Welcome to The Modesty Files! In this podcast, we’re diving into the world of Christian fundamentalism and interviewing women who have left their churches. Our podcast's goal is to "uncover" their experiences and provide a safe space for women to make sense of their complicated past and reflect on their journey toward recovery. If you are interested in being on the show, send us an email: info@themodestyfiles.com Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content.
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#42 - Two Sides of the Same Coin: Kathy and Christine, A Mother and Daughters Generational Divide in IBLP
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Today, we have a Modesty Files first as we welcome mother and daughter duo, Kathy and Christine to the show. Kathy and Christine journeyed through IBLP together throughout her daughter, Christine’s, formative years. Through their time at IBLP, both Kathy and Christine interacted with Bill Gothard, and in this episode, they detail the strange way Go…
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#41 - Where Are They Now: Unpacking April's Backpack
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On today’s “Where are They Now” special episode we’re speaking with April, one of our Season 2 guests. While her episode was released in 2021, we recorded with her in 2020. Since chatting, April has quit her job for good at a white evangelical church and is finally ready to share an additional piece of her story that she wasn’t ready to speak about…
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#40 - A Cycle of Abuse: How Christian Commitment Led Sarah to a Toxic Marriage
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Today we’re speaking with Sarah, who left the Church of Christ about a decade ago. After having an abortion at age 19, she felt so guilty that she vowed that the next person she would date she would marry. However, she ended up trapped in an abusive marriage. Their relationship started with love-bombing and eventually turned into heavy verbal abuse…
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#39 - The Return of Pastor "Granny" Jane: Billy's Perspective on his Toxic Pentecostal Community
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Content Warning: We spend a fair amount of time in this episode discussing suicide and abuse, which may be upsetting, so listener discretion is advised. We have a very special show for you today. In Season 2, we released an episode featuring Julie and the Pentecostal Community she grew up in. Julie’s congregation was run by a female pastor who memb…
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#38 - Risking it all for Christ: Anne Jisca's Dangerous Year as a Missionary in West Africa
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Today, we are speaking with Anne Jisca, a Canadian woman and former evangelical missionary. She participated in short-term mission trips as a teenager, and after getting married at 22, she and her husband, Josiah, pursued full-time missionary work all over the world. During that time, Anne Jisca gave birth to five children, and the pressure of bein…
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#37 - A Sinner’s Hell: Clarissa Details Her Upbringing Influenced by Michael and Debi Pearl’s Teachings in "To Train Up a Child"
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In this episode we discuss physical child abuse, sexual assault, suicide ideation, and other topics that may be upsetting, so listener discretion is advised. Today we’re speaking with Clarissa, who is here to share with us the fundamentalist teachings that were enforced in her home. Her parents were primarily influenced by Michael and Debi Pearl, w…
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#36 - Soft Were Her Curls: Allie Details IBLP and the Actions of Bill Gothard
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On today's episode, we're speaking with Allie, who is here to share with us her experience growing up influenced by the Advanced Training Institute. She spent most of her childhood focused on perfection, like following her parents' rules or protecting her purity. Her interactions with the organization’s leader, Bill Gothard, left her feeling uneasy…
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#35 - Shattering the Golden Plates: AnnaMarie Breaks Down the Mormon Church
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Today, we are speaking with AnnaMarie, a woman who has recently left the Mormon church. The Mormon church is one of the newest Christian denominations and also has one of the most unique origin stories. AnnaMarie was born into and grew up in the Mormon Church and accepted its customs as ordinary until she went off to college. She was committed to h…
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#34 - ...Or Your Girlfriend: Alex's Coming Out Journey with a Life Shaped Through Bob Jones University
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On today’s show, we’re speaking with Alex, a woman who was raised in United Pentecostal Church International. She attended an Independent Fundamentalist Baptist school whose practices were heavily influenced by its neighbor, Bob Jones University. She frequently visited the campus for sports and music recitals, and had to follow all of the required …
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#33 - Deconstructing with an Audience: Lindsey of TikTok's @cultchronicals Shares Her Experience with Bill Gothard and IBLP - Part Two
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Today we’re continuing our conversation with Lindsey. Last week, she shared with us was it was like growing in ATI culture and working with Bill Gothard at Headquarters for the Advanced Training Institute. If you haven’t listened to Part One, we highly recommend going back to hear Lindsey's story from the beginning. Lindsey is going to share with u…
