COACHING SESSION: Caitlin & Chris explore BDSM

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Caitlin returns for a follow-up coaching session with her partner, Chris. They check in with Leah about their BDSM explorations, dom/sub dynamics, communication in and out of play sessions, aftercare, safe words, bruising, pleasure, and sourcing and trying new ideas.

Bookmark moments:

• 4:20 - Caitlin and Chris catch Leah up on the new-to-them BDSM they’ve been exploring and what they’d like support with.
• 7:31 - Caitlin is clear that sub is her turf.
• 8:38 - They get into specifics with impact tools, paddles, riding crop, switch, etc. Chris explains how he manages and escalates the impact using a 1-10 scale and timing set to playdate playlist.
• 12:55 - Leah talks about safe-wording to help Caitlin really get into sub space and also to give Chris reassurance. The line rests in the hands of the sub. Leah also talks about non-verbal safe cues.
• 17:55 - Chris shares his progress since the start of their sexual partnership.
• 20:29 - PJ Parties for Grownups!
• 23:13 - Pleasure dynamics for the dom, and physically dominating vs verbally dominating. Chris has an easier time with one over the other and is naturally a giver, so Leah helps him find new some avenues and techniques.
• 27:07 - Making a restaurant-style command or activity menu ahead of time can help. Leah shares a few tips.
• 30:53 - Navigating voyeurism/exhibitionism, consent, and safe places to engage.
• 36:21 - The Yes/No/Maybe list is great for finding and knowing your hard red lines. It’s also a good idea to revisit the list periodically. Leah shares other resources and talks about BDSM tasting events.
• 41:31 - Chris talks about finding and pushing the limits as a dom while still being careful not to hurt her.
• 43:50 - Each play session is separate and discrete; always check in fresh.
• 44:56 - Is pushing BDSM limits healthy? If you’re having consensual fun, carry on.
• 48:26 - Here’s how to work with Leah.

Resources mentioned:

• Three Minute Game
• Yes / No / Maybe list
• Literotica

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EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email) Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo Music – Nazar Rybak