Episode 85: Get this if your kid is screaming FOMO with texting friends!

The Be THAT Mom Movement Podcast: Protecting kids in a digital world

Fear of missing out is real, and exponentially more intense in our kid's digitally connected world. Check out this option for an alternative to the phone!

Be sure to check out my Be THAT Mom Movement Method course coming out soon for more tips on handling the Fear of Missing Out dilemma!

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MOM WELLNESS TOOLS:

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Full Transcription:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

It's classic. We've all heard it. Right. But mom so-and-so has this, or, but mom I'm being left out because I don't have the ability to chat with my friends. We've heard it. And it's probably the thing that makes so many of us cave when it comes to giving a phone or allowing social media today, I'm going to chat about a few practical tips to help you approach that with your kiddo. And then I'm going to give you one option. That is a relatively new thing that I've learned about. That could be your saving grace. If you're not ready yet to give them a phone, even a dumb smartphone or a watch or anything like that. So stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:44):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 1 (01:10):

Hey friends, did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. So before I jump into the topic for today, I just want to say thank you so much for all of you that have jumped in to the digital wellness summit that I've posted or mentioned in my last couple of episodes, the link is still in the show notes.

Speaker 1 (02:00):

It is still live. It's going to be good for a good six months to a year after the actual date of the event. And I cannot emphasize enough how much experience comes to the table when we created this, there are so many different backgrounds and educations of the speakers. And so it's a great resource for you. And especially if you have multiple kids, different ages, all of that, it's just a great resource. So if you haven't grabbed it yet, click the link in the show notes and you can get your all access pass for that. And there's all kinds of extra bonuses and things to help you out there. So thank you for those of you that have already opted into that. And if you haven't yet, the link is still live. So click on that and grab that today. Okay. So other thing I want to mention is that I've mentioned this in a couple of episodes about my wellness coaching and my fit club that I run.

Speaker 1 (02:50):

It's a virtual group, and we use tools created by a company that puts out amazing things that are so effective. And I know that this is a podcast all about helping you with your kids, but you have so much power when you help yourself first. And so I just want to emphasize if you haven't joined that or checked that out yet, please get in touch with me. It has such a gift within it that pays you back over and over and over in your health, not only in your health, but also in the trickle down effect that you will see in the example that you set for your kids. So if you're struggling in the world today, which is kind of handling all of the things, when you have a place for you to stand to prioritize yourself, and when you feel good in your skin, it has such an amazing power from inside.

Speaker 1 (03:38):

You radiating outward. So definitely get in touch with me and I can chat with you about the different options I have for that and connect you with my community of women that are just amazing. And right now they are so on fire with motivation and momentum in what they're doing. And it's just an amazing thing to see. So as a nurse practitioner and someone who's so passionate about our own health and our own wellness, and really taking that power within ourselves and empowering ourselves to be healthy from within is just not something that I can go without mentioning for too long. So please check out the links in the show notes for that, or get in touch with me via [e-mail]. And I can get you more information about that and how it can help you. Okay. Okay. So fear of missing out. It is a real thing and it has been around for forever, but when it is combined with all of the digital things, all of this shiny objects and all of the really convenient ways to get in touch with and keep in touch with friends, it is like FOMO on steroids, right?

Speaker 1 (04:45):

Like, I don't know if that's the most appropriate way to say it, but basically fear of missing out. It's not new. We had it when we were kids. When we knew that someone had, you know, got a certain toy or gift or get got to go do something that we wanted to do. And we had that jealousy there. Right. And, you know, we figured out how to deal with it. But when it comes to the digital things like holy cow, how do we deal with this? When all of the other friends have phones and are in these group chats and are getting to stay connected and our kid doesn't have a phone and how do they stay connected? And we don't want to give them access to the entire world. So first off, the first tip that I can give for this type of situation is texts all of those other moms and say they are grounded for life.

Speaker 1 (05:39):

Like I am serious. This would not be an issue. If we were all on the same page, why can we not be on the same page with this? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Okay. We all got to make our own decisions and what we decide may be different than someone else. And ultimately that is okay. We just got to figure out how to navigate it for our kiddo. And so, yes, the, my first tip is text the other moms and say they are grounded for life. The second thing is just to help educate them on the risks and the dangers of giving these devices without any type of monitoring and limitations. But the third thing that I want to mention is what I discovered, and that is Google voice. Have you heard of Google voice? I had never heard of it. So it's actually something that you sign up with.

Speaker 1 (06:29):

Mike, the Google suite of things, you know, like Google drive, Google forms, Google all of the Google things. So if you go in, like if you have Gmail, you can click on there and it has all of the different things, or just Google, Google voice. I'm going to start sounding like really weird saying Google 10,000 times. But if you look up Google voice, what Google voice is, is called official name, it's called voice over internet protocol service. So V O I P service. So if you are, I don't know if this is available everywhere or if it's just like where I am in the U S and Canada, but if you're in another country and this isn't available to you look for voice over internet protocol services, and you'll be able to find some other ones. I did find some other ones, but I do think Google voice is a good setup for a kiddo because some of the other ones, you pay a monthly fee, which you could do that.

