You Need THIS in Your Life

Love Over Addiction

I’ve been thinking about how important humor is when we’re in the midst of living life while loving someone who struggles with addiction. So I was thinking about some of the funniest women I know.

One of those women is an author named Jen Hatmaker. She has her own podcast, too. I am in love with this woman. She came out with a book that really changed my perspective on the importance of friendship. It is called For the Love.

I was thinking about her because I recently went hear her speak. I saw an ad for her event pop up on Facebook. It was only 30 or 40 minutes away from me, so I thought, “I’m going to grab my girlfriends and go.”

So we all go to this conference, and we’re so excited to see Jen. She did not disappoint. You know it's a good speaker when you walk away and you can recite at least three things they said.

How many times have you gone to these things and you don’t remember anything they said? You remember what they were wearing or what you were wearing or what you ate during the break. But you don’t remember what they actually said. Well, Jen is one of those people who speaks, and you listen, and you remember.

The funniest thing she said the whole night, and the thing that spoke to me so much, was: “I’ve been trying my whole life to be precious.” It just hit a chord with me because I remember thinking, “I have never been described by anybody that I know of as precious.”

I think I look like I would be precious. If you were to see me in the mall, you would think, “Oh, she looks precious.” And then I would open my mouth, and you would quickly realize that I am the furthest thing from somebody who would be called precious.

But anyway, when she said that, I thought, “Yeah, that’s so funny.” And then it got me thinking all about Jen Hatmaker and how I actually was a little bit of a stalker. During the breaks at her event, I would be telling my friends all about her.

For example, she was talking about a time in her life that was really difficult, and I turned to my friends and said, “Oh yeah, that’s when she went on her boat, and she got her magazine and a glass of wine, and she was just all by herself. And her friend came to join her, and she was really disappointed.”

I did this for almost every story that she told. And I realized that this is kind of creepy and that I might actually have a problem. How do I know all this information about her? I’m not sure. I think it’s from Instagram.

But if you know me, I’m not a social media person. I am the worst of the worst when it comes to posting. I have people do it for me because I turn on my phone, and I go to Instagram, and I’m like, “I’m going to post this picture.”

But for some reason, when I go to post something, the camera opens up and it’s my face staring back at me. And I’m thinking, first of all, I thought I looked good today. But I don’t, clearly, and that is scary. Why can I not get this to pull up the picture I wanted to post?

What is my point? And how the heck does this pertain to addiction, you wonder?

The point is that we need humor in our life.

So often it can get so serious so fast. You're dealing with the stress, the chaos, the dysfunction, and the yuckiness of it all, and you’ve got to surround yourself with funny people.

When I was married to an alcoholic and substance abuser, I didn't have any friends because I was always so concerned about my husband and my children. I wrote everybody else off.

And I was afraid to leave the house because I wasn’t sure what I would come home to. Who would look after the children? Who would monitor his drugs or his drinking?

So I had no friends. You know who my friend was during that time? Oprah Winfrey. I did not have her phone number, but I watched her every single day while I was vacuuming.

And my other group of friends was the Golden Girls.

Between those ladies, I swear they carried me through my divorce.

Oprah is a funny woman. Not only is she funny, but she brought on some of wisest guests that really pertained to the pain that I was suffering and struggling with.

I remember being at Disney about a month ago. And there was a guy who was walking in Epcot. He was walking in England (because Epcot has all the different countries), and he had a white t-shirt on with black font saying, “Dorothy, Rose, Sophia, Blanche.”

I don’t know what came over me. And he probably thought I was the weirdest human being in the world, but I just took my kids and b-lined to him and said, “The Golden Girls! They saved me during my divorce. I love them!”

We hugged. We had a moment. In Epcot. In England. Hugging over the Golden Girls. So that's how strong of a connection I feel toward those women.

What I am trying to say is read books that are funny. Watch movies or TV shows that make you laugh. Go out and spend some money on things that give you joy and humor in your life because we have to loosen up.

We have to laugh during our recovery.

It is all too serious and all too intense. So go on out there and get Jen Hatmaker’s book.

You can get all the Golden Girls episodes on DVD or Apple TV. And if Golden Girls is not your thing, there are some great movies out there.

Tonight, make it a point. Put yourself out there, and surround yourself with people who are funny and that bring you joy.