Ep# 189: ANGER.

Coffee With Dr. Kashey

In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the concept of frustration and annoyance, and how they can lead to anger if not managed properly. He explains that frustrations arising from the operational domain (being able to do what one wants) and the fairness domain (getting what one deserves) are particularly prone to causing annoyance. Dr. Kashey discusses how annoyance generates a sense of urgency, leading people to act impulsively and irrationally, often escalating the situation instead of resolving it. He uses the STFU (Stimulus, Thinking, Feeling, Urging) model to break down how frustrating stimuli trigger thoughts, feelings, and urges that can spiral into anger and violent fantasies. Dr. Kashey emphasizes the psychobiological connection between these violent thoughts and the body's stress response, preparing for a fight. He suggests approaching frustrating situations as puzzles or games, creating a motivating challenge rather than a perceived attack, and learning from mistakes to update strategies for the future.