67 - Meditation Visualization Manifestation ASMR (feat. Andrew Tate and Gary Vaynerchuk)
Manage episode 375801280 series 3309968
Soothing Relaxing Soft-Spoken ASMR
I want to share a little relaxation exercise that has helped me tremendously over the years, and that I believe can help you too, no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing, no matter who you're with or why you're with them.
I want you to think about someone who bothers you.
Think about that person that hurt you.
That person who embarrassed you.
That person who makes you so angry
That person who disgusts you
Who gets on your nerves
Who grinds your gears
Who makes you act the fool
Who drives you cuckoo bonkers crazy town
Imagine this person who has wronged you, time and time and time again
Draining you, sucking you dry, of any lifeforce you still have left at the end of the day
After working tirelessly
Sitting in traffic
Waiting in lines
Talking and smiling and nodding
Yes sir yes ma'am yes they yes them
You come home
And you just wanna watch your shows
And eat a little garbage
And jerk your little genitals
So you can finally go to sleep
But that person is still there
In your mind
Lingering
Stinking up the place
Staring at you
Yelling in your face
Molesting you
Terrorizing you
Pulling on your feet
Poking and prodding and teasing you
Putting whipped cream in your hand and tickling your nose with a feather
Writing mean things about you on Facebook
Telling everyone in your life
About that silly thing you did
So nobody will ever forget
Scoffing at you
Laughing at you
Pushing you around
Shoving you into lockers
Stealing your lunch money
Borrowing your car
And not refilling the tank
Ignoring your texts for week ands months at a time
And not acknowledging your old messages when they finally text you back about something completely unrelated
Getting defensive when you tell them how they've hurt you
Guilt tripping you by passive aggressively saying they're just the worst person in the world
wallowing in self-pity, instead of just accepting responsibility for their actions and attempting to make amends or improve themselves in any meaningful way, or at least acknowledging your needs and emotions without making it about their own
Gaslighting you into thinking you were always the bad one
Dunking your head in the toilet
Drawing caricatures of you and putting them on the fridge
Editing pictures of you so you look a little fatter and uglier before uploading and tagging you in them
Asking to copy your homework everyday for 4 years and then dropping out
Asking you for large loans and spending it on vacations and drugs and fortnite battle passes while still owing you
Drawing and quartering you in the public square
In front of all of your friends and family
Pulling your shorts down, during PE
Ripping open your tearaway trackpants while you're stretching
Tying your shoelaces together
Throwing wet paper towels on you and shutting the bathroom lights off while you're sitting in the stall
Announcing to everyone within earshot that you're in there taking a big stinky shit
Agreeing to help you with the thing you need help with
And then being really annoying about it
Complaining, sighing, rolling their eyes,
And holding it over your head for the rest of your life
reminding you of every favor they've ever done for you, no matter how small
Sending you memes you already sent them 3 weeks ago
Reading your journal and making vague references to things you wrote
Denying that they ever read your journal
Finally admitting they read your journal but not apologizing for it because they dont think it was wrong
Trying to convince you they violated your privacy because they care about you and wanted to help you
Pelting you with rotten tomatoes
Overwriting your save files
Playing ranked matches on your account and getting you kicked out of your clan
Kicking you out of the house
Letting your cat play outside by the busy road where they drive like maniacs
Messaging you on Instagram about business opportunities
Liking all of your pictures from 2012-2016
Reporting your debt to all three major credit bureaus
Eating your food but telling you it went bad so they threw it away for you
Pushing your head into your cake as you blow out the candles
Smacking you up the backside of your head as you lean in to take a sip of your drink, shoving the straw into your lip and taking a chunk out of your gums
Judging you for being broke
Criticizing you for being upper middle class
Mocking your lack of brand loyalty
Skipping your songs
Talking over your movies
Asking about your day and rolling their eyes as soon as you open your mouth
Spitting in your water cooler
Signing you up for email newsletters you would have no interest in
Stretching out the collar of your favorite shirt
Pissing and shitting on the collar of your favorite shirt
Donating your favorite shirt to salvation army
Drinking the gay beer
Eating the gay chicken sandwich
Sucking the gay penis
Flushing your nonflushable wipes
Fucking your unfuckable wife
Eating up all the chitlins
Referring to you in the 3rd person when you are in the room participating in the conversation
Critiquing your style every time they see you
Giving unsolicited advice
Blaming it on the weed when they're being ignorant and retarded
Blaming it on not having weed when they're being a cranky asshole
Denying their addictions
Forgetting to invite you to the function and then calling you drunk at 1am saying where you at bro you should be here bro fun ass night bro
Forgetting the times you were at the function and saying nah bro you weren't even there when ur talking about what happened
Repeating the joke you just said but a lot louder while winking at you
Berating you
Degrading you
Humiliating you via their jerk off podcast that you're still listening to cuz you fucking hate yourself and have nothing to live for
Reading and ignoring your comments, DMs, and emails
Telling you to please fucking kill yourself for the love of god
And imagine crushing them, squishing them, squeezing them between your toes until their head pops like a zit
Taking a baseball bat and giving em a good WHAP to the side of the head while they scroll tiktok
Using a pair of rusty pliers to rip their nipples off and air frying them and eating them with buffalo dip
Ripping their pubic hair out with your teeth and forcing them to help you waterpik the pubes out of your mouth
Imagine digging in their bellybutton with your fingers until it's uncomfortably raw and u don't let them scratch it or put lotion on it or whatever
Giving their podcast a bad rating on spotify
Prying their fingernails off and glueing them to their teeth like veneers
Waxing their eyebrows off and wearing them like a mustache
imagine wiping up their blood with a sponge
Wringing it out over your head
Feeling their hot blood hit your face
Dripping down your cheeks and chin
Licking your lips
