Episode 73: Unlearning Silence with Dr. Elaine Lin Hering Have you ever received the feedback to “speak up” at work? Say more in meetings. Turn up the volume. It sounds so easy but speaking up isn’t always that straightforward – or welcomed. Today’s guest is Elaine Lin Hering, author of Unlearning Silence: How to speak your mind, unleash talent and…

If you’ve ever achieved a big goal, was it everything you’d hoped? Probably not. Callum Wilson dreamt of representing England’s national rugby team since he was a kid, but when it happened, it didn’t change his life the way he’d hoped. Sidebar: This is NOT an episode about rugby. It’s a powerful, tender conversation about how a tattooed, 113kg over…

You’ve heard of burnout, but ever heard of bore-out? Apparently, it’s a leading cause of why people leave their jobs. I’m not talking about things feeling a bit drab. I’m talking about the loss of meaning in your work, and the adverse effects this can have on your mental and physical wellbeing. As you become more senior, maybe your days are full of…

Do you have BLS? (Beige Leadership Syndrome). I just made that up, but it’s a thing. If you work in corporate, you know the meetings that are soda-cracker dry. The BS buzzwords. The slow death by Power Point. The lack of relatable, inspiring leaders at the top. What gives? Enter Erin Hatzikostas, ex-CEO turned author, TEDx speaker, podcaster and co…

Dr Jeff Spencer is the man behind more than forty Olympic gold medals, and stellar performances by Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and many other elite performers who are household names. In today’s conversation, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the techniques Jeff uses with them. Hint, hint – it’s NOT more striving or hyper-focus. You’ll learn to …

Want to learn the real deal on your inner critic from a Stanford-trained neuroscientist? You’re in luck. Today’s guest is Dr Irene Salter, whose inner critic (named Draco) was taking too much airtime in Irene’s life. You’ll hear Irene’s hypothesis on where the inner critic comes from. Then she takes us through a real-life scenario of how she turned…

When work isn’t working, it’s easy to question yourself, “Why can’t I hack it? What’s wrong with me?” Maybe you’re feeling stagnant, exhausted, or even burnt out. Is it a capacity issue or are you high net growth? (stay tuned for what that means). I’m in conversation with award-winning author and podcaster, Jenny Blake. During her career at Google,…

If you love an act of kindness, this episode is gonna feel like lowering yourself into a hot mug of chocolate, with itty bitty marshmallows. Acts of kindness have proven health effects, but I’ve also noticed something else. They are a splendid antidote to feeling self-critical, not enough, and being too zoomed in on your own inner world. This episo…

Former litigator (and firefighter) Shannon Sedlacek is back by popular demand. She featured in episode 53, one of the most downloaded episodes of the year. She’s back to share what happened to her identity when she was forced to leave her impressive job. She shares how her sense of self shifted so dramatically, that at one point, she didn’t even wa…

If you’ve ever downplayed your success at work, felt like you didn’t belong, or attributed your career wins to luck, you’ve likely experienced Imposter Syndrome. Stats show that 70 per cent of us have experienced its wily grip at some stage of our careers. In this fast-paced solo episode I share three key things that might be causing imposter syndr…

If you’ve ever been labelled too loud, too intense, TOO MUCH, this episode is for you. I’m in conversation with two guests who, for years, felt the need to shrink themselves to be more acceptable for others. You’ll meet Karen Goldfinger Baker, who had a stellar career in fund-raising, and now coaches pro athletes and executives at organizations suc…

You’ve spent decades making sacrifices and pushing yourself towards success. You love the thrill of the chase. But lately you noticed that you’re just not that into it. The bonuses, shiny things and lures of more status and power leave you flat, and you can’t explain it. You’re a little bored, maybe even burnt out. How do you get your spark back? T…

Anger feels like the baddie of emotions. Many of us deal with anger by numbing it, or pushing it down, hoping it’ll magically disappear. But it’s still there, trapped in the body. Instead of stuffing it down, let’s talk about anger, and learn a more effective way of processing it. Today’s guest is Dr Caroline Boyd, Chartered Clinical Psychologist a…

Are you addicted to the buzz of work — the pace, the adrenaline, the excitement? The insidious thing about work addiction is that it’s often praised by others, giving it a very different “feel” than being addicted, say, to cocaine or pornography. In today’s episode, you’ll learn how we become addicted to work — is it the result of childhood trauma,…

“I just need to get through this project, and then I’ll slow down.” Who knows that lie? You can love your job AND still be exhausted by it. Today I’m talking about the exhaustion during those ultra-intense periods when we push down the red flags from our body. My guest is former Disney executive, Dr David Yudis. Disney is the happiest place on eart…

Author and psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler and I dig into self-criticism, judgment, and comparison. I share a real-life scene from a “Wild Woman” retreat, and what a cringey conversation (involving a sarong and hand-held mirror) taught me about how I handle challenging situations. I suspect this will be a useful insight for you too. How d…

