How to ditch the self-criticism and stop beating yourself up

Cultivate Calm

Many of us grew up thinking we had to be hard on ourselves to succeed. We believed that criticising ourselves was the only way to improve. However, constantly criticising and being hard on ourselves often leads to feelings of shame and hopelessness. It drains our mental energy, makes us feel unworthy and puts our nervous system into freeze mode. So, why do we punish ourselves?
Behind the mask of the critic is often a wounded child. Our inner critic tries to protect us from failure, hurt, or embarrassment, reminding us of past experiences where making mistakes led to punishment or criticism. This fear of judgment or negative consequences can keep us stuck and prevent us from pursuing our goals.
As strange as it might seem, self-criticism can also become addictive because it evokes strong emotions. Anything that makes us feel, whether it’s positive or negative, has a charge associated with it and makes us feel alive. And if we’ve had a habit of being self-critical for a long time, this feeling becomes very safe and familiar and we struggle to let it go.
To ditch self-criticism, we need to practise and embrace self-compassion. When we treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, we accept the fact that we are human and that we all make mistakes. We recognise that growth and transformation are all part of the journey toward consciousness.
In this episode, I share a little about my journey of letting go of self-criticism and how learning new habits has impacted my life for the better. Becoming self-compassionate has enabled me to bounce back quicker from an upset, I have more physical and mental energy and so much more focus now that I’m no longer at war with myself.
Self-criticism perpetuates a shame cycle, it makes us feel terrible and it doesn't lead to positive change. Compassion, on the other hand, allows us to learn from our mistakes without punishment, allowing us to move forward knowing that we are accepted as we are.
If you struggle with being self-critical, I’m sharing some practical steps to help you change those negative thought patterns and cultivate self-compassion. Make sure you stay tuned to the end of the episode where I share a beautiful guided meditation that will open your heart toward love, self-acceptance and kindness.

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