Best Vern Tompke Podcasts (2024)

1
337 - My 12 Provocations Pt. 2 with Vern Tompke 1:14:21

23d ago1:14:21

1:14:21

In the second of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as we complete this list of 12 provocations designed to challenge your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/337 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) …

51
339 - Are You Still In the Porn Bubble? 30:41

6d ago30:41

30:41

Men use porn because they like the effect produced by it. The elusive sensation changes our state while we are using it. It provides a timely escape from our present reality. And even though we have taken steps to stop using porn we often are still are looking for the escape. I call this the bubble. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredma…

1
Ep. 135 - Letter to Me 14:10

10d ago14:10

14:10

What if you could write a letter to the younger version of yourself? What would you say? In this episode Vern introduces the idea of writng a letter to the future you - towards a specific recovery application. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly …

1
338 - I'm not a bad person getting good, I'm a sick person getting well (a PFR Listener Story) 39:16

13d ago39:16

39:16

On this episode, Matt shares a PFR listener story from Aaron C. who got hope from Porn Free Radio and took action by joining a 12-step fellowship. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/338 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/…

1
Ep. 134 - Its Finally Done! 13:46

17d ago13:46

13:46

Remember what it's like to walk out of the final exam of your degree or finish a project you have been working on for years? Today Vern shares is sense of accomplishment regarding a recovery project he has been laboring over for the last few years. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothe…

1
Ep. 133 - Help I Act Out Every ??? Days 18:24

17d ago18:24

18:24

Many guys express that they have noticed that their acting out tends to be cyclical and regular. They often feel that they come up to a wall that they cannot get over in terms of days clean. in this episode Vern talks about how to ovecome these embedded walls that have tripped us up. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear…

1
Ep. 88 - Father's Day - How to Be a Good and Safe Man 44:01

23d ago44:01

44:01

This last Sunday Vern spoke on Sunday morning on how men can move from being an *ss to being good and safe men - something women, our churches and our communities desperately need more of. If you are looking for a safe person to talk about your Sexual struggles - Vern gets it - as a Pastor for 30 years Vern has battled porn as a pastor and didn't h…

1
Ep. 132 - I'll Die Without Sex! 14:50

25d ago14:50

14:50

Most peoople who struggle with porn actually believe some version of the mistaken belief "I'll die without sex" In this episode Vern explores how that belief may be closer to home than you care to admit. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly findin…

1
Ep. 131 - A Strategy for Sunny Days 18:41

29d ago18:41

18:41

In this episode Vern shares a useful tool to be more strategic in how you handle this coming summer. If you want a copy of this weekly planning tool email him at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com and put the word weekly tool in the subject line. Another way to get the tool is to go to the website https://bandofbrothers.care and click the free stuff tab…

1
336 - My 12 Provocations Pt. 1 with Vern Tompke 1:01:05

1M ago1:01:05

1:01:05

My book, Porn Free: Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look At Porn, is known for its provocative statement, “Porn is not the problem for us. It's the solution.” In the first of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as I share 12 more provocations aimed at challenging your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here…

1
Ep. 130 - Platform Arcade Recovery 18:22

1M ago18:22

18:22

One of the biggest strategic challenges in our recovery is dealing with the many transitions we face. In this episode I look at the challenges of these transitions - both big and small. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups …

1
Ep. 129 - The Art of War (Losing and Regaining your Territory) 17:17

1M ago17:17

17:17

Do you ever feel like the enemy is seeking to push past your borders and take ground that should be rightfully yours. Today we use the example of the war in Ukraine as an example of the steps we need to take to regain lost territory in our life. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.…

1
Ep. 87 - Quit Your Grovelling 17:07

1M ago17:07

17:07

By Vern Tompke

1
Ep. 86 - The Hardest Sermon You'll Ever Give 24:09

2M ago24:09

24:09

In this episode Vern answers the question - what is the hardest sermon you'll ever give? I truly believe this episode is crucial to both listen to and keep in your constant awareness as a pastor. If it helpful for you - pass it on! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about your sexual struggles - you can get ahold of …

1
Ep. 85 - Seasons of Susceptibility 29:34

2M ago29:34

29:34

As I talk and work with pastors I have noticed that there are 3 seasons of vulnearabilitywhere patterns of sexual brokenness seem to emerge in our lives. In this episode I lay out those seasons and take the approach to be fore-warned is to be for-armed! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about your sexual struggles -…

1
335 - PFR 10th Anniversary Show 1:06:32

2M ago1:06:32

1:06:32

Join Matt and Sam Dobschuetz as they read listener letters celebrating 10 years of Porn Free Radio. Take hope and take action! Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/335 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the boo…

1
Ep. 128 - My Favorite Recovery Practice 22:24

2M ago22:24

22:24

My favorite recovery practise is actually an ancient spiritual practise that helps me throughout the day ... it actually was best taught by a Catholic dishwasher hundreds of years ago - take a listen... If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding…

1
334 - Whole vs. Broken 41:07

2M ago41:07

41:07

Do you see yourself as broken or an addict? Then this episode is for you. Over the last 10 years, I have had a shift in my thinking; I have moved away from diagnosing and pathologizing porn behaviors (disease model.) And I moved towards a choice/ownership model. I invite the guys I work with to examine their choices, define problematic behaviors, d…

1
333 - Honesty vs. Hiding 36:14

3M ago36:14

36:14

Before recovery, I lived a divided life. I hid anything I found unacceptable from my friends and family including my problematic porn use. On the surface, I presented a "nice guy" version of myself to be liked and accepted. It was exhausting and painfully lonely. In recovery, my why is "to be the same on the inside as on the outside." But this requ…