Have we got perfectionism all wrong? Is it something that we need to eradicate? Today’s guest is Katherine Morgan Schafler, psychotherapist, and former on-site therapist at Google. In her new book, The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control, Katherine says we don’t need to “recover” from perfectionism to be happy and successful. We need to learn h…

Maybe you’re purchasing status markers, like red-bottomed shoes or the latest gadgets to signal your success (and hey, no judgement! I do it too!) Maybe the title and the pay reaffirm your identity. You tell yourself that “one day” you’ll arrive at a certain paygrade or career milestone, and THEN you won’t need the validation anymore. THEN success …

When you’ve spent years in survival mode at work, your body starts perceiving this as normal. A recent article in Forbes mentions a new profile of burnt-out employees, the ‘engaged-exhausted.’ They continue to function at the highest levels, but inside they’re highly stress and have mixed feelings about their careers. Why do some people continue to…

What happens to your sense of self when you leave an important job at an iconic brand? It can feel like a loss of identity when the corporate perks and the business card are gone. There can be grief, relief, and a cocktail of other emotions. In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three women who left big jobs at Nike, Rothschild, and IBM. You’ll hear…

You’ve spent years pursuing a career, and it’s been tough. Then again, so are you. You’re exhausted, and your mental health is fraying. But you can’t even contemplate upending your life now that the money’s good and you’ve got status and titles. Sound familiar? Today’s guest, Shannon Sedlacek, was a litigation attorney whose career looked enviable …

Black. Gay. Christian. Shermain Melton spent much of his life hiding his sexual orientation and not feeling good enough. In this powerful 26-minute episode, you’ll learn how Shermain spent years trying to push down his truth so that he’d fit in. One day he returned home to find his room upside down, bed flipped, drawers turned out, and he knew his …

Why is it so hard to put yourself out there? – especially if you’re prone to feelings of imposter syndrome and perfectionism. Before I share some tips and tricks from today’s expert, let’s go deeper on what might be influencing your feelings around visibility. What social, cultural, and familial aspects might be at play? This bit was a game-changer…

To celebrate my 50th episode, we’re having a quick but deep-n-real conversation about how some of the changes in middle life might be stirring up feelings of not-enoughness. If your self-identity is based on your appearance, your heroic work ethic, and success after dazzling success at the office, what happens when those pillars start shifting? I s…

Today’s guest is Darrah Brustein, a coach and business strategist who has interviewed the likes of Seth Godin, Bobbi Brown, Adam Grant, Jen Sincero, and Shaquille O’Neal. She’s also one of my coaches! We do the conversational equivalent of the Christmas Cracker, a festive custom in Britain, dating back to Victorian times. A modern-day cracker usual…

You dream of reconnecting with the things you once loved. Erm, what were those things again? For years, it’s been all about work, and managing an array of things and other people. You’ve all but disappeared. You’re busy and getting busier. Something’s got to give, and you’re afraid it might be you. That’s what happened to today’s guest, Paden Hughe…

You’re an overachiever. Maybe you’re often referred to as a badass. Everyone’s in awe of how much you get done, and how in control of life you seem to be – and admittedly, that admiration feels good. In fact, you live for it. What almost nobody knows is that you’re fizzling with anxiety, up at night ruminating on things, quick to anger, and you str…

This is an experiment! I’m bringing together some key moments from a selection of episodes in the show. These clips were chosen based on listener feedback or moments that made me think, wow, that was something special. I’ll guide you through some heart-opening stories and wisdom drops that’ll hopefully make this a feel-good episode, and a self-comp…

You’re setting more boundaries. You’re using your voice more than ever before. Something’s rising inside of you. But setting boundaries and standing in your power challenges existing dynamics – meaning not everyone’s going to be delighted by your new-found voice. How do we build that inner robustness as we start speaking more of our truth? — especi…

If you’ve ever been told something unkind, and it still replays in your head years later, this episode is for you. Maybe you internalized someone’s rude comment about your nose being too big, and ever since that, it’s something you secretly fixate on. Or maybe someone did something to you, and you’ve carried that painful experience because you didn…

Are you scared of being “ordinary”? — as if that relegates you to the dull, low-achieving, not-living-life-to-the full bucket. Or maybe you’re afraid of failing, so you only do things you’re already good at. You’d love to take more risks, but only if you don’t look bad. Or maybe you’re scared of really shining bright, because that would mean you’re…

You’re someone who holds yourself to ridiculously high standards, and there’s a weird sort of pride in that. You’re known for going the extra mile. It’s helped to make you successful. What happens when the ideals that you hold yourself to become unsustainable? How do you reconcile the very human feelings that you’re experiencing with the image of w…

Do you ever notice that you’re completely clenched up? As in, your neck has gone missing. Your jaw is a vice grip. What IS it about the neck and jaw area? And I’m curious if this part of the body might be particularly “clenchy” for people with tendencies towards perfectionism and people pleasing. Is this area a proverbial lint trap for all the thin…

Today’s episode is a practical, fast-paced conversation about how to raise daughters who know how to be with their emotions. Maybe you were discouraged as a child from being angry, and were told things like, “Calm down” or “that’s not very lady-like” or “good girls don’t behave like that." My hope is that with more awareness, we can help to raise a…

