A Chia Pet That Didn’t Work

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

#Cinema #Mr Selfridge #Kelly And Tom

28:39

For centuries, members of the B’doul Bedouin tribe lived in the caves around the ancient city of Petra, Jordan. Then, in the 1980s, the government forced the tribe to move in the name of preserving the geological site for tourists. But if the residents are forced to leave, and if their heritage has been permanently changed, then what exactly is being preserved? SHOW NOTES: Meet The Man Living in The Lost City Carved in Stone Jordan: Petra's tourism authority cracks down on Bedouin cave dwellers The tribes paying the brutal price of conservation “There is no future for Umm Sayhoun” Jordan’s Young Bedouins Are Documenting Their Traditions on TikTok Check out Sami's company Jordan Inspiration Tours Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices…

10 years ago 1:14:37

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Kelly & Tom say well-done Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E8. They speculate about monogamy amongst cavemen, root actively for Faircut and against Ceorge, wonder if Loxley’s new cronies are just Neil Gaiman characters in the wrong story, cheer as Fake Doris serves up some serious working class realness, wonder what the heck Gerrard does all day, harken back to the psychic powers of the Earl of Grantham, and continue to talk smack about New New Gordon’s kissing technique. Kelly gets her Dalek on, Tom wishes for a Selfridge/Mad Men crossover, and everyone agrees that love rarely conquers anything.

34 episodes

A Chia Pet That Didn’t Work

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

published 10 years ago

MP3•Episode home

Fetch error

Hmmm there seems to be a problem fetching this series right now. Last successful fetch was on June 22, 2022 04:09 (3y ago)

34 episodes

#Cinema #Mr Selfridge #Kelly And Tom

All episodes

1
The Godsomething 49:50

8 years ago49:50

49:50

Kelly & Tom dip into their bottomless well of floozy jokes for their recap of the final episode of Mr. Selfridge . They speculate on the George Towler/baby intelligence continuum, wish Lady Mae would join a sort of Parisian First Wives’ Club, chat about Trading Spaces , continue whining about the absence of Beatrice, declare Mr. Selfridge the Jimmy Fallon of retail magnates, don’t recognize Meryl, and come up with a Selfridge Babies spin-off. Kelly loves casseroles, Tom wishes the IRA still did fun stuff, and everyone laments the dear, departed tea emporium.…

1
Seven Brides For Seven Selfridges 41:43

8 years ago41:43

41:43

Kelly and Tom soldier bravely on through their recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E9. They are pretty sure time is still a flat circle, George Towler is still a super genius, Alan Greenspan gets name-checked, Mr. Grove is cross from beyond the grave, and Eyebrows has a brand-new bag. Kelly can’t remember the name of the book Mr. Selfridge is based on, Tom discovers Circopedia.com, and everyone continues to make fun of Jeremy Piven’s mercury poisoning.…

1
One Department, One Man! 48:51

8 years ago48:51

48:51

In this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E8, Kelly and Tom really lay into Eyeliner for pretending to solve racism. They finally bid Mr. Grove a not particularly fond farewell, wonder why New New Gordon’s kids are wearing dresses, applaud Mr. Crabb’s business reasons, and continue to marvel at Jimmy Dillon’s swank apartment from the 1980s. Kelly correctly identifies morphine, Tom explains how to win a Newbery medal, and everyone gathers for drinks at the Nepotists’ Lounge.…

1
Queen Blanket-For-A-Face 44:45

8 years ago44:45

44:45

Kelly & Tom shout a list of the most British things they know in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E7. They also shout NO at Lady Mae and Kitty a bunch of times, encourage Mr. Selfridge to finally hire a lawyer, talk smack about Spinner from Degrassi, and briefly experience actual feelings. Kelly invents Floozies Anonymous, Tom makes a reservation for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, and everyone wonders how this series can keep getting worse.…

1
Goons Are People Too 58:48

8 years ago58:48

58:48

Kelly & Tom shout a collective “WTF” in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E6. They marvel at the Picture of Dorian’s Uncle, wonder how much actual time has passed this season, question Fraser’s fitness as butler, gloat as Mr. Selfridge finally has to pay his bill, and nominate a much better head of security than George Towler. Kelly lets loose her opinions on Gilmore Girls, Tom explains how Europe works, and the drop waist continues its tyranny.…

