Forty Days & Forty Nights ~ An Embodied Retrospective Part 1

Sacarmi

I’m cozied at a small table at my favourite cafe with the best 6oz flat white ever and no one else around. It’s been a baptism of fire 40 days (explanation later) and I have some Significant Changes to integrate in my next birth year, starting April 8th 2016. Here’s the process,

Step 1: I commenced a forty day commitment to a 2.5hour daily Kundalini Yoga meditation on Monday 1st February, 2016 called The Long Ek Ong Kars. Why? – is another story.
Step 2: Sitting with myself for 2.5hrs a day, reveals a few things. Let’s just say you get to meet yourself.
Step 3: Kept a journal each day of what happens and noted who showed up – turns out there’s an entire crowd in here!
Step 4: Yesterday, after mulling over new content – I realised just may be I could be brave enough to share what surfaced during this the latest Self-Embodiment roller-coaster ride.
Step 5: Today, I’ve ordered a warm beverage and then really had a think about what moved me and mattered the most retrospectively these last 40 days.
Step 5: I then chose five things I’m going to focus on in the next year as a result of this 40 day board meeting.

So lean in and sign up for my next series of The Moving Self Podcast & Blogs as I attempt to pass on what I learnt, but for this episode here’s an overview so you can decide if you want in…

What did I learn?
I learnt how simple IT all is once I get past all the complicated distractions I create to blur the view. I reflected how there were fewer highlights than I wanted in some areas of my life. And the small matter of the difference between where I think I am… And the actual reality… Turns out there’s a gap… A Big, BIG GAP!

My first Reaction “Oh f**k!” hysterical laughter. When I wipe my tears (50/50 laughter/dismay) I settle into my new awareness, sinking into my body and waiting, patiently. This is the moment when my ambitious, doer personality wants to come out fighting, driving things forward, the big urge to make stuff happen, take control – it will happily use up all my energy and leave me gutless, lying in a heap of exhaustion and disappointment – but the resistance to “not doing” is pulling out all the stops. Engaging with this knowingly destructible behaviour is crazily seductive.

Our Hidden Personalities (yes, there we all have more than one. Yay!) each having its own well-established agenda. In this case, let’s call it Little Miss Ambitious – whose real identity is really Little Miss Scarce, tightly bound around, funnily enough, scarcity. Not enough time, not enough money, not enough energy are features with a big whallop of power and authority issues with myself. Somewhere something is attached to the belief ‘I am not enough’ and in a flurry of over-compensation, a short term vomiting of controlling activity helps numb the truth and detach from reality, a kind of spiritual bulimia. Time for an intervention… here’s how:

Step 1: Acknowledge the Hidden Personality. Let it be. We know it’s somewhere between 0-7 years old, so be with it as you would a child.
Step 2: Soften the edges of its keenness by paying attention – listen, watch, sense. This in itself will start to give it space to move and relax.
Step 3: Sink into the energetic display and begin to move beyond the frenetic surface, go behind the scenes, deep inside the feeling, deep inside the the voice and its belief. In my case I sink into the voice ‘I must stay ahead of the curve, I must be the first, I innovate, that’s what I do, I’m an innovator’.
Step 4: Get to the bones of it. What wound or memory is this voice, identity, feeling over-compensating for? What Hidden Agenda does it have? Ask… What is it that you need? For me, the ambitious innovator is being used tactically to cover up, to hide the fear ‘I am not enough’.
Step 5: Sit with, alongside, what you found. Breathe. Place one hand on your heart and one on your navel. Connect your navel and heart centres and breathe. Wait, patiently… Sink inside, like a stone sinking gently though water… Exhale. Breathe. Wait until the feeling peaks and drops and settles on the bed of your ocean.

So..if any of this resonates with you stick with me by subscribing here or jump over to the Moving Self podcast if you would like to join me for a 15mins kriya and 11mins meditation for the Radiant Body to help contact a sense of completeness and contentment. Here’s an excerpt from the transcript and a copy of the mantra if you want to participate in the meditation.

“In Kundalini Yoga, we view ourselves as having Ten Bodies. One physical body, three mental bodies and six energetic bodies. The tenth body is called The Radiant Body and it expands 9 feet around us. Energy comes into the body through the crown chakra, goes up and down the spine picking up speed and then extends and builds up the Radiant Body.

An expanded Radiant Body holds the link to Source, to the true Centre. When we embody our full Radiant Body our communication becomes impersonally personal, we are beyond comparison and competition. Our presence communicates contentment, containment, completeness and consciousness.

When it is depleted we have to do everything. We make comparisons of being better than some people and worse than others. We grasp for some security other than our Being and the Infinite. Hidden Agendas are rife. We hide from our natural charisma and radiance. We reach out to find solutions or distractions rather than sink in and meet the wisdom and power of the truth.

Ask yourself:
Will I allow myself to be creative and courageous?
Will I allow myself to be noticed as I truly am?
Will I allow myself to attract whatever I want?
Do I want to make commitments to strengthening my Radiant Body?

Ready to meet your natural Radiance? Click here.

The Ajai Alai mantra and translation:

Ajai Alai – Invincible, Indestructible.

Abhai Abai – Fearless, Unchanging.

Abhoo Ajoo – Unformed, Unborn.

Anaas Akaas – Imperishable, Etheric

Aganj Abhanj – Unbreakable, Impenetrable.

Alakkh Abhakkh – Unseen, Unaffected.

Akaal Dy-aal – Undying, Merciful

Alaykh Abhaykh – Indescribable, Uncostumed.

Anaam Akaam – Nameless, Desireless.

Agaah Adhaah – Unfathomable, Incorruptible.

Anaathay Pramaathay – Unmastered, Destroyer.

Ajonee Amonee – Beyond birth, Beyond silence.

Na Rangay Na Rangay- Beyond love, Beyond color.

Na Roopay Na Raykhay – Beyond form, Beyond shape.

Akarmang Abharmang – Beyond karma, Beyond doubt.

Aganjay Alaykhay – Unconquerable, Indescribable.

BodyMind Blessings,

Sally X

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