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Arts & Seizures

Heritage Radio Network

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Arts & Seizures is Heritage Radio’s rogue child, a rambunctious, unfiltered talk and variety show featuring a wide range of high-minded miscreants and rock’n’roll outlaws. Guests include dipsomaniac journalists and James Beard-award winners, comedians, art stars, pro wrestlers, punk rockers, and rule breakers of every stripe. Hosted by notorious author, X-rated raconteur, and internationally known provocateur Mike Edison, Arts & Seizures is indeed the “Fastest Half-Hour on the Internet Today.”
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Consummate Professionals

Half Hearted Productions

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'Consummate Professionals' is a new audio sitcom (scripted fiction podcast) set in an independent adult film studio under new management that aims to make pornography progressive. Follow the mis-adventures of the virtuous and neurotic manager Angela, the fastidious and pretentious artistic director Wallace, the hyper-intelligent and cynical star Cindy, and Lloyd the randy camera man. Through their rocky beginnings as a team, they overcome hubris, turmoil, identity politics, and the forces of ...
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Episode 8 - The More The Merrier 36:29

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Send us a Text Message. The season 1 finale sees the return of the studio's previous owner, who has brought a diabolical plan to flourish his hedonistic tendencies in the extreme. Meanwhile Angela and Caroline find a compromise to maintain their relationship, but will their strength endure the shock of what awaits them tonight at Consummate Profess…
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Episode 7 - Transgression 30:26

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Send us a Text Message. Frankenstein is on the cards for the creative team at Consummate Professionals, and both Angela and Lloyd are beyond approach with overwhelming emotional discord. Can Wallace maintain balance during such turbulent times? Or will the arrival of trans porn star Sammy Blake throw a spanner into the works? Who will be the first …
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Episode 6 - The Incredulous Bulk 27:24

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Send us a Text Message. It's Caroline's birthday and her wish is to be toured through Angela's studio, despite their schedule for today. The remarkable Alan Phallus, biggest p***s in the UK, and the worst voice in the world, for a worship fetish video. Meanwhile Lloyd and Amy are trying to wrangle a tiny runaway rodent without ruining either the sh…
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Episode 5 - Thrills and Phils 28:55

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Send us a Text Message. Angela's first official production is on today's menu, making the first homosexual male presentation the studio has ever had. Wallace however is left bereft and heart broken when Cindy is brought forward to direct in his place, what scheme of redemption will he rope the off-set crew into? And what will Cindy do with creative…
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Episode 4 - Chivalry Will Get You Nowhere 28:46

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Send us a Text Message. It's a new day at Consummate Professionals, and Wallace is enamoured with their special guest Ken Starz, famed for his smooth and charismatic nature that wins everyone over, except his supposed conquest for the day; Cindy, who may have had enough of the porn star life... Can anyone rectify the situation? Angela? Lloyd? The c…
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Episode 1 - Regime Change 28:36

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Send us a Text Message. The first day at work in a new job can be tense at the best of times, but for the new owner of an adult film studio, it is practically a minefield. Angela Whittle is the new owner and manager of 'Consummate Professionals', taking on it's resident staff and projects, with only the support of her loving wife Caroline to keep h…
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Episode 2 - Special Delivery 24:16

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Send us a Text Message. Wallace's latest production, the classic 'pizza delivery' routine, has been given notes to make it more accessible and less dated, much to his displeasure. Meanwhile Angela is interviewing new potential crew, including Lloyd's close mate Gavin who brings more to the table than anticipated. The shoot of the day endures argume…
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Episode 3 - S&M Mess 27:48

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Send us a Text Message. Angela has conflicting feelings about the return of the startling Madam Bosom, who has returned to the studio to do what she does best, causing Angela to be more than a little distracted. Wallace and Lloyd do their best to moderate, but with Cindy having a well earned day off, can the studio hold on without her? And can Cind…
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Episode 250: THE LAST RADIO SHOW 34:20

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Edison and Zaremba put on their fancy clothes for a set with their full-tilt blues orkestra Sharky & The Count feat. members of Brooklyn's finest, Daddy Long Legs! Joined by a bevy of beautiful women, they crank out their greatest hits, take a ride down memory lane (crazy cat ladies, the Rolling Stones, and the odds of actually surviving one of the…
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Episode 249: THE LEGENDARY LOST MR. AIRPLANE MAN SESSION! 20:46