1
Stop Confusing Our Baby! 56:45

8 years ago56:45

56:45

Kelly & Tom record their recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E5 live from a Burger King! Not really, but what an idea! They continue to not do their research as Bumby Wallace makes his stunning, fictional debut, Harry continues to not pay his bills, the shambling corpse of Grardle lurches on, Meryl continues to not be able to act in either a literal or meta sense, there is a severe lack of Tillie AND Beatrice, and George Towler: Medical Experiment continues unabated. Kelly name-checks Tuck Everlasting, Tom compliments a damn fine egg, and everyone agrees there must always be a Winslow in Chicago.…

1
First Rule of Rumpelstiltskin 1:02:18

8 years ago1:02:18

1:02:18

Kelly & Tom choose to be…a Ritz in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E4. They confirm that they are not watching Game of Thrones, have numerous criticisms of AA Milne and Christopher Robin, criticize Mustache’s life choices, wish for a Mardle/Kitty spin-off, and talk even more smack about floozies. Kelly reveals her favorite phone number, Tom reveals that Bob is his uncle, and everyone looks forward to the publication of “Crabbe makes a call.”…

1
Automatic Bzooty, Chapter 1, Verse 5 1:06:40

8 years ago1:06:40

1:06:40

Kelly and Tom establish a trust with Mr. Selfridge S4E3, because they like to gamble like rich people. They also breathe a sigh of relief about Kitty’s childbearing prospects, hate Meryl AND Mr. Grove, confuse Violette for Rosalie, continue to question why Mr. Selfridge is drinking so much, marvel at Elizabeth Arden’s messy suite, wonder if Chekhov’s Philandering Pilot will ever show up, and everyone tries to name all the gingers on the show.…

1
Nothing Worse Than a Tardy Floozy 1:03:58

8 years ago1:03:58

1:03:58

Kelly and Tom realize that S4E2 of Mr. Selfridge is as far as they watched, so it’s all new to them from here on out. They feel that the credits music is getting more and more inappropriate each week, clock two named black characters in the episode (good job, Eyeliner; your move, Baron Julian), lament the loss of the tea emporium alongside Mr. Crabbe, look disapprovingly at the Artful Porter’s development, and say goodbye to a mostly beloved character as Harry goes on and on and on……

1
I’m Glad We’re Living In the Crap Age 1:00:31

8 years ago1:00:31

1:00:31

Kelly and Tom return at last with their very belated coverage of Mr. Selfridge S4E1! They struggle to remember why they hated this season so very much, herald the return of Lady Mae, welcome two brand new floozies and a very ugly mug, lament the continued absence of Miss Towler and Monsieur LeClair, plan to see Harry “next fall,”and everyone demands to know when we can expect Our Dark Mistress Beatrice to finally darken the doors of Selfridge’s once more in accordance with the prophecy.…

1
Next Stop: Oz 2:12:19

10 years ago2:12:19

2:12:19

Kelly & Tom wrap up Mr. Selfridge S3E9 and E10 in this supersized recap (thanks to Viking River Cruises, we assume). They identify the YouTube commenters of post WWI Britain, make merciless fun of Gordons Dumb, New, and New New, cheer Mr. Crabb’s vulgarity, explore the limits of the Defence of the Realm Act, ask important questions about a certain family’s barbecue, and try to get a baccarat prescription. Kelly talks about opium far too much,Tom tries to explain about Sam Neill, and everyone fervently prays for the return of Our Dark Mistress Beatrice Selfridge in Series 4.…

1
A Chia Pet That Didn’t Work 1:14:37

10 years ago1:14:37

1:14:37

Kelly & Tom say well-done Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E8. They speculate about monogamy amongst cavemen, root actively for Faircut and against Ceorge, wonder if Loxley’s new cronies are just Neil Gaiman characters in the wrong story, cheer as Fake Doris serves up some serious working class realness, wonder what the heck Gerrard does all day, harken back to the psychic powers of the Earl of Grantham, and continue to talk smack about New New Gordon’s kissing technique. Kelly gets her Dalek on, Tom wishes for a Selfridge / Mad Men crossover, and everyone agrees that love rarely conquers anything.…

