3 Truths That Shifted Everything When it Comes to Binge Eating (and How Internal Family Systems Helped Me)

The Innovative Therapist

Episode 117. In today’s solo episode, I’m going to share some of my healing journey and a bit of an update about where I’m a today. This will include reflecting back on what really helped me heal from binge eating disorder and the chronic dieting cycle, as well as what continues to help me build trust with myself today as I work to build a life that’s aligned, joyful, and helps me avoid feelings of regret (as much as possible, since regret is a valuable teacher!).

I’ll cover how Internal Family Systems has factored into this for me over the past 2 years, and how this model really helps me understand healing on a whole other level, even before I learned it.

I’ve gotten a few questions lately basically asking me, “Given our culture, what’s truly possible when it comes to trusting myself with eating decisions?”

I also have been reflecting on how overall I feel more self trust than I ever have in various decisions, so I’d like to walk through some of the steps that helped me get there, with examples of how I shifted my relationship to food in the past and how I’m now learning to apply it to my podcast and other aspects of my business.

Without further ado, let’s dive in!

But First, Words of Wisdom

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

– Maya Angelou

3 Truths That Shifted Everything When It Comes to Binge Eating & Self Trust

• Truly Understanding What Restriction is and How to Stop It. I’ve been reflecting lately on what helped me heal from binge eating disorder. For the part of me that restricted (and for those who don’t know my story it wasn’t extreme restriction in any way, basically I was just following advice I’d get from plans like WW), it really took around 13 years of trying before that part finally realized it’s well-intentioned efforts were not working at all. Things to note: I had a lot of factors that made this healing journey easier for me, and still do to this day, most notably size privilege among many others.
• Continuing Until You Get to the Root Cause. I actually didn’t really do this, well not until many years later when becoming a mom pushed me to do more healing. It’s so common to exchange one protective part for another. No longer restricting or binge eating, but maybe occasionally using food to cope (without guilt, but still avoiding the underlying feeling), or overworking, or finding ways to avoid triggers (e.g., sometimes people will develop parts of them that really just compartmentalize, and bring all of their emotions and shame to therapy, which is great, but they are still disconnecting from the pain outside of the one hour a week which doesn’t feel great to them).

• Knowing that Deeper Healing and Releasing Beliefs is Actually Possible (Even Though the World Ain’t Changing Anytime Soon). This is the part that IFS really helped with for me. I think for so many of us, we just deeply believe that we will always have parts of us that hold shame and beliefs like “I’m not enough” that get triggered by various things, anything from glancing in a mirror to making a mistake in a meeting. It’s important to note here, that there are many different ways to heal parts of ourselves outside of therapy too. Sometimes being in certain social groups, participating in certain group or solo activities, or other environments can heal parts of us in ways we don’t even know we needed or maybe even understand at the time. For example, maybe finding a great therapist is your next step in pursing healing, but maybe it’s finding an amazing local community of artists and taking up painting, or maybe finding a group that likes bird watching, or maybe it’s taking an online class about writing a fiction book. I have no idea what it is, but there are many paths to healing. Listen to yourself about what you truly yearn for, and see if you can trust yourself to make the investment in yourself that feels right for you.

Wanting more support beyond these podcasts?

• I am currently accepting new therapy clients if you live in one of these 40 states in the US
• My rate for an intake session is $220 and for a 45 minute follow up is $195
• If interested in learning more, including my availability and details about my practice, email me at [e-mail] or call 616-227-0001
• Or if you are a therapist of helping professional looking to connect in community and learn more about or experience the IFS model, get on my email list here and/or email me at [e-mail] to introduce yourself!

“I know I shouldn’t focus on weight loss, but…” (Polarized Parts Alert!)

Are you feeling unsure how to guide a client who wants to improve their relationship with food, but also wants to lose weight?

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This is hands-down one of the best ways I’ve found to help support client autonomy and build self-trust at the same time. I can’t wait to share it with you!

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Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider-patient relationship.