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Finally recovered from the Arts & Seizures sharkives is this jewel of blues and trouble! Originally recorded July 30, 2017, this episode was plagued with technical difficulties and thought to be unrecoverable... it took HRN's best engineer and Edison's personal touch to restore this show, but there was no way we were going out without taking it to …
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Episode 248: GOSPEL, BLUES, & COCAINE - THE NEXT TO THE NEXT TO THE LAST SHOW! 31:03

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Sharky and the Count skirt the edge of sanity with this blast of church-going good-time gospel, Bushwick blues, and an existential conversation about drugs, Spanish money, and the environment (no more plastic straws!) You will laugh and you will cry, Dave the Engineer certainly did. JUST SAY YES!!!!!! Arts & Seizures is going out with a bang, yo. A…
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Episode 247: SUPERSTAR BOB BERT! 30:10

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DONT CALL IT A COMEBACK!!!! On episode 247 Bob Bert (Sonic Youth, Pussy Galore, Lydia Lunch) makes his record breaking 1,000,000th appearance!!!!!! Featuring a HARD HITTING INTERVIEW that RIPS THE SHEETS off of Bob's storied career!!!!! We give JON SPENCER's new single DO THE TRASH CAN a twirl, discuss the proper place for power tools in pop music,…
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Episode 246: IT'S SUMMER... AND YOU ARE BEING SERVED! 32:14

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Edison and Zaremba are joined by heavyweight lawyer Blaine Bortnick who proves lawyers do have a sense of humor by (A) Keeping Edison out of jail and (b) Telling a pretty good Donald Trump joke. He also puts up with us. Featuring music by the Troggs and some homespun blues, the countdown to 250 continues! Arts & Seizures is powered by Simplecast.…
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Episode 243: Hangover Party with Elvis and the Cramps! 31:30

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Edison drags himself to the radio station and somehow manages to hold it together long enough to celebrate Father's Day (Daddy Rolling Stone), and pay tribute to Elvis's drummer DJ Fontana, as well as the Cramps' legendary stickman Nick Knox, both of whom left the planet this week.... plus, Zaremba sings about being in jail, ironically, where these…
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Episode 241: Chefs, Drugs, and Rock & Roll 33:56

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LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN! Today's show — starring popular rock group the FLESHTONES, and special guest Chefs, Drugs, and Rock & Roll author Andrew Friedman — is episode No 241, which gives us just TEN MORE till we hit 250 and our FINAL SHOW!!! Be part of the excitement, LIVE today at 2 PM Brooklyn Time.... listen on Heritage Radio Network or find us…
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Episode 240: North To Alasksa 31:50

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NORTH TO ALASKA! Episode No 240 begins our countdown to our 250th and final show! Today we welcome bestselling author Mark Adams who previously helped us search for Atlantis, producing one of the most ridiculous renditions of any song, ever! Hopefully we'll do better today as we celebrate Seward's Folly, Johnny Horton, and Mark's new book, The Tip …
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Episode 237: SEX, DRUGS, and SCIENCE!!!! 37:11

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Edison and Zaremba welcome Corey S. Powell (the "S" is for "Science") to their crypt for a high-minded show especially for the nerds in the audience! Corey is the head writer for Bill Nye the Science Guy's Netflix series and a celebrated science journalist... but more importantly he is a Fleshtones fan! We talk about the science behind "Wessonality…
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Episode 236: Simon Chardiet - You ain't no punk you punk! 40:45

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Today on ARTS & SEIZURES we get tougher than tough with New York legend, the mighty SIMON CHARDIET!! Simon pours grease on the fire, peeling off punk rock, bebop, and avant-jump-jive and blast-a-billy for this historic hootenanny featuring Fleshtone MC Peter Zaremba’s well-oiled crooning and Mr. Edison throwing down a ton of rhythm, alternately ban…
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Episode 235: THE RETURN OF SHARKY & THE COUNT 31:24

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Today on ARTS & SEIZURES it’s the RETURN OF SHARKY & THE COUNT! There may be snow on the roof, but there is fire in the furnace! Pete brings the taste, Edison brings the flavor, and together they ask the musical question, do two half-wits form a wit?? Arts & Seizures is powered by SimplecastBy Heritage Radio Network
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Episode 233: JOANNA ANGEL 32:16

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TODAY LIVE on ARTS & SEIZURES we're shaking up the squares when adult film star JOANNA ANGEL joins us for some frank talk about sex, punk rock, politics, and not least of all, her new book!!!! Joanna is a nice Jewish girl from New Jersey who found her calling in Brooklyn, so we have lots to talk about....Hot stuff! Arts & Seizures is powered by Sim…
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Episode 232: SHARKY GOES SOLO! PORK, PUNK ROCK...and MAD MAGAZINE!!!! 32:26

