our ways of being are habitual is more challenging than we thought We are emotional beings Embodiment of the ideas takes longer than a trainin…
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SPECIAL NOTE: This podcast was originally recorded as part of the "Talent Unleashed" podcast, which never launched because Theresa was too optimistic about her time capabilities. We decided to honor the guests and publish it under this brand instead. Enjoy :) BIG IDEAS: The F*ck Up List - an explicit place for sharing our mistakes and making it tra…
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SPECIAL NOTE: This podcast was originally recorded as part of the "Talent Unleashed" podcast, which never launched because Theresa was too optimistic about her time capabilities. We decided to honor the guest(s) and publish it under this brand instead. Enjoy :) Big Ideas: What does it mean to unleash talent? When learning spreads out across multipl…
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Check-In: What's better, love or money? Which has more power, love or money? What's more powerful, love or money? Big Ideas: Money as a substitution for time Infatuation can be a very powerful motivator. Differentiation between moments of happiness and love Putting love into leadership People going back to work just to see the people Power and the …
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Check-In Question If you were invisible, what's the first thing you would do? What good can you do while being invisible? Big Ideas: 4 quadrant matrix - Caring Personally, Challenging Directly High Care, High Challenge - Radical Candor High Care, Low Challenge - Ruinous Empathy Low Care, High Challenge - Obnoxious Aggression Low Care, Low Challenge…
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Check-In: What do you think the purpose of life is? Big Ideas: Failing reference models Shift from the meaning of crisis to the crisis of meaning What's the meaning of work? Reference models on how to live together (the Greek pantheon, organized religion, science, governments) Does work give us meaning? When we get the message that meaning at work …
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Check-In: If you had the whole world's attention for 30 seconds, what would you say or do? Big Ideas: Hypocrisy and leadership Immorality in leadership Do leaders have to be good people? We think of leadership as for the good of the people What tactics are immoral leaders using to get people to follow them? Leadership as a pipeline - a relationship…
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Check-In: Share an experience when you felt great as part of a long-distance team, or a team in general. Big Ideas: Is virtual the right word? Long distance, remote, or virtual - Are they interchangeable? Long distance being more neutral Virtual teams used to be for individuals meeting for a certain project, where not everyone worked for the same b…
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Check-In: What is one key trait that makes successful people successful? Big Ideas: Thinking better with other people "We think best when we think socially." Social constructivism Group think -- we let loyalty take the place of our thinking Think for yourself, before you think with others Use tools/methods to help people think better Think first, s…
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Check-In Question: Share a memorable meeting experience. Big Ideas: Rituals in meetings Clear structures in meetings get to a result How we feel in a meeting matters Power dynamics in meetings A common ritual - rotating "leadership" of the meeting Rituals can vary depending on the type of organization and their values and the spirit of what you are…
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Check-In Question: What do you look back and think, "I would never do that again?" Big Ideas: We do our best thinking when are up and moving around Gestures help us think through ideas "We use our brains entirely too much." Do we use our brains, or does our brain use us? Most of our best ideas come when not trying to think through something Thinkin…
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Check-In Question: Do you think the internet is making people more or less social than we used to be? Big Ideas Look at the quality of connections Move to virtual was an opportunity for many What is remote work? What do I do in the office? How do I cope with back-to-back calls? Do I have to watch recordings of missed meetings? How do we collaborate…
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Check-In Question: What are you attached to? Big Ideas: How does our attachment related to our happiness? Relationships have a direct relationship to our health What will continue to shift in our relationships as we work in virtual spaces Desperate for connection Can't escape our need for connection A tribe is 150 people Are people more afraid of c…
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Dave Mills Bio: With over 25 years experience in the learning and development industry. In that time he has facilitated internationally and covered a wide number of subjects from driver training on forklift trucks to facilitating senior leaders to flourish through change. He is currently a senior consultant and SME in the People Development and Eff…
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Check-In: Describe a time when you helped a stranger. Big Ideas: sense of ownership autonomy as a cop-out for organizational responsibility not about changing the fish, but about changing the environment When we invite people into our organizations, are we hoping they will be 'unbreakable'? the challenge of changing the whole organization teaching …
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Check-In Question Have you given yourself a life mission? Big Ideas: How different industries look at failure and learning Not being criminalized for making mistakes Can we really trust people? (ie, Body Cams) When to be treated as a criminal for a mistake that kills someone and when not to The situations that draw us into making life/death decisio…
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with Guest, Gwen Stirling-Wilke Dialogic OD Consultant Check-In Question One powerful moment in a virtual space Big Ideas: The Check-in Question Check in questions brings about shifts in the relational space and creates Liminal space can help people transition from one space to another. It's a punctuation and allows for recalibration Questions can …
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An episode of questions, all about 2022. How would you answer these? What was the best $100/100€ you spent in 2022? What compliment did you receive in 2022 that still sticks with you? What book did you read in 2022 that was really impactful? What is the nicest thing that someone did for you in 2022? What was the best TV show, movie, or series you w…
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Check-In Question: Are you the kind of person to make the first step in love? Tell us all about it. Big Ideas: 8 different dimensions of culture that show up in work: Communication (low context or high context) Evaluating (indirect negative or direct) Persuading (why or how) Leading (Egalitarian or Hierarchical Deciding (Consensus or. Top Down) Tru…
