Ask Uncut - I Was Sent My Mum's Nudes

Life Uncut

Hey Lifers!
Welcome back to therapy Thursday where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions!
Is there anything more awkward than the entire restaurant/bar singing happy birthday to you? What the heck do you do? Smile and sing along??
Would you like to know that you were getting proposed to or prefer it to be a surprise? Britt and Keeshia met a couple where she definitely knew it was happening!
Vibes for the week:
Britt: Netflix American Murder: Laci Peterson
Keeshia: House of Sculpt Pilates
Laura: Couples Therapy on SBS on Demand/Paramount plus

Then we jump into your questions!

DO I TELL MY MUM I GOT SENT HER NUDES?
Just over 2 years ago, I was getting ready for bed one night when I got a notification on messenger for a message request from someone I didn’t recognise. It said “I just thought you would like to know what your mother had been up to lately” followed by nude images of my mum and screenshots of texts exchanged between her and this person's husband. I was shocked and hoped that she hadn’t sent these to any of my other siblings. I ignored the message as much as I could until my youngest brother called me in hysterics telling me that he had just received the same message. I ended up reading the whole text exchange. There was a week where she visited him in his home town on her week off work. I looked at the dates and it all hit me again. She was meant to come visit me and my newborn interstate that week but said she had covid and had to stay where she was (his hometown). As terrible as I feel for my mum's partner, this is what shook me the most. She used me and my child as a reason to go where she was going just to “inconveniently” get covid and not be able to travel any further. She used us to cheat and it makes me sick. Ever since I found this out I haven’t been the same around her. I haven’t told her I know and I haven’t told her partner either. It’s an unspoken thing between my brother and I but we both feel the same towards her. I am also so mad at this woman for sending these explicit things to us as if we had anything to do with it. Why punish us and make us bear the weight of it all? Anyway, my questions are…My mum and her partner are still together with no bumps in sight. Do I tell my mum I know? Do I need to tell her partner? Or with it being over 2 years since do I just need a top notch therapist to deal with this myself?

CAN WE HAVE SEX WHEN OUR CHILD IS ONLY METRES AWAY?
My partner and I recently took our 2 year old daughter on her first family holiday. We all stayed in the same room with 2 queen beds. She slept in her own bed and I slept with my partner. My partner wanted to have sex on the holiday and would always make jokes like "what are you doing later" which were good for him shooting your shot. BUT my mindset was how can oh have sex when your child is sleeping legit no more than 1 metre away from you isn't that strange ? I guess my question is, are people having sex on holidays in the same room as their kids?? Is this a thing because it makes me cringe but he thinks it's so fine because she's asleep?

DO I REFUND HER
I sold a labour tens machine on facebook marketplace a few months ago for $60. I had originally purchased it as an ex hire machine but did not use it for my labour as it was too fast. I had tested it and it seemed to work fine to the best of my knowledge. Up until I sold it, it had sat in the pack it came in without the battery in it, untouched. Before I sold it to the lady I checked it again and it all seemed to work fine still. She had told me she wanted a receipt for the item as she had some trouble buying off marketplace before. I empathised with her but told her I can’t provide a receipt for it. Now a few months have passed and she has contacted me saying that it was rubbish, didn’t work as it should and is not in good working order. She also said that it impacted her birth and her experience was horrendous. I have sincerely apologised and explained my situation but I know she’s fishing for a refund. Do I refund her the money or just ignore her messages and move on?

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