Ep46~ Learning to Write in Pencil

Man Shopping with Stacie

I'm back! I'm on a journey of self- discovery right along with you! I'm 44 years old now and my daughter turns 17 at the end of the month. We've been on our own for about 3 years now. This skill of learning to write in pencil is something I've been working on for awhile.
In this episode, I'm going to share some examples of how despite trying to write my own life's story with a sharpie, life has thrown curveballs time an time again to remind me I should be writing in pencil. I'm also going to try to convince myself and you guys that there's been no better time than now... single over 40 to keep an open mind and go with the flow.
I found inspiration for this podcast from my daily devotional written by Shauna Niequist called Savor.
My vision for my break from the podcast was one of tranquility. The reality though, is that the break has created anxiety. There's never a perfect time to jump back in or take a leap of faith. So, here I am, back with the podcast after my break that didn't really serve me well.
My first love at the age of 14 is a clear example of my own tendency to get ahead of myself and plan my life. I had a promise ring, names for our kids were chosen, and my engagement ring design was literally torn from a magazine. Then, life happened... again and again.
For me, something that changed the course of my life more that anything else was death. I share the story of my cousin, Mandy's, death when we were both 18 and how it altered the course of my life.
Death upturns everything and I believe death and divorce (or break ups) evoke similar feelings. I think it's important to grieve our past relationships just as we grieve the loss of our loved ones in death. Sometimes divorce comes as a tragic surprise. For others, it's a long painful ending. Either way, it's painful and difficult.
Overcoming loss in divorce doesn't have to be strewn with negative feelings and guilt. We can seek forgiveness, share life with positive people, learn through our dating experiences. We can choose to view our single status as an opportunity though. Personally, I find it thrilling that I have no idea what is ahead.
Opportunities to be open-minded and excited about the unknown as singles over 40:

• Our careers- Maybe it's a great time to choose a different career path or continue our education. It's never too late!
• Creative Pursuits! Your life doesn't have to look any particular way. Nothing is holding you back. Use your extra time to try something new. Your desires and dreams are up to you to make happen!
• Future relationships/marriage - some of us have very strong feelings about what we will and not do in our future... I think we should avoid definitive statements like "I'll never get married again!" How do you know?! I think we should stay open hearted and open-minded about our romantic futures. Personally, I don't have an end game... I have NO idea if I'll fall in love or get married. I am open to anything though.

Life can change on a dime. I've been approached by several different casting agents and directors to be on reality shows. They were all big wake up calls of just how quickly my life would change if I ended up on any of them. If you would've told me a year ago that I would be doing phone and zoom interviews for Hulu or HBO Max, I wouldn't believe you. That's a version of my life I could've never predicted.
I share a story of a beautifully tragic love story of a friend of mine. It's a wonderful example of a second chance of love and exactly how unpredictable life can be.
Have faith and believe that your future holds great things. The unknown can be thrilling. Maybe just maybe you'll choose to follow my lead and for the first time in your life you'll be a visionary and a dreamer.

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