Episode 1: She's Not From Here

She's Not From Here

In our pilot episode, we introduce ourselves and all our hopes and dreams for She’s Not From Here. Then we talk about Casual Greatness, mundane things we are awesome at, and tell stories of when cats attack and love on the Nile in our travel segment And Then I Found $5. Finally, we recommend stuff we like that you should too in Wish You Were Here. Thank you for listening to Episode 1!

Show Notes

Part 1 - Welcome to She’s Not From Here

In this episode, your hosts, Katherine and Megan, introduce the show, describe how it is that we met and explain why oh why we’re embarking on this crazy journey of podcasting – an act in itself which is forcing us to go out of our comfort zone try new things like Twitter, Super Bowl parties and more! Each episode, we’ll discuss various topics related to finding your place or your “tribe”, figuring out where you belong/fit in, and basically figuring your sh** out as an adult.

In part 1, we tell our origin story of how we met in Salt Lake City (Small Lake City, Smog Lake City). Although we lived in Washington, DC at the same time and had mutual friends, we didn’t meet until one of said mutual friends recommended that we meet up in Salt Lake just prior to Katherine’s decision to move there. With her mom in tow, Katherine met Megan (and her lovely wife Alyssa and SNFH’s resident know-it-all and producer). After a somewhat awkward interaction where Megan “aggressively” informed Katherine that she was married to Alyssa, the night went on and as they say, the rest is history. And important lesson learned, whenever two people are put together in a sentence, one should assume they are married no matter if they are a priest and a nun…

We immediately bonded over our similar moves from the Midwest, to Washington, DC to Salt Lake City where we knew few people, and darn it if making friends as an adult can be what they call a “challenge.” Throughout the show we’ll talk about how to adjust when your friends move away, their lives change, how to keep in touch with people who are no longer right next door and avoid what Katherine likes to call the “Lee Effect” where you become dead to someone as soon as you move away.

One solution: daily emails with friends to keep up on the mundane details of your lives. How else will you know about the mean lady at the receptionist desk or the hot guy your friend is macking on at the sandwich shop? Solution 2: group texts/group chats (gmail or what have you). This enables you to send funny videos, thoughts, and generally keep in touch with a group of friends right from your phone no matter where you are. This is all great until you hit that magical part in your life when you have both the means and the time to visit friends wherever they may be.

We’ll also get real about our preconceived notions and real experiences living as outsiders in a place like Salt Lake City – what it’s like to be gay in Utah, how different the average marriage age is in different regions, establishing trust with new friends, finding your place in the counter culture, and how to break the ice.

Finally, we plan to talk to our friends and others about how they have found their place, turned their hobbies into a way to find/establish their community, and generally talk about things that young professionals care about, all while celebrating champagne Sunday. Man, we’re tired already!

Part 2 – Casual Greatness

In this segment, we introduce Casual Greatness, our version of a humble brag where we talk about things we are great at but with things that don’t matter, nor should they.

Megan’s casually great at parallel parking. She has a backup camera on her car and doesn’t even need it! People call her the Michael Jordan of parallel parking to Katherine’s Dennis Rodman (who really wanted to be Tony Kukoc). This did provide us with the great image of Dennis Rodman parallel parking on the streets of Chicago – but do we really think he drove himself around? Katherine came to the defense of terrible parallel parkers everywhere, after all, it’s not for everyone including a man we saw parking the other day who couldn’t get his car into a space twice its size as Megan smiled and watched saying “I’m watching you suck at this.”

Interestingly, that wasn’t the funniest interaction between a person and a car that day. Later that day, Megan saw a person in a Little Caesars mascot costume do the aggressive chest bump to a Pizza Hut delivery guy. Who knew the competition between the two pizza chains was so intense? We learn that Dominoes is the valet parking of pizza while lowly Little Caesars is crowned the pedi-cab of pizza – you know, old school. Katherine’s face became quite green throughout the segment as she is a terrible parallel parker.

Katherine’s casually great at peeing, some might even say a Natural Born Pee-er (NBP). We’ll admit, Megan was a bit skeptical to start. As the 4th of 5 kids, Katherine had to rush to get in and out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. Although luckily, she didn’t have to pee in a bucket as Megan experienced at her Nana’s house. SPOILER ALER: We’ll revisit Megan’s love of peeing in buckets and generally all things non-toilet in future episodes. Unsurprisingly, this skill has been extremely useful in a variety of situations, airplane bathrooms, while traveling, at the bar. It’s also a great conversation starter. Nothing is more entertaining than calling yourself an Olympic speed pee-er to a bunch of drunk girls at a bar, how else could Katherine have made so many bathroom friends in college? Why waste so much time when there are so many other things one can do?

