Season 2, Episode 40: Pivoting while Parenting for Black and Brown Mamas and Papas

That Social Work Lady

The world has shifted. It has changed. So how do you are a parent of black or brown child pivot to be responsive to the times we live in now?
...parents fear being viewed as inconsistent or worst undermining our own authority by changing our minds. The paradox of that is that there is no better expression of authority to making a change due to changing circumstances or the realization that you didn't do enough due diligence before making a decision.
-Heather Frazier, Pivot Parenting Podcast
Episode 40 explores the need for black and brown parents to revise the parenting strategies we've leaned on for centuries. Our conservatism that served us so well in the 20th century have helped us keep our children safe in a world hellbent on their demise. However, those strategies do NOT help us raise adults who will have the skills they need to navigate life in a global community. We have to recognize the world our children will 'adult' in is starkly different from the one we are currently 'adulting' in. So how can we continue to use the exact same tools and mindset in our parenting that was used to move us into adulthood? The truth is we undermine our authority with our children when we are restrictive and unmoving. The choke hold placed on kids is what threatens your relationship with your children. When you do more due diligence, when you open yourself up to the possibility that what has always been is not what will always be, you build and solidify the bridge between you and your child.
Rules to Pivoting in Parenting:
1. Pay attention to your child. Remind yourself that who they were at 7 will not be who they are at 12 or 14. Pay attention to the changes they are making in their values and ideas.
2. Get to know the people your child surrounds themselves with both in person and virtually. Most kids in the 21st century who virtual friendships that are completely different from the friends they are around in person.
3. Realize that your child's virtual life is just as vibrant and important to them as their 'real' life. Group chats, direct messaging, gaming squads, are communities that your child is engaged in. They may have a different persona that they take on in each community they navigate.
4. Evaluate if the culture of the spaces you allow your child in aligns with your values and culture or are in alignment with who your child is evolving in to.
5. Remember you can do this!
Other resources to check out:
https://danahirtparenting.com/new-blog/2018/2/9/how-to-pivot-when-changing-parenting-rules
https://www.blackgirlspivot.com/
https://heatherfrazier.com/podcast/