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TLP278: Passive-Aggression is Toxic
Manage episode 305598949 series 1888705
The Leadership Podcast co-hosts cover passive-aggressive behavior at work: Why it occurs; the toxic effect it has on people and the environment; ways to recognize it; and how to alter the conversation for a healthier culture.
Key Takeaways
[1:35] If you’ve got a question or an issue, just reach out to either Jim and Jan and they probably have a podcast episode to recommend to you!
[2:50] Overview of passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace.
[3:20] Some people read sarcastic statements as passive-aggressive statements.
[4:15] The definition of passive-aggressive behavior.
[5:35] Passive-aggressive behavior often occurs among exceptionally smart people with a low tolerance for others not living up to their standard.
[9:10] Examples of what it looks like to be passive-aggressive.
[11:10] Our brains can only handle about 150 relationships, yet we ask so much from our people when they’re in 1,000-plus corporations. It’s hard to keep up with everything.
[12:10] Leaders are not thinking intentionally about how they want people to feel after they’ve interacted with them.
[13:45] Some leaders just want to be known as “nice.” Passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t fit into that narrative.
[18:10] The drama triangle explained.
[20:05] At the end of the day, you gotta work with everybody. You don’t have to like them, but you have to work with them.
[24:50] Our brains shrink when we’re grumpy! Practice joy instead.
[25:45] How to make people feel cared for at work.
[29:45] Most people aren’t trained to deal with deep-seated issues or problems, so leaders need to step in, be attentive, and guide their people through. You do that by providing your perspective, asking open-ended questions, and practicing active listening.
[32:05] “Are you operating with a sense of grace?”
[34:05] Give your fellow human the benefit of the doubt. They’re doing the best they can. We all are.
[36:10] We used to live in a complicated world. We now live in a complex world.
[36:40] The one thing we can control is being nice to one another.
Quotable Quotes
- “It’s really not safe to use sarcasm with someone you don’t know really, really well.”
- “Are these people going to be elevated and flourish under your interaction or are they going to be demoralized?”
- “You’ve gotta work with everybody. You’ve got to get along. You don’t have to like everyone, but you’ve got to work with everybody.”
- “What’s the legacy of each interaction I want to have? How do I want them to feel after I interact with them?”
Resources Mentioned
- Sponsored by: Darley.com
- Karpman Drama Triangle
457 episodes
Manage episode 305598949 series 1888705
The Leadership Podcast co-hosts cover passive-aggressive behavior at work: Why it occurs; the toxic effect it has on people and the environment; ways to recognize it; and how to alter the conversation for a healthier culture.
Key Takeaways
[1:35] If you’ve got a question or an issue, just reach out to either Jim and Jan and they probably have a podcast episode to recommend to you!
[2:50] Overview of passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace.
[3:20] Some people read sarcastic statements as passive-aggressive statements.
[4:15] The definition of passive-aggressive behavior.
[5:35] Passive-aggressive behavior often occurs among exceptionally smart people with a low tolerance for others not living up to their standard.
[9:10] Examples of what it looks like to be passive-aggressive.
[11:10] Our brains can only handle about 150 relationships, yet we ask so much from our people when they’re in 1,000-plus corporations. It’s hard to keep up with everything.
[12:10] Leaders are not thinking intentionally about how they want people to feel after they’ve interacted with them.
[13:45] Some leaders just want to be known as “nice.” Passive-aggressive behavior doesn’t fit into that narrative.
[18:10] The drama triangle explained.
[20:05] At the end of the day, you gotta work with everybody. You don’t have to like them, but you have to work with them.
[24:50] Our brains shrink when we’re grumpy! Practice joy instead.
[25:45] How to make people feel cared for at work.
[29:45] Most people aren’t trained to deal with deep-seated issues or problems, so leaders need to step in, be attentive, and guide their people through. You do that by providing your perspective, asking open-ended questions, and practicing active listening.
[32:05] “Are you operating with a sense of grace?”
[34:05] Give your fellow human the benefit of the doubt. They’re doing the best they can. We all are.
[36:10] We used to live in a complicated world. We now live in a complex world.
[36:40] The one thing we can control is being nice to one another.
Quotable Quotes
- “It’s really not safe to use sarcasm with someone you don’t know really, really well.”
- “Are these people going to be elevated and flourish under your interaction or are they going to be demoralized?”
- “You’ve gotta work with everybody. You’ve got to get along. You don’t have to like everyone, but you’ve got to work with everybody.”
- “What’s the legacy of each interaction I want to have? How do I want them to feel after I interact with them?”
Resources Mentioned
- Sponsored by: Darley.com
- Karpman Drama Triangle
457 episodes
All episodes
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