Episode 059 - The Queen of Doubt

Stop Making Yourself Miserable

Human intelligence has a remarkable capacity to create tools. No other species even comes close to us in this unique talent. But it’s also critical to keep in mind that once a tool has been created, it can easily become a double-edged sword, which simply means it can be used for good or for bad, for positive, constructive purposes, or for negative, destructive ones.

As an example, let’s look at the first truly transformative tool that human beings ever developed, our primitive ability to make fire, which our distant ancestors discovered at the dawn of history. The current belief is that homo sapiens started using fire about 300,000 years ago, and as we all know, over the course of these 300 millennia, our ability to harness fire has upgraded our lives in innumerable ways. We’ve kept ourselves safe and warm with it, cooked our food with it, and one way or another, we’ve used it to power all of our inventions and machinery. It is such a basic part of our lives that it’s hard to imagine living without it.

But we also know that either by mistake or intention, our misuse of fire has been catastrophic as well. Besides the enormous amount of injury and death that has been caused by accidents, it also provides the power for all of the destructive weaponry we’ve developed. And we created these inventions for the deliberate purpose of maiming and killing human beings. From the first primitive guns of the tenth century through to today’s ultra-modern assault rifles, they all run on fire power. And guns and rifles are just the tip of the iceberg. All told, today’s weapons of mass destruction permeate our world like a monstrous infestation of hungry termites silently devouring a colossal wooden mansion.

Now, along with our ability to create external tools, our intelligence has also developed internal ones. Language and writing are two of our most important. As our psyche continued to evolve, our intelligence crafted innovative mental tools to help us cope with our ever-increasing inner needs. And just like our external tools, the inner ones can quickly become double-edged swords as well.

Doubt is a perfect example. The positive use of doubt has been a tremendous aid for our advancement. For example, doubt is at the very basis of the scientific method. If you have a belief of any kind, for it to become scientific accepted fact, it must be proven beyond doubt. As another example, in America, to be convicted of a criminal offense, the defendant must be proven guilty beyond any reasonable doubt. So, in essence, it’s always a good idea to doubt the doubtful.

But on the negative side, unbridled doubt can be catastrophic. It can make us doubt the truth, which can be truly detrimental. Doubt can be especially powerful when it is bonded to negative feelings like anger, guilt and fear. These combinations can make us act against our own best interests, doing irrational things we would never do if we were in our right mind.

I once heard an instructive story about how powerful doubt can be and what it can make us do. I was on an extended retreat in India back in the early 70s and as with many of the teaching stories of that tradition, although it is simple and somewhat light-hearted, it delivers a profound message if you can tune into it.

The story takes place in the late 1500s and is about an Emperor named Akbar the Great, who ruled most of the sub-continent of India. Akbar’s chief advisor was a brilliant strategist named Birbal, who was the smartest and most cunning member of the royal court. His wit and wisdom were renowned throughout the entire kingdom.

Akbar and Birbal were very close and Akbar always relied on Birbal’s advice for the nation’s matters, both great and small. However, there was a problem brewing. Akbar’s wife, Queen Mariam, who was quite powerful in her own right, was very suspicious of Birbal. Many people felt that she was jealous over his closeness to the King and there was another serious point of contention as well. Her brother was also one of Akbar’s advisors, but he was always in a subordinate position to Birbal, which was a constant irritation to the Queen.

She used to make her negative feelings about Birbal known to the King on a regular basis. and one day she went to the him and insisted that he put Birbal’s cunning and loyalty to the test.

Her plan was for the King to be seated in the garden the next day. He should summon Birbal and tell him to go the palace and bring the Queen to him immediately. But when Birbal would come to get her, she would refuse to go. No matter what he said or did, she wouldn’t budge. She said that would prove that Birbal didn’t have the power to fulfill all the King’s wishes. And she demanded that after he failed the test, the King must demote Birbal and appoint her brother as his chief advisor.

It was obvious to the King that she wanted to prove to him that she was more powerful than Birbal and the King quickly agreed to the plot. But it wasn’t just to placate the Queen. He was sure that his trusty courtier would somehow resolve the problem and his main interest was to see what cunning device he would use to do it.

So, the next day, the plan was put into action. The Queen stayed in the palace and the King went into the garden. He then had a soldier bring Birbal to him.

When Birbal arrived, the King said in an extremely serious tone, “I want you to go to the palace and tell the Queen that I must see her immediately. This is critically important, so you must bring her to me now. And don’t come back without her.”

Birbal had a renowned sense of radar for palace intrigue and he immediately sensed there was something fishy in the air. “Yes, your Majesty,” he agreed. “But your tone has given me some concern. Let me take this soldier with me, so that he can protect the Queen from any danger as we walk from the palace to the garden. As always, I want to fulfill your wishes as perfectly as I can.”

“Of course,” Akbar responded. “But bring her right now. I must see her right away.”