Then we explore peeing in Utah bars which is not as much of a challenge because the lines in general are shorter, however, because of the 4% ABV laws in Utah, you actually have to pee more. This led to Megan’s change of heart and embracing of the NBP attributes. To quote, “your skill is so good.”

In conclusion, we should all celebrate our casual greatnesses, the everyday mundane details of our lives are what make up most of our lives.

Part 3 – And then I found $5

Where we tell stories that may or may not be funny to you, but they’re funny to us. These are untested, uncharted, unapproved stories, where we may or may not have found five dollars at the end.

We start with Katherine’s tale of love on the Nile. Unfortunately Humphrey Bogart was NOT there. At the end of a work trip to Egypt, Katherine was preparing to leave Cairo for a very early morning flight. Around 9pm, she heads to her room to pack and nap before leaving for the airport at 1 am. She tries to sleep around 10 PM and promptly receives her first phone call. “Ms. Katherine! Ms. Katherine! I have flowers for you.” To which Katherine replies that she has checked out and he should give them to someone else. FOUR phone calls later, Katherine is not so happy. Katherine’s secret lover informs her that he loves her and asks to bring the flowers to her room fully creeping Katherine out. Once she’s ready to leave, she opens the door to find a two foot tall bouquet of flowers outside her door with a card reading, “Abdul loves you”, at that point her Lifetime movie instincts kick in. Just then, a man walks down the hall. Katherine immediately runs down the hallway to the elevator. To this day she has no idea who her secret lover is, he could be anywhere… but then she found five dollars, so all was well.

Next, Megan tells her tale of five dollars that may add up to five, but really added up to cat bites and copious amounts of antibiotics. It was the tale of one of the worst work trips she ever had. It started with her hating Mondays a la Bob Geldof and Garfield. On this fated day, Megan’s cat Whitcomb escapes for his freedom! She tries to lure him back to the house with treats to which he responds with violence and mayhem and viciously attacks her hands (leaving scars in the shape of her cat’s mouth). A quick trip to prompt care leaves her with antibiotics and no stitches (fun fact: cat bites are puncture wounds and stitches would most likely cause infection).

Megan has an important work trip to Nashville so she walks like a mummy throughout the airport with her hands all bandaged up impersonating Kobe Bryant walking through the airport with her headphones on – an act apparently all basketball players do, or at least we assume. Upon arrival, she discovers that her hands are getting worse, turns out, she has cellulitis. She is rewarded with more antibiotics AND a shot in the butt – which was music to Megan’s ears. On her flight home, a man is so high that he’s banging on the windows screaming to get off the plane. They emergency land the plane and the man is immediately arrested and escorted off – interestingly, Katherine has had a very similar experience flying to Salt Lake City. Quite the coincidence. Hmm. Megan sees alls all these innocent people in the airport with no idea of the craziness that just went on. In conclusion, her week from hell was marred with: being attacked by a cat, got a shot in the ass, and watched someone get arrested on her flight, but then she found five dollars!

Wish You Were Here

Every episode, Katherine and Megan will provide their recommendations of things they like and wish they were here. Maybe not always, but definitely sometimes. We’re women of the 50s so it’s our prerogative to change our mind. And listeners, can you find Katherine’s husband?

Megan – a webseries call Just the Tips featuring two friends Katy and Katie who “take the internet’s advice seriously.” In particular, she recommends episode “Glit Pumps” where they make glitter pumpkins in honor of Thanksgiving (or is it Halloween?). Please berate them into making more episodes! It’s been TOO LONG!

Katherine – Sleeping at Last - a musician who makes really calm and chill songs perfect for long airplane rides, trying to be calm, cool and collected. Unfortunately, it won’t prevent blood clots. However, he does cover some amazing 80s and 90s songs in surprisingly interesting ways. Check him out.

Thanks for listening to Episode 1! She’s Katherine, and she’s Megan, and she’s not from here.

This Episode's Music

• "Jam On Revenge (The Wikki Wiki Song)" by Newcleus
• "Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell" by Das Racist
• "These Great Things" by Lily & Madeleine
• Original intro and closing music by Megan Hillier

Keywords

Salt Lake City, origin story, Finding your place, where you belong, Small Lake City, Smog Lake City, Comfort Zone, DC, mutual friends, cross-country move, sister wives, SLC Punk, Gay in Utah, humor, charm and disarm, friendship is war, champagne Sunday, young professionals, casual greatness, humble brag, parallel parking, Little Caesars, Pizza Hut, Natural born pee-er, Michael Phelps of peeing, break the ice, love on the Nile, found five dollars, Lifetime movies, LinkedIn, Parks and Recreation, when cats attack, Kobe Bryant, headphones, hot mess sundae, Wish you were here, Just the Tips, Jock James, Kids Bop, Sleeping at Last.