S02 E27 | The Kane & Sonbination, The Catapult Bra & Garth Crooks' Team Of The Day

Footballland

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Greetings Earholders!

What a lovely day it is too, not least because you've got a brand new episode of Footballland ready to plug into your earholes! We have $1 billion dollars burning a hole in our pocket and we're about to spunk it all on some giant fibreglass faces of Harry Kane and Son Heung-Min!

Here's the rides for your consideration today:

The Kane And Sonbination

Harry Kane and Son Heung-Min recently won Spurs yet another made up trophy - the most combined goals in the history of the Premier League. Weird that Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba didn't celebrate when they held that title. Probably out winning genuine cups, I'd imagine. So we've put our thinking caps on and come up with the best way to commemorate them - with the world's first suck and blow vertical water flume!

The Catapult Bra

Sports bras are all the rage in men's football. They say it's for data, but why not have a microchip injected into your neck like cats do? So Ryan wants to use these 'Catapult Bras' at Footballland, and has come up with a crack security team who weed out the tits and fling them out of the park!

Garth Crooks' Team Of The Day

Mark is rightly obsessed with Garth Crooks, and proposes hiring him to give out awards to punters at the end of every day. But what categories will he judge? And what about those occasions on which he is weirdly quite sensible?

And please keep sending us your ride ideas! We will discuss each and every one.

Anthony Richardson, Footballland CEO

Mark Davison Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer

Ryan Baxter, Intern

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