Kevin Benevides: Rethinking Niceness — How to Recover From People-Pleasing, Codependency, and Self-Abandonment

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How do we recognize and disentangle our self-worth from the approval of others? Is being “nice” more harmful than we realize? Can we escape the relentless anxiety of trying to become who we think others want us to be?

In today's episode, we're privileged to sit down with Kevin Benevides, the force behind The Canvas Within. As a transformational men’s coach, Kevin openly shares his journey from being a self-confessed people pleaser and perpetual "nice guy" stricken with paralyzing anxiety, to becoming a leader of mindfulness and emotional authenticity for men. He confronts the prevailing misconception that "niceness" is always virtuous and exposes it as a potential mask for unresolved trauma, self-sacrifice, and a fear-driven desire for validation.
Kevin imparts his wisdom on codependency and people-pleasing tendencies, revealing how these coping mechanisms often lead to living for others, withholding honesty in relationships, and fostering resentment-filled giving. He breaks down the detrimental difference between authentic kindness and protective "niceness," and why so many of us default to "fix it" mode instead of holding space in our relationships. He delves into the need for us to be okay with others not being okay, and why we can't -- and shouldn't -- make our partners do the work of transformation.
Whether you are grappling with anxiety, wrestling with people-pleasing tendencies, or seeking to form more authentic connections in your relationships, this episode is a gift.

• Understanding co-dependency
• Challenging societal narratives around masculinity
• Overcoming people-pleasing tendencies
• Recovering from toxic niceness
• Mindfulness and emotional authenticity
• Cultivating conscious relationships
• Holding emotional space in relationships
• Why men try to "fix" it
• How to avoid the inauthentic "nice guy" in dating

CONNECT WITH KEVIN

• Check out Kevin: https://www.facebook.com/thecanvaswithin/
• Follow on IG: @thecanvaswithin/

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Chapters

1. Kevin Benevides: Rethinking Niceness — How to Recover From People-Pleasing, Codependency, and Self-Abandonment (00:00:00)

2. Living Authentically and Overcoming Anxiety (00:00:02)

3. Men's Journey Towards Authenticity and Healing (00:10:25)

4. Societal Wounds Impacting Men's Healing (00:21:28)

5. Shifting Toxic Masculinity and Finding Freedom (00:26:32)

6. Navigating Nice Guys and Authenticity (00:30:03)