Simplicity | An Inside Job

Riffing On Realness™

Here’s what we explored:

• when people try and fix us or our problems it's not helpful, it can be disempowering
• what about not offering solutions to others?
• what if we have faith that others can figure things out?
• what if we wait to be asked for advice?
• the simplicity and power of just being present with someone is under-estimated
• wanting to fix others is usually about the fixer's ego
• fixers often can't tolerate someone's else's pain or discomfort
• fixing is often about the fixer feeling better
• to have someone sit with you when you are hurt, confused or angry is incredibly powerful
• Carla talks about an initial conversation she has with prospective clients where she doesn't coach but listens deeply and asks questions
• what if we don't need a bag of tools and techniques to deal with work, family or finances?
• what if bringing the simplicity of listening with a tender, open-heart is all we need?
• a psychological relaxation is a kind of dropping down under our thoughts rather than trying to control or argue with our thoughts
• listening to understand means listening with an open minded curiosity
• when we are too in love with our own great ideas we stop listening
• when people are going through difficult life challenges, we can worry about what to say or do.
• Just show up and be present and see what occurs
• support (for ourselves and others) can be incredibly simple
• sometimes we don't need words, so much is carried on the feeling, more than we realise
• in a constricted tense mind, it's almost impossible to come up with solutions
• also in a numb, zoned out mind, problems can seem overwhelming
• that deeper, peaceful feeling is never far away
• we can discover the possibility of a little reboot at any odd moment
• gentle encouragement to look towards a deeper experience
• trying to force our mind into any particular state tends to just get in the way - more busy thinking
• how is it we can switch out of a low mood for example, when we have a work call?
• fresh thought gives us a fresh experience
• if you deeply realise that, it begins to change your relationship to how you feel
• state of mind is fluid: notice how much it changes through the day
• when you feel state of mind gives us an experience of irritability
• if you try to solve a problem from that irritable state, everything you look at will be experienced as irritating
• what about long term depression, how do you get over that?
• there is a deeper dimension that is beyond or before your mood
• when we begin to see that all our feelings are coming from inside of us, there is a freedom in recognising that
• often we add a pile of judgement, analysis and shame on how we feel and so we have the experience of being shamed, wrong, not good enough
• grieving is healthy, it's a way of coming back to equilibrium if we allow ourselves to experience it wholeheartedly
• then it doesn't feel as sticky
• our psychological system will come back to equilibrium
• there is a way to feel more grounded through what we think of as difficult emotions
• when we expand into how we feel, huge arms of love wrapped around whatever we are feeling: grief, mean-ness
• we are participants and creators in the experience we are having
• as we get insights around where our experience is coming from, our relationship to our moods begins to change
• our capacity to feel, to feel love, and appreciate everyday beauty, expands
• the need to control begins to fall away
• the control, analysis, and judgment takes so much energy
• wonder about that still space before our thoughts and feelings
• we touch that space all the time, it's ordinary, but we overlook it

Quotes and Reference

• Adyashanti - on many social media platforms

Thank you for listening. What are you seeing around simplicity? We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. We'd love this podcast to reach a wider audience and point more people to their own wisdom, so please like and share it. It all helps and we appreciate it.

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Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

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Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life.

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