1
Ep. 84 - Examination and Confession 38:53

3M ago38:53

38:53

This last Sunday Vern spoke at church regarding the spiritual step of self examiniation and confession. As pastors struggling with our sexual brokenness - it provides a crucial "powerpoint" that is available to us as we see to walk toward a life of healing and wholeness. If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about your …

1
Ep. 127 - How we do Life 20:36

3M ago20:36

20:36

When most of us started recovery we thought we needed to just tweak a few things so that stopped our problematic porn patterns. What we soon find, however, is that recovery is a window into the disfynctional way we have been doing our lives and a springboard into a whole new set into new life patterns! If you are looking for a safe place to turn to…

1
332 - Fact vs. Fear 54:48

3M ago54:48

54:48

We've all heard the phrase, “Fact vs. Fiction.” But a friend of mine said it should be “Fact vs. Fear.” It's fear that often leads us to our escapism and avoidance with porn. This is part 7 in our new series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/332 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you…

1
Ep. 126 - Porn Drive versus Sex Drive 27:12

3M ago27:12

27:12

Is our porn drive the same as our sex drive? In this episode Vern explores the differences between the two and how returning to our normal sex drive is the goal of our porn recovery. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer both weekly finding traction groups usi…

1
331 - Calm vs. Stress 47:22

3M ago47:22

47:22

Is stress based on our perception or is it objective? That was question we discussed in a recent REV group. The stressful situations guys described had one surprising thing in common. And it might change the way you look at stress. On this episode, we break down stress and examine what helps us return to calm. This is part 6 in our series, The Choi…

1
Ep. 83 - Sitting in Your Sin 25:08

3M ago25:08

25:08

Most of us seek to deny, hide, run from or rail agains the sin which dogs our steps. In this episode Vern proposes a counter intuitive approach that he believes will actually result in better results - sitting in our sin! If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about your sexual struggles - you can get ahold of Vern at ba…

1
330 - Recovery vs. Relapse 53:39

3M ago53:39

53:39

“You're either working on recovery or you're working on relapse” ― Old guy at my recovery meeting Coach Vern Tompke sits in on Porn Free Radio to talk about the line between recovery and relapse. This is part 5 in our series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/330 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 wa…

1
Ep. 125 - Recovery Drift 18:13

3M ago18:13

18:13

Anybody who has been at porn recovery for a while can identify with the natural drift that can take place. When we take our hands off the steering wheel - this drift can lead us into the ditch or into oncoming traffic! If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com We offer bot…

1
329 - Consistency vs. Intensity 30:44

4M ago30:44

30:44

MMA coach, Firas Zahabi, emphasizes that consistency in training beats intensity. Consistency is where we build skill and endurance without burning out. And our training volume over time leads to mastery. This powerful concept can be applied to our recovery. This is part 4 in our series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://re…

1
Ep. 82 - Wide Open Spaces 14:12

4M ago14:12

14:12

The theme of wide open spaces is one that Scriptural writers come back to over and over again. In this episode Vern puts on his bible teaching hat and relates to how this concept relates to our desire to walk away from porn and experience the best life that God has for us. If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn to to talk about you…

1
328 - Skills vs. Willpower 42:35

4M ago42:35

42:35

When you started recovery, the challenge was overwhelming (high) and your skill level was low. And chances are if you have not significantly changed your habits, the challenge feels about the same. For a long time the only tool in your tool box was willpower. Some version of "JUST SAY NO." But often willpower is easily exhausted. It gives out when …

1
Ep. 124 - 3D Relapses 15:16

4M ago15:16

15:16

Most of us would like to reverse engineer our last relapse so it doesn't happen again. In this episode Vern looks at the idea of 3 different dimensions of a relapse and how to reverse anticipate what will take place when we are drawn to porn the next time. In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who su…

1
327 - Solution vs. Problem 38:05

4M ago38:05

38:05

“Porn is not the problem for us,” I write in my book. “It’s the solution.” It may feel like the problem in your life that needs to be fixed. But if you’re using porn there is a need that is driving it. It’s a solution. This is part 2 in our series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/327 PLUS: Whenever you're…

1
Ep. 123 - Recovery Doldrums 18:03

4M ago18:03

18:03

What happens when life feels "Meh..." Today we talk about the term recovery doldrums - the feeling that you could use a pick me up to compensate for feeling "off". In today's lesson we also introduce our brand new Finding Traction Community for those who subscribe for $10/month. On the last Sunday night of each month we will be offering our subscri…

1
326 - Owner vs. Victim 47:45

4M ago47:45

47:45

Author Steve Chandler often says there are two types of people in the world; owners and victims. Victims see themselves as victims of their situation or circumstance. Life happens to them. Owners on the hand while they can't control every situation and circumstance, they control their reaction to any situation. Learning the habits of thinking like …

1
Ep. 122 - The Critical Stages of Recovery 30:03

4M ago30:03

30:03

Is there as way to look at our recovery in a series of stages. In this episode Vern looks at some of the stages common to recovery, how we can get stuck at any one stage, and how we can proceed to truly walking a life of freedom and blessing. If you are looking for a safe place to turn to - I'd love to hear from you - my email is bandofbrothers.car…

1
Ep. 81 - Do Churches really celebrate recovery? 19:56

5M ago19:56

19:56

It has become quite common for churches to dip their toes into the stream of recovery groups. In this episode Vern explores the difference between a church offering recovery programs and a church actually becoming a recovery church where people can acknowledge and grow out of their brokenness. If you as a pastor are looking for a safe place to turn…

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