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Today's Arts & Seizures is a rainy day jewel — 30 mins of punk rock and protest, plus the record that is literally the BOTTOM OF THE BUCKET... The Count Peter Zaremba is in Spain with the Fleshtones, so Sharky is going solo... tune in for songs about chicken, pork, and war, plus Mad Magazine's greatest hits!!! Can yer heart stand it??? Arts & Seizu…
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Episode 231: La Dolce Vita 34:23

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It's Wine and Song on Arts & Seizures today when Sharky & the Count Welcome Jeff Porter, head of beverages for the B&B Hospitality Group (including Babbo and Del Posto in NY, Mozza in LA, and countless others)... We're talking Italy, underrated grapes, cocktail secrets of the stars.. and there will be singing! Much singing! We're counting down to o…
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Episode 229: GO-GO GOSPEL CRAZY SHOW – LOVE, PROTEST, and PREACHIN’! 30:39

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For the first time ever we go down that lonesome road of playing records and talkin’ in-between! Sharky goes solo, jockeying discs and raising the roof!! Featured: Rock’n’roll sermons, gospel choirs, twisted spirituals... plus Mr. Airplane Man, Reagan Youth, and the Edison Rocket Train throwing down the shakin’ beat!!! THIS IS NOW MUSIC FOR NOW PEO…
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Episode 228: Thanksgiving Wine Tasting 38:54

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Our annual T-Giving wine tasting w James Beard award winner (and James Brown fan) Jean Luc Le Du and punk rockin' restaurateur Erin Norris of the fab Grindhaus! Plus.... Peter Zaremba is back after our triumphant tour of SoHo WITH A WORLD FLESHTONES DEBUT!!!! All this and Edison shreds on the Space Drum!!!! Can yer heart stand it??? Arts & Seizures…
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Episode 227: HALLOWEEN 32:13

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THIS JUST IN!! Joining our merry band of trick or treaters today on ARTS & SEIZURES is the ghoul of our dreams, the Queen of the Mad Monster Hop, Miss Miriam Linna!!! We're coming back from the the beyond with a graveyard smash!!! Count Peter Zaremba promises to sing in a language not his own, and the spooktacular Lucy O'Reilly is going to tell us …
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Episode 226: HEAVY METAL DAY 37:11

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It's HEAVY METAL DAY on ARTS & SEIZURES!!!!!! Get ready to shred your brain and melt your face with such Giants of Heavy Metal as producer, journalist, snake charmer, and co-author of LOUDER THAN HELL, Katherine Turman; God of Thunder, Dictator's bassman, and newly minted radio host Dean Rispler; and our secret weapon - for you brainiac headbangers…
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Episode 222: SUMMERTIME BLUES! 32:37

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Agent provocateur Mike Edison is joined by the Duke of Greenpoint Peter Zaremba and a cavalcade of stars for this mid-summer explosion of minds and bodies! Starring Cristina Martinez and Jon Spencer of popular rock band Boss Hog, plus Beatnik No. 1, the unsinkable Bob Bert!!! Musical numbers include a Pussy Galore classic and the most revolting ver…
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Episode 220: Pornography, Politics, and Pizza with Legendary Illustrator and Provocateur Danny Hellman 35:45

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THIS SUNDAY on Arts & Seizures I'm going mano-a-mano with the great Danny Hellman, as fine an illustrator (and outspoken lunatic) as has ever been coughed up by the sewer that is our city. We'll be celebrating his outstanding new book RESURRECTION PERVERTS: HUNTER'S POINT, but also kvetching, kvelling, and kibitizing about our shared experience at …
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Episode 218: ROCKNROLL NOMADS OF THE NORTH!!! 33:00

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Today on Arts & Seizures, the intrepid duo of Edison and Zaremba are back from their global expeditions with shocking tales of adventure!!! If you are looking for the Lewis and Clark of understatement - go somewhere else!!!! But if eating a pizza while wearing a pith helmet turns you on, then tune in live 2 PM Brooklyn time!!!…
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Episode 212: DENIZ TEK (RADIO BIRDMAN): CRAZY BLUES, PUNK ROCK, and WRESTLING 32:33

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Book'em Danno! It's an embarrassment of riches starring the legendary DENIZ TEK of RADIO BIRDMAN who churns out four white-hot numbers with Fleshtones maestro Pete Zaremba and your host with the most, Mike Edison! Joining them is the mad professor of pro wrestling Keith Elliot Greenberg - get ready for deep blues, ugly comedy, and the third best ve…
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