186 - Sadness Vs. Suffering Replay

Be You Podcast

Sadness and suffering are often used synonymously. They’re the same thing, right? No, they’re not. I am approaching this darker topic today because a recent Instagram poll hit a nerve. We all feel pain and sadness. And yes, we all suffer. But we choose to suffer. Sounds harsh, I know. I’ve been there often. So often, in fact, that suffering became my identity. I share this odd phenomenon with you in today’s episode. The strange comfort we find in suffering.

With the uncertain times we are experiencing right now and with the holidays coming up, this topic is so important. We all need to be aware of the distinction between sadness and suffering. You and I get to decide everyday whether or not we will feel and experience pain or if we will sign up to suffer. As we navigate this together today, know that you are not alone and through this journey, you can let go to finally be you.

Show Notes:

[2:34] - There is a difference between feeling sadness, pain, and anger and choosing to live in it.

[3:40] - Jill references “the ache” as mentioned in a book by Glennon Doyle.

[6:01] - There are many reasons you feel sadness but Jill shares a story about how she chose to continue suffering because it had become her identity.

[8:14] - Jill describes the feeling of “stepping into suffering” as a warm bath because it was a familiar place she had been for so long.

[10:32] - There is a comfort in suffering. It is addictive because it satisfies a need.

[12:31] - There is no timeline on how long you choose to suffer.

[13:26] - You won’t be okay with accepting “what is” and it will feel tremendously uncomfortable.

[15:33] - Turning away from the cause of the suffering is not the solution.

[16:07] - The pain doesn’t go away when you choose to stop suffering, but it doesn’t have a hold on you.

[17:19] - When suffering becomes who you are, it feels good and you don’t know who you are without it.

[19:54] - Other people want us to get over things and grieve quickly. It comes from a caring place, but you are in control of this.

[21:41] - No one is taking away your grieving or your right to feel sadness. This is about freedom within that.

[22:31] - Part of being yourself is identifying the dark parts, too. Otherwise, we’re just pretending.

[23:22] - Take a moment to journal about sadness and suffering. How will it feel to free yourself from suffering?

[25:19] - Suffering is sneaky and is oftentimes hard to see if someone else is suffering. But you know if you are.

I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is. Thank you for being here today with me on our healing journeys.