Lies Trusted Mentors Like to Tell

Root Your Radiance

Have you ever been lied to by a trusted mentor? Clichés like paying your dues, waiting for the "right time" to start your business, and struggling towards abundance are startlingly common in the world of mentors and gurus. But there is only one person who can lead you down the path of success, no matter what mentor you ever have – and that's YOU!
In this episode, I invite you to embrace your inner "No's" and "Yes's" and fully bet on yourself.
Learn more about Prosperous Practice and my upcoming mastermind offering at rootyourradiance.com.
Continue the conversation by sending me a DM on Instagram. I'm @thelaurabautista.
Let's go!
FULL TRANSCRIPT: Lies Your Trusted Mentors Tell
Laura Bautista:

Have you ever been lied to by a trusted mentor? I have many times. And I kind of feel like sometimes they don't even do it on purpose. It's just what they believe. So today, we're going to talk about and debunk some lies that your trusted mentors like to tell you.

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Welcome to the prosperous practice podcast. I'm your host, Laura Bautista. And I am so honored, excited and happy to have you here with me. Let's get into it.

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The first one that I really love. And that really kept me stuck for such a long time. And this showed up not only in the Western world, in the corporate world, and mainstream society, it also shows up in the holistic world a little bit. And I just don't believe in and it's this whole notion, this old way of thinking of pay your dues, and how you have to pay your dues in this industry before you can grow.

And I remember I was working for an acupuncturist and I really liked them. It was one of my first real Holistic Health jobs. And they were really cool. I learned about muscle testing, I learned about the meridians, I learned about nutritional supplementation, I learned a ton. And I remember talking about my frustration with my growth. And they were really supportive with my growth, like - kind of - they were supportive and when they were supportive. But then when it actually came to me growing, they weren't supportive. Maybe you've had a boss like that.

But I remember I was describing just like my path and I had healed myself from multiple sclerosis. At this point, I had healed myself from chronic hives at this point, I was helping people already. And I was just frustrated with like, how hard it was to like, grow business and to figure it out. And to get jobs that paid well, as a health coach, I mean, a lot of jobs, it's kind of sick, they pay less like them fucking McDonald's workers to be a health coach, like starting out the offer you like 13 or $15 an hour, when you're helping people completely changed their lives. And so I was really frustrated with this.

And one of the things she said to me was, well, you know, you have to pay your dues. And this was not the first time that I'd heard this, right, this is very common advice. And some might say, it's really powerful advice. But for me, that didn't really land and I was like, I fucking have paid my dues. I've Healed my body from some crazy shit I have overcome a lot in my life.

When you become a holistic practitioner, when you become a health coach, everything you've ever done, counts toward how you help people, right? It's how it's what's shaped you. And if you're any good. You really invested in your own healing, like, I kind of feel like you're not going to be any good as a practitioner, if you haven't fully invested in your own healing, at least at some point in your life. And obviously, somewhat of a consistent basis.

But my point is, this whole notion of like, you got to pay your dues. I really want to challenge that because I feel that more than “pay your dues”, it's about “invest in yourself”. Because paying your dues. I mean, how long does that fucking take? Who decides how much I pay? Do I decide? Do you decide, does society decide, does the industry decide?

Like, I have a lot of practitioner clients who are trying to price their programs and products? And when they first start with me, they're just like, oh, well, you know, industry standard is blah, blah, blah. And that's another one. I didn't actually mean to even talk about that today. But that's like, I just build that into this, this whole notion of like, you have to do things industry standard. Well, yeah, if you want to be an industry standard coach, industry standard health coach, you want to be just another health coach. Sure. Do industry standard stuff.

But you want to help people walk through a sustainable healing process, completely transform their lives. Well, that's not industry standard. So you're not going to be making industry standard money.

It's the same thing with pay your dues.

