S02 E28 | The Glenn Hoddle School of English, The Matty Cash Point & Ooh Aahh Canada!

Footballland

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2y ago 40:30

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Greetings Footballland Earholders!

And a special welcome to our new Patreon Thomas Stirewalt, who is the proud sponsor of our new car park (The Thomas Spirewalt Car Park, suitable for both cars and motorcycles and nocturnal nesting place of Pepe, should he so wish). Thanks, Thomas!

This is an apt point to remind you that you can pitch a ride to us if you're a Patreon and we will discuss it on the show. Patreon pitches thus far have included Lee Cattermole's Petting Zoo, The Cristiano Ronaldo Hall of Mirrors, Gary Mabbutt's Queen's Nose and A Cup Of Carabao. Thanks indeed to those of you who have sent stuff our way - Footballland is shaping up nicely because of it.

So, what's on the agenda this week?

The Glenn Hoddle School Of English

Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer Mark Davison has unveiled plans to build a multi-million pound language school at Footballland, focusing on Glenn Hoddle's unique usage of the English Language. The Glennglish Centre expects to welcome many students from November.

The Matty Cash Point

Footballland will be a cashless theme park. However, if you're desperate to visit the corner shop down the road and need a fiver for a bottle of Highland Spring, we will be giving Matty Cash £10,000 every day, making him the world's first human ATM. But be quick - Matt gets to keep all the money left over at the end of each night, so you'll have to work hard for your dosh!

Ooh Aah Canada!

Ryan really fought to have his ride included without the addition of a 107 year old Jermain Defoe with trains for eyes, but Anthony and Mark convinced him in the end! As a result, Oh Canada will be the world's only theme park ride featuring a 107 year old Jermain Defoe with trains for eyes. You're welcome, Ryan!

Best regards,

Anthony Richardson (CEO of Footballland)

Mark Davison (Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer)

Ryan Baxter (Intern)

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