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#32 - Deconstructing with an Audience: Lindsey of TikTok's @cultchronicals Shares Her Experience with Bill Gothard and IBLP - Part One
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Welcome to SEASON THREE of The Modesty Files! On today's episode, we're speaking with Lindsey, a former member of Advanced Training Institute, the infamous homeschool curriculum created by Bill Gothard. While we know our guest as Lindsey, for those on TikTok, you may know her as at @cultchronicles. Looking for something to do at the start of quaran…
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#31 - Where Are They Now: Lydia's New Life as a Wife and How She Reshaped Her Views on Marriage
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On today’s “Where are they now” special episode we’re talking with one of our season 1 guests, Lydia. She was the first one to introduce us to Christian purity culture and Josh Harris's book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” Lydia shared with us last year that she had yet to have her first kiss, and while we’ll let Lydia share with us what she has been up…
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#30 - Where Are They Now: Angela’s Transformational Year Since Speaking Out
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On today’s “Where are They Now” special episode we’re talking with Angela, who was a guest in Season 1. She comes from a Pentecostal background and taught us all about the church’s rituals, such as healing and speaking in tongues, her experience being a pastor’s kid, and what it means to take a “liberal” stance on sex education and morals. We highl…
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#29 - Jenni's Coming Out Story Part Two: Life on Guam, Conversion Therapy, and the Decade after Leaving Fundamentalism
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Today we’re continuing our conversation with Jenni, an alum from Bob Jones University. If you haven’t listened to Part One, we highly recommend going back to hear Jenni's story from the beginning. She explained to us many of the rules enforced by the school and how challenging it was for Jenni to come out as a queer. Jenni going to share with us wh…
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#28 - Jenni's Coming Out Story Part One: The Bob Jones's Handbook and Experiences with Anti-LGBTQA+ Practices
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Today we are speaking with Jenni, an alum from Bob Jones University, a private, non-denominational evangelical university in Greenville, South Carolina. It is known for its conservative cultural and religious positions. At Bob Jones, Jenni had to abide by strict rules enforced by the school, like a bell that rang at 11 pm and 7 am for mandatory bed…
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#27 - Redefining Womanhood: How Nick Embraced Her Identity as a Queer Woman
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On today’s episode, we’re joined by Nick, a former member of the Church of the Brethren. Growing up, Nick expressed many questions about her non-denominational faith and religious practices. She had a hard time performing the role she had to play for the church community. As queer person, Nick struggle with the church’s required head covering, dres…
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#26 - Slow Boil Persuasion: Martina's Fall into the Mormon Church
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Welcome back to the second episode of our Pride Month celebration series. Today we’re speaking with Martina, a queer woman from Belgum who’s going to share with us her unique experience with the Mormon church. After a traumatic incident as a teen, Martina was searching for a community of people. She encountered a group of Mormon missionaries and he…
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#25 - From ATI to Bob Jones University: Elizabeth Hunter's Battle to Change Anti-LGBTQA+ Policies
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Today is the first episode of our Pride Month celebration series. We’re bringing to you five incredible episodes from people in the LGBTQA+ community who have left fundamentalism. We’re kicking off our series with an interview with Elizabeth Hunter, or @ThatLizHunter for those who know her from Instagram and TikTok. Elizabeth has spent the last yea…
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#24 - Rewriting the Past: Halt's White-Washed Education in History and Politics
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Today’s guest is Halt and he’s going to share with us his male perspective of what it was like attending a Non-denominational Christian school in Las Vegas. From Kindergarten through 12th grade, Halt was immersed in Christianized education. He received very little sex education and participated in purity banquets, pledging that they would maintain …
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#23 - The IBLP Umbrella in the Land Down Under: Kez’s Life as a Pastor’s Kid
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On today's episode, we're speaking with Kez, who joins us all the way from the other side of the world in Australia. She is here today to share with us her experience growing up in the Independent Baptist church, and how the Advanced Training Institute homeschool curriculum was implemented in her home. Growing up as a pastor's kid, Kez faced the pr…
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#22 - The Domino Effect: An Inside Look at Josh Duggar's Arrest and the Complexities of Leaving Abuse
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This episode involves topics of physical and sexual abuse and other mature themes. Listener discretion is advised. On April 29th, Josh Duggar, the oldest son of the TLC reality show family was arrested by federal authorities and now faces charges of possessing depictions of sexual abuse of children, some of whom were under the age of 12. In respons…