So I invite you to challenge this whole pay your dues thing or just see like, what does that even mean for me? Like, do I believe that? Maybe you do. There's nothing wrong with that at all. The question is then just like what does that even look like for me? How long do I pay my dues before I am making enough money to feel really good about my business? Where I don't have to work full time where I can work three days a week seeing clients and then have an admin day? Do I have to wait till I'm in my 40s or 50s or 60s or whatever? When? When can I do that? Right?

Or is it about something else? Is it really about investing in yourself? Investing in your clinical training and your clinical expertise, investing in your confidence in guiding someone through a sustainable healing process? Investing in your business? Investing in your – your education of business and your growth?

What I find is that many of my mentors had this kind of pay your dues consciousness. And it kind of again goes along with this, like no pain, no gain, like that abundance has to be struggle kind of thing. And I appreciate that that was their path. And I kind of see that as the old way. Because the way that I see it, and I do and I've done it has much more to do with investing in my self investing in my ability to create the career of my dreams, right investing in the fact that there's no way I'm not going to be successful investing in that fucking energy. Right? Not in those little little pay my dues.

I don't know, that shit is just, it just doesn't feel like the future of healing, it feels like a very old archaic way to kind of go about things. So again, love the person who said this to me, I admire her, I think she'd kind of stopped liking me because I like, stop working there. You know, it happens a lot when you like work for people and you support their dream. Kind of want to normalize that a little bit, because it's happened to me a bunch of times it gets a little sticky, because people care so much about their business, but then you move on, and they don't want you to move on. And so if that's ever happened to you, I'd be curious to know, I'd invite you to hit me up over on the DMS at a @theLauraBatista on Instagram. But I digress.

The point here is that instead of the consciousness of man, I gotta pay my dues. Maybe it's more about man, I gotta invest in myself. And that's financially, energetically, in the form of self love, in the form of your education. Those are the things that fast track your prosperity and your success.

So in my first year in business, I made $121,192 That was the number on my tax return my first year. And that year, I invested 45,000 something and give you that exact number. It's actually in this resource that I created that you're totally welcome to have, “how I made $121,000 in my first year”. But yeah, I invested $45,000 To make that 121k. Right.

So investing in myself is what fast track my revenue growth. And then I was able to pay myself and pay off a whole bunch of debt. And really believe in myself, because the thing is not about strategy only, right? It's not about paying your dues only. It's not just about paying people to teach you stuff like you got to implement and you got to feel it. And you got to find what works for you. And I have found what works for holistic practitioners, I could probably help anybody grow their business.

Honestly, with all the shit that I've learned and all the programs I've done, all the coaches I've hired, and the brilliant brilliant talent that I have learned from brilliant people who've done amazing, amazing epic things. I've done a lot of programs, I've invested tons and tons of money. And that was the fast track. It was not just the investment of the finances, but the investment of energy. The going all in on business education, taking a break for a season from my clinical trainings, which was very hard for me, I'm always in a clinical training.

Right now I'm in probably like, I'm doing my Somatic Experiencing training, I have my enter my intermediate three this weekend, super excited about that. I'm doing Dr. Amy's biology of trauma, I'm in Dr. Grace, lose the gut Institute. I am in the fourwind society, energy medicine certification program. I am in another trauma healing program, I'm learning how to do Healing Retreats.

What's cool is that when you learn how to set your business up, by investing in yourself, working with mentors who actually get you and who get what you're trying to do, you're able to get such a sick ass ROI on your investment or as sick as ROI or return on investment. Right? That you can then fund every other clinical training program that you want to do in the future. So my invitation here is to not hurry or rush anything, right? But if you don't take a season in your business to learn business, you're going to struggle way longer than you need to.

Which brings me to my next lie that a trusted mentor told me which was that building your business will be too difficult and too expensive. I remember I was working for this woman and she's an incredible nutritionist and she has a very successful business. And I was really kind of miserable and I would talk to her about it. I would tell her like you know I'm in – I'm in all sorts of debt, like I'm super stressed out about my dad. And I just have all this potential, I have all this training, like, I know how to help people, but I just, I can't find a job that pays me what I need. And, you know, I'm in this like, weird loop of not having enough money, but still really wanting to do what I need to do.