Tasting their sweet sweet juice
Running down your chest
Rubbing it around your nipples gently
Lubing yourself with it
Masturbating with it
It feels so good, so satisfying
Surprising them and making them fall backwards ass-first onto a lone mason jar
Locking them in a cage and lighting them on fire and recording it with a drone
Picking them up by the nape of their neck like a cat
Stabbing them multiple times with a large knife
At least 30 times with a large sharp knife
Digging and twisting in their fat stomach with a large sharp knife
Scooping our their flesh with a wooden spoon
Scraping their bones with a metal spoon
Forcing them to work overtime every Sunday
Forcing them to work every holiday
Denying every single one of their PTO requests
Shoving a shotgun in their mouth and just rattling it around knocking their teeth loose
Licking the tears off their cheeks
Starting an IV and slurping their blood up like a milkshake through a silly straw
Locking them in a large industrial front loading tumble dryer and running it on medium heat for 3 hours with one 15 minute break each hour and no dryer sheets no wrinkle shield
Commenting on their posts but not liking them
Eating a few of their fries while they're in the bathroom but not enough for them to notice
Smothering them with a Ghislaine maxwell in a bikini body pillow
Spraying them in the eyes with the hello kitty mace
Smashing their face with an awfully hot coffee pot
Projecting two girls one cup onto every surface of their house and calling it an art exhibition so a bunch of fucking retards come to take selfies with it and feel cultured
Turning their childhood home into a selfie museum
Stealing their catalytic converter and making them eat it uncooked
Making them do a hot ones style challenge but it's cat poop instead of wings
Hiding a piece of cheese between their mattress and box spring
Telling their significant other that they made out with two girls and put their head between a cocktail waitress's breasts
Putting acid in their drink and convincing them that they've been locked in a psych hospital for the last 20 years and everything they see and hear is all in their heads and that the only way to wake up and escape is to kill themselves
Squeezing their toes in a flat iron until they pop like corn kernels
Imagine murdering them in cold blood, and not even attending the funeral
Now I want you to focus on the resolution
Let it go.
Imagine feeling sorry
Imagine apologizing for ever letting these silly thoughts and actions get in the way
Thanks for listening
Like comment subscribe
Good luck and goodnight
Namaste
Another day of being in complete awe of my endowment, at my size. My god, my bulge, it's undeniably huge.
I caught a look at myself in the mirror and had to stop and marvel at my size. I am absolutely huge. My dick looks like an alien mothership. My god I'm getting rock hard just thinking about it. I'm literally nearly tipping over the desk I'm sitting in as I write this from my massive shaft forcing its way up. Anyway sometimes I swear my dio09dd09 90dalkds kj9 whoa almost lost the keyboard what I was saying is that my dick will get a mind of its own and just have its way. I was once having sex with this girl and as I thrust my throbbing cock into her I essentially catapulted her as my shaft goes from 120 degrees to 20 in about 0.000012 seconds and she flew 10 ft into the air and hit her head on the ceiling. God. My cock is just so fucking huge my god it's massive. Just this absolutely throbbing massive dick. I woke up this morning and I looked down and it was like mount everest in the form of bedsheets front of me. Rock solid. I just marveled at my cock. I am turned on by my own size and I love every fucking minute of it. I'm fucking huge and I love it. My size. My size. My endowment.
One time I was at a bar with a girl and everyone could see the outline of my shaft in my pants and everyone was trying to awkwardly look away until one guy said "whoa Mr BigDick coming through" and everyone laughed and 2 guys patted me on the back. I could tell the girls in the bar who had boyfriends were envious of me and one guy looked defeated as I passed by him and made him look like a minature ken doll dwarfed by my gigantic cock. I feel bad for them honestly having to be compared to my endowment. Later that week I went back and all the girls were sitting in a corner eyeing me and my bulge and the girl I was with said she told them all about my size and that's all they could think about. They knew and knew I knew and I knew they knew I knew about what was going on and I firmly told them it was no big deal and they all squealed and went wild one of them even fainted.
Also, I just want to remind everyone who has a massive dick....don't ever take a picture of it because it will make nearly all men on earth feel inferior to you and give unrealistic expectations to girls and guys everywhere. I took a picture of my dick once and apparently it was shared by everyone on earth because later I went into the Smithsonian and saw a picture of it and it was labeled as the most impossibly perfect dick to ever grace the universe and two men were on their knees worshipping it while another man was in the fetal position whimpering. One time too I was on discord and a guy named "BigDick99999" had my dick pic as his profile pic. I won't lie, it was a bit of a confidence boost.
Later in the bathroom there was only one urinal in the middle and two guys and when I whipped it out they both enviously glanced at my endowment endowment endowment endowment and one of them said I thought they didn't allow horses in here and the other guy gulped loudly. He then, blushing, bashfully said that my wife is very lucky and must be very happy.
The first time I realized I was well endowed and my size was consierable was when my mom was driving and lost control of the car in the snow and when she went to grab the clutch my huge donger was ocuppying the dashboard (due to its demanding size) and she said "I want you to wear tighter pants from now on."
There are downsides though. This one girl said she could handle me as we were discussing dick size in my apartment. After I told her my size she said I would be the biggest. Then she said she could handle me anyway. Well let me tell you 2 hours later (somewhat related, all the magnum XXXLLLL condoms ripped as usual) in the ER proved her wrong. It was an awkward conversation with the hospital staff and I could tell everyone was uncomfortable but also clearly impressed as my size was creating a bulge, a huge bulge with purpose, from my endowment. Finally a doctor blurted out that I was the biggest he's ever seen and he has seen 1000s a day but none as big as mine. I had to go to the bathroom later but just looking at the toilet there's no way it would have been able to handle my size. My endowment.
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