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#21 - "The Daughters" - Deep Dive Into the Stay At Home Daughter Movement with Joanna Adams
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Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfiles Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content. Today we are speaking with Joanna Adams, the producer and director of “The Daughters,” an upcoming audio documentary exploring the Stay at Home Daughter movement. This movement focuses on the idea that daughters should never lea…
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#20 - Girl, You're a Missionary: April's Divine Calling to Study at the Masters Commission
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Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfiles Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content. This episode contains mature language so listener discretion is advised. On today’s episode, we’re speaking with April who was raised in the Pentecostal denomination known as Assemblies of God. After being told by a preacher it …
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#19 - The Writing on the Wall: Charity's Life as a Branhamism Message Believer
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Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfiles Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content. Today we are speaking with Charity Wottrich, a Christian author, who grew up in a homeschooled family in rural Pennsylvania and is 8th out of 13 children. Growing up, she belonged to a Branhamism Church. This institution was fou…
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#14a - Back Pocket Minisode - Bernie Discusses Her Dating Standards
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Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfiles Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content. We're taking a brief break this week so that we can continue working on amazing episodes for you all. But we have some extra bonus content. We've received so many requests for more content from our season two opener, Bernie. Enj…
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#18 - A Lady No Longer Against Feminism - Lyndall's Gateway into Fundamentalism
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Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfiles Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content. Today we are speaking Lyndall, a woman who entered into the world of fundamentalism by her own choice as a teenager. After experiencing mental health challenges at 13, she discovered that Christian media offered her an escape fr…
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#17 - Dorm Room Confessions: How Kristin and Tripp Found Love at a Church of Christ University
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Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/themodestyfiles Follow us on Instagram @themodestyfiles for updates and bonus content. In today’s episode, we have not one, BUT TWO guests, Kristin and Tripp! This awesome couple met at Abilene Christian University, a private Christian university in Texas affiliated with the Church of Christ. Growing up within the…
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#16 - Beneath the Umbrella: Victoria Details the Teachings of ATI, Bill Gothard's Homeschool Curriculum
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Today we are talking to Victoria. a former member of the Institute in Basic life Principles or IBLP. This organization was founded by Bill Gothard and is most known as the system of beliefs that TLC’s Dugger family subscribes to. As a kid. Victoria was homeschooled using the Advanced Training Institute curriculum, a “biblically-based” homeschool pr…
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#15 - Inside Julie’s Pentecostal Community and Their Mass Exodus Out of Pastor Jane’s Control
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Julie joins us today, ready to share experience growing up in a fundamentalist Pentecostal church in the south. Julie’s story is quite unique, as her congregation was run by a female pastor who we will refer to as Jane. Younger members of the community were asked to call her “Granny.” She preached the Armageddon and practiced speaking in tongues. B…
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#14 - Thirty, UnFlirty, but Trying: Bernie's Quick Explosion Out of Purity Culture
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Our first guest of the season is Bernie, who is a former member of both the baptist church community and the non-denominational charismatic church in the midwest. She is going to share with us her experience with Christian Purity Culture. To give some context “Purity culture” is a Christian movement that promotes a biblical view of sexual purity by…
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#13 - Thriving Forward: Emily’s Fight for Justice Against IBLP and Bill Gothard - Part Two
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Today we’re continuing our conversation with Emily Elizabeth Anderson, a Christian blogger, and activist for people who have experienced abuse within a Christian environment. If you haven’t listened to Part One, we highly recommend going back to hear Emily’s story from the beginning. Emily shared with us her experience growing up as a member of the…
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#12 - Thriving Forward: Emily’s Fight for Justice Against IBLP and Bill Gothard - Part One
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This week on The Modesty Files, please help us give a warm welcome to our special guest, Christian blogger, and rising activist, Emily Elizabeth Anderson. Growing up in the Insitute in Basic Life Principles, in Part One, Emily reveals life as a teenager in the church and how the church handled her chronic illness. She then details her first-hand ex…
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#11 - It's the End of the World as Melanie Knew It: Life as a Jehovah's Witness