You work for a challenging boss, and you’re struggling. You’ve tried working harder. You’ve tried working smarter. But you’re still feeling undermined, angry, and your self-belief is taking a nose-dive. As someone who “gets things right”, you just can’t figure this situation out – and secretly, it’s unravelling you. Enter Dr Laura Crawshaw. She’s b…

Let’s get real about your relationship with work. You’re praised for your stellar work ethic and revered for your awe-inspiring wins. But there’s a dark side to achieving that no one talks about. This episode probes that space. My guest is Dr Mark Goulston, a former professor of psychiatry at UCLA for 25 years, who also trained FBI and police in ho…

It’s hard to be playful when you feel the need to get things right. And yet, deep down, you’d love to lighten up. But it’s not that simple, is it? What if you try telling a joke, or striking up a social conversation, and it pancakes? The fear of looking stupid is kryptonite to levity. Fear not! I’ve called in the magical unicorns of playfulness (AN…

Welcome to the SCAM SHOW, a special edition of Enough, the podcast. In this solo episode, I’m talking about the scams that are shrinking down your joy, self-worth, and sense of possibility till your life is so teeny weeny that it fits inside of a match box. What are scams, you ask? They’re the beliefs that you’ve internalized over the years, that f…

Have you ever pushed down parts of yourself to fit in? I’m guessing we all have. What if you’re a person of colour? How does that complexify the story? Today’s guest is executive coach Kanchan Prinsloo. You’ll hear how Kanchan learned to fit in, because true belonging didn’t feel accessible to her – neither in society, nor in her own family. Kancha…

This episode is for anyone who manages their image during intimate moments. Maybe you aren’t fully in your body. Or you’re more concerned about being good enough (sexy enough, skilled enough…) than you are about dropping into true (often messy and unpredictable) intimacy. The “I must perform and be good at everything I do” includes sex and intimacy…

Can clothes and accessories help us to get to know ourselves better? Can style be an experimental tool for how we create and embody our sense of self in this season of our lives? Today’s guest, international stylist Anita Feron Clark, didn’t grow up feeling good enough. She was mercilessly bullied at school and criticized at home for being “too dar…

You push yourself too hard, too regularly, for too long. You’re use harsh inner self-talk to motivate yourself because, hey, it works and feels familiar. You’re incredibly successful, but you’re tired. Like bone tired. You secretly wonder how long this can go on…But you don’t think about it much, because day after day, you’re sucked into the vortex…

How does a confident, highly experienced senior executive end up in a hotel room, laying in the bathtub all night, fully clothed, having dragged the desk behind the door because she’s sure someone’s coming to hurt or kill her? This episode is about what it’s like working for a boss who’s a bully — and the effects that can have on our self-esteem, f…

Trigger Warning: This episode makes reference to severe childhood trauma Perfectionism is a typical addiction pattern, says today’s guest, Dr Shoshana Garfield. The pattern goes like this: If I can just do or get (fill in the blank with your chosen item or accomplishment), THEN I’ll be happy. Or at least less unhappy. The tragedy is that the fix, o…

Do you have the next-ies? Erm, the what? Say you’ve just aced a work project, and instead of pausing and reflecting how well you did, you’re already onto the next thing. Or you’ve just published a book. And you’re already outlining the next book, feeling flat that this one wasn’t an overnight New York Times best-seller. THIS one will be, for sure. …

If you have excessively high expectations of yourself, and you’re struggling to practice self-compassion (or slow down), this episode is for YOU. Today’s guest is Suzy Reading, psychologist, self-care advocate and author. I asked Suzy to create a tool kit for anyone who’s languishing right now, feeling depleted –though still trudging forward. Must.…

If you’re ridiculously hard on yourself, and deep down, you know it’s got to stop (but you don’t know how), today’s 17-minute episode is for you. I dig deeper into the concept of Minimum Viable Productivity (MVP) from last week’s episode with Dr Erin Baker. **Person at the back raises hand** (“Erm, I didn’t listen to Dr Erin yet. Will I be lost?”) …

Calling all overachievers! Ever wonder if your exceedingly high work ethic is your authentic way of functioning? Like really, really? Maybe it’s a series of beliefs that you internalized along the way. Maybe your whole system for “doing” is based on someone else’s fears – a parent’s, perhaps, who said things to you like, “You’ll amount to nothing w…

What can you do as a parent to help raise your kid with a robust sense of good-enoughness? I asked today’s guest, clinical psychologist, Dr Anne Lane, for some tips. Find out what to try when your child comes home with a poor test result, and they’re feeling down on themselves. This tip rocked my world! Learn how to help your kid cultivate a health…

When you’ve got no idea who you are or what you want, it complicates the heck out of intimate relationships. But, erm, maybe if you’re nice enough – meaning you become whoever a possible partner wants you to be – you’ll get the connection and sex you’re looking for, right? Unlikely. Today’s guest is coach and therapist Dr Sasha Mitrofanov, a man in…