And so she said, you know, right now is really not the time for you to do this. Because building your business will be way too difficult and too expensive. And you already have all this debt. And it was really cool. Because when she said that, I had this moment of like, you're fucking wrong. And also this kind of like, hold my beer, kind of fucking feeling. And it was a similar feeling to when the doctor said, “Listen, the only way is for you to take this multiple sclerosis medication, but it's going to slow your heart rate”. And I was like, Whoa, that's fucking wrong. I'm not doing that shit. And let me go into the abyss of the unknown, right?

So probably about a month or two after that mentor said building a business will be too expensive and difficult for you right now. I quit that job. And I started my own business. And my God, it was just the best thing to go all in on myself. And let me tell you, I didn't have any fucking money. Okay, I was very in debt. And I did not have any savings. I was living paycheck to paycheck, most of the best decisions I've ever made have been wildly irrational, wildly irrational, totally spirit led, if I'm fully honest, and also fully betting on myself, because that's what I was doing. I was investing in myself, energetically, with hope. And I think that I can have a lot of confidence in that. Because I have lost my health. I know what that feels like. And I got it back. And I know how to do it. And I know how to teach it.

So it's so cool when people tell you things. And if you're a client of mine, and I've ever told you something that is felt limiting and you're just like, You know what, fuck you. I'm gonna do it anyway, thank God, I love that that has happened. It's happened with my favorite coaches. You know, they tried to get me to steer a certain way. And the rebel in me was just like, You know what? No. And it's not personal. It's my sacred No. Which leads to My Sacred Yes.

I've been working with a with a dance. My dance coach Natalie Tischler, who you may have seen it the purpose of healing Summit, if you were able to tune into that, and that's what we talk about a lot. Is this inner authority and connecting to your sacred No. Because once you can really embody your sacred know, your sacred Yes, comes online, very easily.

Another lie that I want to shine a little bit of light on that you may have experienced something similar was there was another person that I worked for. And she had a very successful practice. And I was apprenticing with her. And when I left, she was really butthurt, she really took it personally, you know, it was really about my passion, the way I want to do things and things got really personal. And I know many practitioners who have worked for other practitioners where things get personal things get weird. There's resentment in the end. And one of the things that she said to me, because I was walking away from like a multimillion dollar opportunity, and I was in tons of debt. And she knew all about it, because we had very, very poor boundaries, and all of the personal stuff and the financial stuff. It was just a big mess of boundaries with good intentions, but it was a mess.

But in the end, when I walked away from this opportunity to take over this practice, she said to me, she said, “you know, you're not very smart. This is not something that a smart person would do.” And I listened. And I also just felt this like, Okay, I'm not even going to fight you on that, because I so disagree. And I just don't care to be right. Like, I learned a lot about that. But then the biggest lie was when she said “What a shame”. She said, “It's a shame”. You know, and I don't remember the rest of the sentence, but like, attaching shame, to my decision to do things my way.

You know, that energy and some may maybe you may have felt that energy with with someone that you've worked with in the past, but she was a very trusted mentor and to hear those words from a very trusted mentor. It was pretty harsh, right? But also it was really easy for me to not believe it. Because I am my own guru. No matter what mentor I ever have. I trust me more. And I think that that's something that once I find in a mentor that they don't feel good about me trusting me more than I trust them. That seems to be when I graduate from that mentor, which is a very natural process, too.

I share all of this with you too, because resentment for mentors and coaches is like one of the most common things that exists. But if you're able to just remember that you get to trust you more than that mentor, you can take what resonates and leave the rest and really apply what resonates and make it work for you. And that leads to less resentment, and actually making your money back in these containers, and all of that. So we don't have to believe all of the things our mentors say. And you can really feel it when it's a lie.