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We are diving into new territory this week on The Modesty Files as Melanie walks us through her family's transition into the world of Jehovah's Witnesses. Melanie remembers celebrating her birthday in the 5th grade, but as her family fell deeper into the church, all celebrations of any kind had to cease. Her life became focused on biding her time a…
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#10 - Judith's Sperm Won the Race: Life at a Christian Summer Camp
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Grab your sleeping bag and oversized tye-dyed t-shirts! We are going back in time to summer camp in this episode of The Modesty Files. We interview Judith, who spent her childhood summers at a Canadian Christian summer camp. While this camp provides good teachings as a child, the teachings grew toxic as the campers grew into young adults. When Judi…
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#9 - No Longer Bound4Life: Angela’s Life in Pentecostalism
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As requested, we are diving into Pentecostalism in today's episode. We speak to Angela, a former member who explains the church's belief system rooted in spiritual healing and speaking in tongues. Raised as a Pentecostal, Angela describes the hurtful ramifications of these beliefs as the church claimed her scoliosis was healed despite any medical e…
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#8 - The Princess and the Kiss - How Lydia Kissed Fundamentalism Goodbye
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In today's episode, we are so thrilled to be speaking with Lydia, who was raised as a member of the Sovereign Grace Church. This church denomination is a new one for us here at The Modesty Files, so Lydia outlines the church's practices and expectations. She describes life as a homeschooler and a full time stay at home daughter for her younger sibl…
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#7 - Beth's Escape from Church of Christ and Her Tumblr Happily Ever After
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In this episode, we interview Beth, a former member of the Church of Christ. If you haven't heard of CoC, Beth will walk us through the ins and out of this religious community. Most outside communication was strictly forbidden, so when Beth discovered Tumblr, she began developing a life outside of her family bubble. Beth shares how the blog site he…
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#6 - "Ring by Spring" at Liberty University: Marie and the Evangelical College
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In this episode, we are thrilled to speak with Marie, who comes from a fundamentalist southern baptist background. After being homeschooled her entire K-12 years, Marie eventually attended one of the most well-known and highly controversial Christian Evangelical colleges, Liberty University. Marie has major insight into what it was like to attend t…
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#5 - Navigating the Gray: A Childhood Influenced by "People of Praise"
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In this episode, Zoe interviews a former member of Servants of the Light, which was a religious group in 1970s that folded into the currently controversial group People of Praise. The group's belief system is rooted in the Catholic Pentecostal movement, and members are required to sign a lifetime covenant vow. Their practices include praying in ton…
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#4 - Finding Freedom in Divorce with Kayla
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In this episode, we are thrilled to speak with Kayla who comes from a fundamentalist Baptist background, specifically The General Association of Regular Baptist Churches or for short, GARB-C. Kayla’s experience with fundamentalism is slightly different though from the other women we have interviewed so far. She attended public school, hung out with…
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#3 - Behind The Office Door: Liz and IBLP - Part Two
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In the second part of our interview with Liz, a former member of the Institute in Basic Life Principals, she shares how she began working at the IBLP headquarters as a teenager. She also walks us through her experiences with the church's infamous leader Bill Gothard. If you haven't listened to part one of Liz's interview, we highly recommend going …
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#2 - Behind The Office Door: Liz and IBLP - Part One
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In Part One of this two-part series, we speak to Liz, a former member of the Institute In Basic Life Principles, where TLC’s reality TV family the Duggars are active members. They hold strict modesty standards for women, limit outside worldly influences, and follow intense dating and relationship rules. As a teenager, Liz worked at the Advanced Tra…
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In this podcast, we speak with Shelly, who grew up in an Independent Fundamental Baptist church. Growing up, Shelly dreamed of pursuing missionary work, becoming a pastor's wife, and having numerous children. She attended a private school in the IFB community. However, during her years as a student, she became very wary of their questionable teachi…
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PILOT: Laura's "Journey to the Heart" with IBLP and Bill Gothard
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In this pilot episode of The Modesty Files, we speak with Laura, who was not born into the cult, but joined The Institute in Basic Life Principles on her own free will as a teenager. Laura talks about what drew her to their religion, her experience at IBLP’s conference "Journey to the Heart" and of course how many jean skirts she owned. If you are …
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