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17. Ex-mas Calm after the Divorce Storm
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Last week, I went through the logistics of holiday planning post-divorce. However, dealing with a tricky ex and managing the emotional rollercoaster during the festive season is far from a dreamy cocktail.... definitely no Cosmo (or even a Snowball - who remembers them?!)
So this week, I'm exploring a bit about the mechanics of our nervous system and going through some practical techniques to stay calm, collected, and at peace when we might be triggered by our ex over Christmas.
I go through the basics of the sympathetic nervous system (and fight, flight, freeze) and then the parasympathetic nervous system, introducing the ventral vagal nerve.
Then I talk through some ways to get ourselves back to a safe place in our bodies when we are faced with a trigger and a trauma response, particularly from a challenging ex-partner.
So, techniques such as mindful breathing, humming, and VOO breathing.... as well as grounding techniques, and creating an anchor point.
The goal is to practice these strategies, preparing the body to respond to triggers in a way that promotes calmness and safety.
My aim is for you to have a peaceful, calm and even enjoyable Christmas after divorce.
Wishing you so much love for the festive season, wherever you are at, and thank you so very much, as always, for listening into the Divorce Chapter podcast
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Chapters
1. Hardly the Christmas cocktail of choice (00:00:00)
2. The basics of the Nervous System for when we are triggered AF (00:02:19)
3. The Lion and the tasty looking Zebra (00:03:39)
4. Fight, Flight, Freeze 101 (00:06:24)
5. All things Ventral Vagus and self-soothing (00:08:30)
6. Where do you feel it? Awareness first (00:10:45)
7. Yes I know you know how to breathe.... BUT.... (00:11:52)
8. The physiological sigh (00:14:35)
9. Humming Jingle Bells (00:15:10)
10. VOOOOO like a foghorn (00:16:03)
11. Just try it Nan Nan (00:17:34)
12. 54321 for Grounding (00:19:08)
13. Anchor (for when you're up against the W-anchor!) (00:21:12)
14. Grounding in the loo aka meditation (00:23:14)
15. Ice Ice baby (00:23:46)
16. From not giving a festive f*** to festive calm (00:24:33)
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