64 - V-Cards with the Retards (feat. Mack ”Mac Miller” Maine)
Manage episode 373952556 series 3309968
TL;DR My fiancé has a micropenis
Wow, it's almost a relief just to write that down. IRL I have not told a single person- not anyone in my family not my bestie. I really have no one to vent to. Im thankful for this subreddit.
Obviously it's not a deal breaker for me- I want to spend the rest of my life with him. He is an amazing man, treats me so well, highly intelligent. He is tall, very good looking and fit. He is basically the whole package and I'm so proud to be with him.
Now- his dick. He is 3 inches hard and very thin. Basically the size of my thumb. The one area in this world he is insecure about. It was definitely a shock for me at first. We do have sex often. Pretty much every day without fail. He has magical hands & tongue and he is a very enthusiastic lover-making sure I cum every time. He has a tremendous imagination. We do use toys, such as dildos, sleeves and straps ons from time to time. It's good and all, but it's just not the same.
Now here is the real get off my chest stuff. He would ask me if I ever miss a bigger dick. I don't have it in my heart to tell him ABSOLUTELY YES. I was always a very sexual being and I was very orgasmic from PIV. I absolutely miss cumming from PIV. I absolutely crave that full filling that I don't get now. I wake up horny and just crave it.
It's not a deal breaker because of the amazing man he is and my love for him. He is very much the greatest man I have ever met. I would never cheat- I've never cheated on anyone and I won't start now. But I admit, my mind is dirty and can wonder. I would imagine fucking a big dick while I masturbate- and I would cry with guilt after I cum.
I feel so bad that the world is so unfair. I would read on Reddit about men being so sad and insecure over their average cocks. 5-6 inches and your nsecure? Like STFU!!! Whoever, I'm part of the problem myself. I was the girl that previously bragged to her girlfriends about how well endowed my ex boyfriend was. It's funny how the world works. The world sucks. We suck.
TIL I think my roommate jizzed in my vape
So me and my friend have been living inside the same house for about a month now. We are short on money and usually only one of us has a vape at one time so we always share. He usually borrows my vape for a little bit and brings it back but recently he’s been taking it for at least an hour at a time. I thought nothing of it until one day he handed it back to me and it had an odd taste. I thought it might be a problem with the vape but it got worse and didn’t taste burnt so I popped it open and there was a thick layer of slimy cloudy liquid. I immediately was in denial that it was his cum and tried to think of every other possibility but it was definitely cum. This was yesterday and I already got myself a new vape but I still haven’t confronted him about it. What was he even trying to do? I’m just so confused and don’t know how to handle this.
AITA - LMFAO THIS KID IS GETTING RELENTLESSLY BULLIED AT SCHOOL FOR SELLING HIS BUSSY FOR WEED
THIS KID REALLY LOST HIS FUCKING GF AND THE RESPECT OF EVERYONE AT THIS SCHOOL LMFAOOO 💀💀💀 Bro he actually used to be hella popular, had a gf, and everything. Now the whole school is dunking on him. I almost feel bad for him for a second, but then I remember HE SOLD HIS BUSSY FOR A GRAM OF REGGIE LOLLLLLL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 This kid was getting stuffed into a locker saying, “stop it hurts! It’s too tight!” and someone said, “is that what you told the plug?” and holy fuck I have never heard that many people laugh in my life. I have science class with him, and we’re going over conversions of measurements, so when the teacher asked, “if 1000 grams is a kilogram, then what is a gram?” one of the people in the class blurted out, “SOMETHING WORTH SELLING YOUR ASS OVER!” and it even had the teacher laughing. Yesterday, the DARE program had an anti-weed assembly, and they showed a picture of his face before and after the incident saying weed addiction will make you sell your bussy just to get high and the whole school erupted in laughter when he came on the screen. He ran out of the gym crying, and one of the DARE speakers asked him, “is your bussy so wide that you shit yourself without warning? You poor soul,” and you could just tell he was seething with anger. The funny part is, THERE WAS SHIT FALLING OUT OF HIS SHORTS ON THE WAY OUT LMFAOOO!!! 🤣🤣🤣
NTA his shit rules
104 episodes