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Check-In Question: How do you define intelligence? Big Ideas: Is charismatic leadership over-rated? Likeability versus leadership. They aren't mutually exclusive. Melencholic leaders are more affective Power over (positional), versus power with (relational) What emotions can be shown at work, and by whom? Leadership struggles for Theresa come from …
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CHECK-IN QUESTION: If you could take a week-long vacation anywhere in the world by yourself, where would you go? BIG IDEAS: Essentialism isn't minimalism Being intentional about how we spend our time How do we decide what we take on and what we don't? Useful time - how to determine what is useful or not? Useful doesn't always mean fun What's the di…
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Check-In Question: Is there any value in buying paper dictionaries anymore? Do you think paper books will die within our lifetimes? Big Ideas: Creating connection in virtual spaces Importance of taking time and not having an agenda or expectations Who we are as people as opposed to who we are in our roles Skills needed in virtual space are differen…
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Check-In Question: What personal quality do you know people appreciate about you? Big Ideas: 3 attitudes - Unconditional Responsibility, Essential Integrity, Ontological Humility Ontology - Philosophy related to being, relationships one has to being Dividing responsibility starting from 100% doesn't work, each person has 100% responsibility for the…
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Check-In Question: If you were a vegetable, what vegetable would you be? Big Ideas: Theresa's BIG Reflection Question: How can I have an opinion or take a stand on something, without other people taking in personally, or feeling judged. "Strong back soft front." ~Joan Halifax Is taking a stand the same as having an opinion? How can you care about s…
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Check-In Question: What website do you visit multiple times a day? Big Ideas: What gets in the way of great leadership? Imposing my perspective/values on other people Imposter syndrome leading to self-doubt When we don't address our own emotions Shame getting in the way of leadership The less we talk about emotions the more we feel Not talking abou…
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Check-In Question: Who is the most likeable person that you know? Big Ideas: Taking breaks - why we do it, why we don't, etc Real vacation, no work AND vacation, but thinking about work Taking a break means NOT thinking about work Having some location separation between work and home Can't compartmentalize work and personal life Is separating work …
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Check-In Question: Do you like working from home? How to create community in virtual spaces Big Ideas: What's our magic, our thing, our niche, etc? The importance of FUN Tech issues we encountered - Theresa's slow connection Types of episodes: Quotes and Question, Guests, Shoot from the Hip, Coaching One Another - Listeners, what is your favorite e…
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Enjoy this spontaneous, unplanned conversation which turned into an episode :) BIG IDEAS: Relationship being more important than the gift Do gifts pollute or change the relationship? Polluting versus enhancing? What do we do with compliments? Genuine connections over the "connect and pitch" Link between connections and gifts to worthiness When we d…
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Check-In Question: What is money good for? Big Ideas: Two kinds of money -- those that fulfill our needs, and those that we think will fulfill our needs, but don't. Indigenous tribes that don't use money. Question of whether it is essential? "Money isn't the problem. Money isn't good or bad. Money itself doesn't have power or not have power. It is …
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Check-In Question: What do you think people regret the most when they look back on their life? Big Ideas: Different stages of life: the call, the messy middle, the resolution Life being one long journey, with lots of small hero's journeys throughout Stage 1: Ordinary World; Stage 2: The Call to Adventure; Stage 3: Refusal of the Call; Stage 4: Meet…
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Check-In Question: Do you think it's appropriate to cry at work, and when was the last time you cried at work? Big Ideas: Is appropriate the right word to refer to having emotions at work? Judgment behind the work appropriate Permission to have the full range of emotions, even at work How criticism brings up a sense of threat, even if we don't cons…
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Check-In Question: Would there be more or fewer people leaving their jobs (divorces) if people could read each other's minds? Big Ideas: The importance of candor in organizations How we do candor matters The culture of candor matters - sometimes labeled a non-team player if point out mistakes Safety as it relates to communication styles - direct/in…
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What kinds of things you'll learn about us: What we individually create in our work, and what for What makes Theresa happy about her work The company Vincent would want to change The artist/band Theresa would take with her to a deserted island The book Vincent would read for the rest of his life Theresa's most badass leadership moment What Theresa …
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With Guest Suzanne Lee from Straumann Group Big Ideas: Intimate relationship between leadership and learning Leadership is an invitation to tomorrow that is better than today Perform for today, transform for tomorrow - learning and listening is at the core Learn faster than the environment is changing The I, the We and the It -- learning must happe…
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Vincent starts off with a story…. Big Ideas: Don’t take employees monkeys, or it turns into a zoo Employees need to keep their own monkeys Leaders and managers are not necessarily the same It’s exhausting and unsustainable for a manager to take everyone’s monkeys It’s natural for managers to take things off people’s plates. They think it’s their jo…
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Check in Question: Do you believe criminals can be truly rehabilitated in prison? Big Ideas: “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Fear of people who are different than us The costs of the advice trap that leads to dysfunction in teams Advice is personal and the transfer of it doesn’t alway flourish in another context,…
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With Guest: Tames Rietdijk, founder and former CEO at Business Forensics Check in Question: Did you ever play hooky or cut class in school? Big Ideas: Learning as a way of life Balance between “living the life of my knowledge, living of the knowledge of life” Would lose perspective if I focused my learning on only one area Living of the knowledge o…
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Check in Question: If you could spend a whole day with any one person, who would it be? Big Ideas: Learning from anyone through their experiences Thinking that one has potential doesn’t commit to anything, but believing that people have the keys to their own happiness and that you are equals Seeing your children as your teacher, rather than you as …
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