Speaker 1 (07:32):

Most, some of them are really inexpensive, but just to have this as a way to be in a group, chat with other kids, this is really, really cool because you don't have to have a phone in order to get it. And you also aren't charged any fees. So you basically, what, the way they have it set up. And what it's for is for businesses that maybe want to have a separate phone number for their business, but use the same phone instead of carrying multiple phones around. Right. But you can do this without a phone. So you can set it up to where they have a phone number, but it's accessed on a computer. So if you have your house set up to where you are, letting them use a computer, this is a way for them to be able to communicate with their friends in a group text without having to give them a phone.

Speaker 1 (08:26):

So if we think about the, what are the advantages of that? You know, I think that giving a phone is okay, especially a dumb smartphone or the watches or those types of things. Those things are okay. If you are ready to do that, and you are ready to help guide them in that process to help learn how to use it responsibly, right? But if you are not wanting to give that phone, this is a way to do that. And some of the things that I noticed with my kids and other parents mentioned too, is in when you give that phone, if it's not the dumb smartphones, but an actual smartphone, even if it's very well locked down, it's a time suck, right? Like it's like a thing that they carry around that they're looking at all of the time and that sucks them in to where it's sucking them away from real life experiences.

Speaker 1 (09:20):

So there are things that go along with the phone, do you may not necessarily want to give them, and in that case, this Google voice is a really, really cool option. Now I tried to look and see, you know, I talk about all the time about the, you have to look at whether or not someone can, like someone from the outside world can get in and access your kiddo and try to prey upon them in some way, always have to consider those things. And when I tried to research them, I don't see any risks such as that if you are using or allowing them to use it supervised, right. I don't see any risks like that. But as always, I caution you that anything that is connected digitally has that risk inherently there, regardless of what it is. So proceed with caution with it. But I really just wanted to mention it.

Speaker 1 (10:15):

And as an option for you to deal with that whole FOMO conversation, when it is revolving around, I have all these friends that have phones and are in this group text, and this is the way that we communicate. And I keep being left out of these conversations. This is a way for you to be able to get around and maybe delay the whole phone thing for a little while. Is that not cool? I think it is the coolest thing. Now I did find a couple of other options. In addition to Google voice, some of the, I was kind of looking for like critics of Google voice and seeing if there were like drawbacks to it. And it's basically from the perspective of it being used for a small business, that it's possible that they will discontinue Google voice before too long. And then that it does not have like a support line if you have glitches there's oh, it does say there's no signups outside of the U S so if you're outside of the U S like I said, just look for that voice over internet protocol service, and see if there's something like that where you live.

Speaker 1 (11:21):

But some of the other things that are mentioned in here is just that it's basically drawbacks for someone who is wanting to use it for business, but, and you can, so you can make phone calls with it, but you can also text. So that's where this comes in. If they're wanting to be in their group text, and it also keeps them off of the addictive phone, it keeps that phone out of their pocket. It keeps you from having to deal with the push and pull that sometimes comes with the phone in terms of when and where they can use it and all of those things. So that I think is just mega awesome. And so that is why I wanted to bring this to your attention. Like I know it probably has some negative things to it. I know it's not perfect. And maybe that this them being on their computer and using it will open up other doors for things that you have to be concerned about, such as them being on a browser on the computer and being tempted to look at other things.

Speaker 1 (12:19):

But if you can somehow regulate that by perhaps having them use it on a locked down or limited use iPad or whatever limitations you want to send in place. I still think it's a great option versus giving them a phone if they're super young. Okay. So I hope you found this helpful. And I was really excited when I stumbled across this. So like, oh my God, I need to write this down. And I need to share this on the podcast. And so I was looking for alternatives and there are some alternatives that aren't with Google. One is called open phone. And that really seems like the only option that would be like a good option for you just using it for a kid. The other reviews that I found were based on someone using it for a business and all of the plus and minuses of using it for business, but just for your kid, being able to group text open phone does look like it's a good option and has the, the group texting and those types of things.

Speaker 1 (13:15):

But it does cost. It looks like it's $10 per month for a number. So definitely still inexpensive, but Google voice is free of charge, I believe at this time. Okay. So hope you found this super helpful, and I hope everything in your world is going well. And certainly get in touch with me. If you have any other topics you'd like to discuss. If you have a unique experience, a success story with how you're managing the, all of the digital things, I would love to hear from you love to feature a few moms on the podcast. If you would like to share your story can do it anonymous if you want. So reach out to [e-mail] and put in the subject line of your email, that you are a listener of the podcast, and that you have an idea for a show or want to share with me your story. So I don't miss your email in all of the emails that hit my inbox each day. So can't wait to hear from you and I hope you're doing great. And I will chat with you again next week. Have a good one.

Speaker 2 (14:20):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time

Speaker 1 (14:34):

Either before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up everyday, take care of yourself first, so that you could be better present for our digital native.