Birbal and the soldier departed, but during the short walk to the palace, Birbal gave the soldier some brief instructions.

“Now do exactly as I tell you,” he said to the guard. “When I go into the room where the Queen is, you remain outside Stay out of her eyesight, but make sure you can see me and watch me closely. If I look at you and wink my eye, I want you to hurry into the room as if you have something critical to tell me. Got it so far?” he asked.

“Yessir,” the soldier replied.

“Good,” Birbal said. “Then you come up to me and whisper something in my ear. It doesn’t matter what you say, but after a moment or so, I want you to say to me in a voice that is loud enough for the queen to hear, ‘And she’s absolutely gorgeous. Got it?”

“Yessir,” the soldier answered.

“Good. Again, in a voice that’s laud enough for the Queen to hear, say, ‘And she’s absolutely gorgeous.’”

Soon, they got to the room where the Queen was. Birbal knocked on the door, entered and left the door opened so he could make eye-contact with the soldier, who remained out of view from the Queen.

Besides being strong-willed and quite powerful, Queen Mariam was also a renowned beauty. Many people felt she was the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom and her appearance was of prime importance to her. She had a hairdresser working on her hair and a make-up artist working on her face.

After bowing to the Queen, who was somewhat cold to him, he said, “Your Majesty, it is very important that you come with me to see the King in the garden right away. He wants to see you immediately.”

The Queen could hardly hide her delight, but answered firmly, “I’m sorry, Birbal, there is an important state dinner at the palace tonight and I will be getting ready for it for hours, so I’m not available this afternoon. You’ll have to go back to the garden and tell the King that I just can’t come. I promise you he’ll understand.”

This began a protracted back and forth where Birbal kept pleading with the Queen to come with him and she kept refusing him. “Now, I’m telling you for the last time that I’m not coming,” the Queen said firmly. “And I command you not to ask me again. The answer is just, plain no. Now go back and tell the King.””

“But your Majesty,” Birbal humbly responded, looking anxious and confused, like he didn’t know what to do next. But, at the same time, he winked his eye at the soldier who was standing in the hall. The soldier then came bursting in the room and whispered into Birbal’s ear, who quickly looked like he was deeply concerned, but trying to hide it. The soldier then said in a louder voice that he was sure the Queen would hear, “And she’s absolutely gorgeous.”

Birbal’s body stiffened. He dismissed the soldier and turned to face the Queen. “You, uh, you know what, your Majesty?” he said with a stutter, looking like he was trying to hide something from her. “It turns out that it’s really not necessary for you to go see the King in the garden after all! I was mistaken. You don’t have to go.”

“What?” the Queen exclaimed astonishingly. “What do you mean I don’t have to go.”

“It’s just that,” Birbal answered. “It’s better if you just, I mean it turns out that you really do have to look your best tonight. Now more than ever, your hair and make-up have to be just right. So just stay here and make sure you look really stunning at the dinner tonight,” he stammered. “You should just stay here.”

The Queen gave him a mistrustful, withering glance and he quickly blurted out to her, “Your Majesty, trust me, it will be better that way. Leave it to me. I’ll handle the whole thing; I’ll just tell the King that you couldn’t make it. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it for you.”

Seeing that the Queen was becoming overwhelmed with suspicion and jealousy, Birbal got down on one knee and pleaded to her, “Let me put it this way, your Majesty, I implore you not to go! Please don’t for the sake of the Kingdom, please don’t do it.”

Incensed, the Queen stood up. “And why not?” she shouted.

Birbal started shaking nervously, like his life depended on it. “You just can’t go to the garden right now. I’m telling you. You can’t do it.”

“Oh, no?” the Queen replied in a rage. “Just try and stop me!” And she stormed off angrily to confront the King in the garden. Birbal followed her, but stayed a good distance behind.

When the Queen finally burst into the garden, she found King Akbar casually sitting all by himself, alone in a grove of some flowering trees. The Queen was confused but the King had a serene smile on his face as he saw Birbal casually enter the garden. After a moment, the three of them just stood there staring at each other. Nobody said anything because they each knew that things were better left unsaid.

I’ve always been quite fond of this story because it highlights the power of doubt in a rather light-hearted but surprisingly deep way. Birbal had simply used doubt mixed with fear to disrupt the otherwise ironclad plan of the Queen. And he added some reverse psychology on top of it for good measure. The more he begged the Queen not to go, the more it built up her will to do it.

The powerful Queen was secure in her ability and determination to undermine Birbal’s’s position, and she had devised a plan that couldn’t fail because she was in control. Yet, it all went out the window when Birbal cleverly dropped some powerful seeds of doubt and fear into her mind.

Now doubt can take many different forms, but self-doubt is particularly self-defeating, and those of us who have been dealt a serious dose of it know how debilitating it can be. But self-doubt will be a topic of its own in a future episode.

So, we come to the end of this episode. As always, keep your eyes, mind and heart opened and let’s get together in the next one.