Empowerment

Creating a Healing Space

A 15 minute talk to health professionals at Whanganui Hospital, New Zealand, February 2011 by Chris Cresswell
Ka tangi te tui
Ka tangi te piwhakawhaka
Ka tangi hoki ahau
Tei hei mauriora
Kia ora kautoa
Empowerment
I invite you to join me in a conversation about empowerment.
It has been an interesting conversation that I’ve been having for about 18 years. Most recently I’ve been having it mainly with 2 people. One is Gilbert Taurua, the Director of Maori Health for the DHB, the other Sarah Mauven, a peer support worker for Balance, a mental health support group in town.
The korero goes something like this...
If we as health professionals, policy makers, counselors, friends, partners give our patients, people, friends, partners advice, knowledge, even support are we actually disempowering them. By thinking we can help does that mean we think we are more powerful, knowledgeable, clever than them? Even if we don’t think that, does our position relative to them make us more powerful – and therefore them less powerful?
Do we, especially doctors, keep patients dependent on us?
Some of the best times in our careers are when patients take charge of their lives. They start exercising, they leave the abusive partner, they start caring about and for themselves. But these moments seem fairly rare. Is that because the current medical model keeps them powerless?
And if that is so how do we help? Or do we get all New Agey and say the world is OK as it is and just Zen out? That patients should be left to empower themselves.
Now most of the time I just carrying on with life and work – but occasionally these questions would pop up and derail me a little in my work with patients or in conversations with family or whoever “Am I being paternalistic?” “But the patient needs a good lecture!”
I came to a happier place with this about a year ago with the realisation that we can be powerful, and we can remind others of their own power – with out disempowering them. So it’s not a them or us power thing – but a them and us power thing. Power with, not power over.
And with that things became easier. I seemed to be more often in a space where I was comfortable with my relationship with my patient or friend. In a space where the right words flowed out of my mouth that were affirming to patients, where I was freer to let patients be themselves and have their own lives.
Simultaneously there was a process of becoming more comfortable in myself and being able to speak my own truth. Through meditation and daily practice at work and home I was becoming better at ignoring the internal mental chatter and focusing on what was in front of me. I was taking charge of my own life instead of being a victim of circumstances. I was empowering myself.
As I became more comfortable in my own skin I became less concerned about what other people thought, more sure of myself. As I accepted myself as who I am, with all my faults and failings, it became easier to accept other people with their faults and failings. The need to fix people reduced.
And as I stopped trying to fix other people, they started fixing themselves. When I stopped wanting my wife to stop smoking, she stopped smoking. As I stopped wanting my son to be a certain way – I could see how awesome he is in so many other ways.
Once I stopped trying to fix patients, I connected with them better, had more fun, and was able to do better medicine because I could think more clearly without “He should stop smoking” “She should leave that guy” crowing in my head.
And as I was able to step back and let people be, they started growing into the space I allowed them.
The most spectacular of these has Mrs B. I won’t tell too much of her story because I don’t want to steal her thunder – she will be telling her story as part of the La Fiesta – the women’s festival - next month.
Mrs B had suffered a horrific event many years ago and was suffering from OCD, fear of being alone or alone in public, depression and palpitations. She had been worked up in ED and in medical OPD with no improvement. She had heard I did relaxation exercises with patients and asked if I would do one with her. I took her through a brief exercise – focusing on breathing and various body sensations – exercises that help people get out of their thoughts and back to their true selves. At the end she looked stunned and said she felt great. I offered no advice. I did no counseling.
She went out and started sorting out her life, her relationship with her husband, her kids, her friends and extended family. She became happy and contented with her life. Her palpitations went and she was comfortable going to the supermarket alone at night for the first time in years.
She had backwards slide a few weeks later. We did a similar exercise. This time when we finished it was like she was on acid. She felt like she had a whole new perception of life. She was so excited about the transformation in herself. Again I offered no counseling or advice.
Now her workmates comment on the change in her, - she is happy and bubbly she repeatedly says “I am so happy with my life” and she has gone from being fearful of everything to booking herself for public speaking engagements.
Now I don’t do justice to Mrs Bs story and I encourage you to come and hear her tell it herself on the 1st and 14th of March in the Woman’s festival.
But the important thing is I did not fix Mrs B. I just helped her turn her brain off for 10 minutes – then the solutions came out of her. And I believe everyone has that potential.
So my suggestion to all of you is to follow Ghandi’s advice: “Be the change you want to see.” If you want healthy empowered patients be healthy and empowered yourself. Then the rest happens as if by magic.
Each of us has things in our lives that we know would make a big difference to our lives. It might be becoming smoke free, exercising, speaking our truth, meditating, praying, cutting back on the grog.
We all have passions that we neglect – it might be painting, walking in the bush, doing our bit for the environment, music
We all know how we would like to be in the world. Do you want to be the grumpy cynical doctor, or the bitchy, tired nurse, or the exasperated OT? Or would you like to be passionate, energetic, caring, patient focused?
“But the system makes that impossible” It will if you let it. Be who you want to be no matter what the situation. You might find the situation then becomes easier. If you ignore the endless mental bitching about the system, you may find you connect better with your patients, and work will become more satisfying.
Or maybe you will get to a place where you know you have given it your best shot and it’s time to find a new job.
Spend some time each day turning off your brain. Whether it is meditation, playing an instrument, walking by the river and just being there without thinking about work, or the shopping or whatever.
At work consciously choose to focus on your patient, or the colleague that is talking to you, rather than the mental noise in your head.
With all of this you may find yourself less often getting sucked into other peoples dramas, more centred in yourself.
You may be like Syed Hamid who while working in psych said no matter how agitated the patient is, if I am calm in myself the patient becomes more calm.
As you become calmer, more centred, more powerful yourself you will find yourself allowing your patients to be themselves. To grow into the space that you have allowed them. You have created a healing space.
That’s all I want to say for today. I encourage you to go to the talks on empowerment and on magic at the women’s festival next month.
Also if you are interested in what I’ve been talking about there are some cards at the back with links to some websites.
One is called Free from your mind which is a collection of meditation resources for patients. It has a sleep inducing meditation which is very effective. Athol Steward was having trouble sleeping so he tried it. His wife freaked out when she came home one evening and found him comatose on the lounge floor. It works.
There is one called Creating a Healing Space which goes into what I’ve been talking about today in more depth.