And that's my invitation to you is to like, think about who are your teachers, think about what you love about them and think about where you disagree with them. And maybe even people who you've had some some disagreements with in the past, or some weird, professional breakups with where it was about it was a mentor, and then ultimately, you just stopped, you just stopped agreeing and how that felt. And then what happened next, and then what happened next, right?

Because it seems that we can always kind of like, recalibrate and come back from anything. Once we commit to that sacred no to that no more. And to that, graduating from whatever just no longer resonates, right, because sometimes lying. It's not because there's bad intention. Sometimes it's for survival, sometimes it's a belief thing. And sometimes it's totally a fucking ego thing. You know, which is not what I'm talking about. Those are obvious and felt.

But it's natural to learn from a mentor. And then cycle onward to your next mentor. Once you've learned what you needed to learn from that person, you are the genius, right? So stay true and transparent, throughout the process of working with a mentor, or being a mentor, right? And don't rely on your on your guru. And don't be such a source of reliance for your client, right, empower them to be their own Guru as well.

Because that is the biggest takeaway is that everything that you need is within you. Okay, maybe you need more strategy, maybe you need more examples of what could potentially work for you. But at the end of the day, unless you are choosing it, it's not going to work anyway.

I'll leave you with this. Many business coaches, mentors have really good intentions. But what they're teaching is just outdated. Or it's not the full truth. Some spiritual business coaches, for example, they teach that it's all about the energy, and that you don't have to talk about process, you don't have to focus so much on strategy, or, you know, what exactly is in your course, or you just have to, you know, bring the energy. And if you can't bring the energy, what happens? You're fucked, right?

So other coaches are like, No, you just have to do this strategy. Right. And the truth is, is that you need both, you need both the energetics and the strategy. And a lot of the time, if it's not sticking, it's because you need to support your nervous system. This is the missing piece in business coaching as well, is that sometimes when we can't implement or we don't get it, or it's not working, it has nothing to do with your competence, with your ability.

It's truly a nervous system process that's keeping you in a loop of shiny ball syndrome, of being all over the place of not executing of not following through of being really hard on yourself when things don't work out. And what's needed, there is more truth, your nervous system needs more connection to safety and truth and the present moment. And that's another way that lies will come up even from your own inner guru, from your own inner mentor trauma can skew the information.

So I know we talked a lot today about kind of different ways that lies show up. But the truth is that until we address these areas, of lies, have beliefs of things that are not true. We're not going to be able to move forward and to connect to the highest possibility because a lot of these things if not all of them are coming from someone else's version of what things should be like. And that's the old way, the old way of doing things.

So if you are a holistic practitioner, we have a few weeks left of open enroll went for the Prosperous Purpose Mastermind where I teach you how to do all of these things, how to build a business in a way that is not too expensive. That is not too difficult. And it's coming from you being the leader. I'm providing the path, I am the guide. But we're co creating here. And there's a lot of grace and strategy and just amazing magic built in.

The women who have signed up already for this program are amazing. And it's only going to get you see her and you see her and I really want to help you step into being an actual fucking health entrepreneur, an actual business owner, who makes money helps people and lives freely.

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Until next time, sending you so much love. Bye for now.

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Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for joining me for this episode of The Prosperous Practice podcast. To catch all the magic that's being offered here, I want you to subscribe to the show.

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Like all good things, this podcast creates space for a diverse range of voices to be heard. We share the mic and we work to lift these voices to create a higher standard of health care for the planet and for the future.

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And thanks to those who make this prosperous practice podcast so friggin special. Our wonderful music is by James Wilder and Prosperous Practice is produced by Particulate Media. The ideas and inspiration come from beautiful humans like you that I truly feel so lucky to be in circuit with. Once again, I'm Laura Bautista.

Take good care and be well. Until next time, bye for now.