1
Buddy Hackett Is Just Imaginary 1:19:17

10 years ago1:19:17

1:19:17

Eyeliner rides again (in a new car!) as Kelly & Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E7. They reveal the first rule of baby daddy club, offer shares in Pets.Commissary, declare themselves fans of Regan, give some admittedly useless marital advice to Harry & Rose, grant Matthew Crawley a surprise cameo, kick a cokehead out of their apartment, and demand The Continuing Adventures of Haircut. Kelly plugs her (fake) one-woman show, Tom plugs his (fake) new podcast, and they both hope to be rewarded for their excellent production values.…

1
Knickers Are Your Friend 1:18:19

10 years ago1:18:19

1:18:19

It’s another Eyeliner of an episode as Kelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E6. This time, they discover the Elliott Stabler of Selfridge’s, sleeves that do not roll, Sergei looking like a hatrack or something, sexy telegrams, Loxley’s villainous competence, the Dowager Countess’ Shame Baby, Harry’s Nailin’ It scrapbook, and the return of Violette’s Couch Cape of Seduction. Kelly can’t believe you’re all still standing for the intro, Tom encourages people to “be cool,” and everyone remembers the importance of bribing the liquor control board.…

1
The Debts Are Coming From Inside The House 1:20:46

10 years ago1:20:46

1:20:46

Kelly and Tom finally catch up to PBS with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E5, no thanks to Viking River Cruises! The Homely Architect drops a bombshell, New New Gordon outs himself as history’s worst kisser, Moustache’s soft hands are in jeopardy, Shame Baby’s origin story is finally revealed, and everyone gets Mardled. Tom’s a bit under the weather, Kelly waxes nostalgic about Reel Big Fish, and a dedicated Customer educates us about the Princess Wiz-Waz’s alleged heritage .ALL HAIL THE RETURN OF BEATRICE’S DEVIL CHILD PORTRAIT.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
The Probate Porch, Starring Tom Schneider And Art Carney 1:00:20

10 years ago1:00:20

1:00:20

Kelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E4 and marvel at Violettes’ theatricality, debate the merits of mutton, decide who the Heisenberg of Selfridges’ is, talk a lot about The Honeymooners , wonder if the Homely Architect is a Hufflepuff, and applaud the shockingly effective sexiness of Fat Thomas. Tom discovers that politics are hard, Kelly thinks Mardle and Grove are totally going to bang, and everyone agrees that ours is not to reason Whyliner.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Wasting All The Peas 1:05:19

10 years ago1:05:19

1:05:19

Kelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E3, which continues this season’s trend of being dark and awesome. Shipping New New Gordon and Fake Doris finally pays off, Mustache gets up to some weird facial hair editing, George Towler continues to live out the plot of “Flowers for Algernon,” and Violette begins the exciting journey of sleeping her way to the bottom! Everyone feels bad that Ma gets stuck with such a crappy storyline, but console themselves with a new signoff and their terrific new startup idea: AirBnB for auctions!…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Life On The Surface Is Harsh 1:10:05

10 years ago1:10:05

1:10:05

Kelly and Tom very nearly have their sign on and sign off sorted out in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E2, which is a good thing, because they also have a lot of reactions to what is happening on the show. They are skeptical of the Russians’ Russianness, intrigued by the introduction of Mean Fat Thomas, applaud the fudgy burns of Keebler, wonder how boards of things work, decide that the LeClair’s honeymoon is an Outlander situation waiting to happen, come up with a new name for Conehead, worry that Mr. Crabb is going to off himself, and recount the adventures of the Towler Prowler! No Ellen Love Letters this week, so be sure to write a bunch for upcoming episodes!…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Long Live The New Propeller 1:26:30

10 years ago1:26:30

1:26:30

Kelly and Tom kick off their first podcast spinoff with this recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E1! Despite a severe lack of our Dark Mistress Beatrice and no sign of Lady Mae or BLENKINSOPP, the episode delivers on all the old favorites–plenty of Piven, many mustaches, husbands behaving horribly, Fat Thomas making terrible life choices, the wit and wisdom of the Artful Porter, plus Dorises Classic and Fake. This season looks to be significantly darker than the previous two, on account of things being different than they were before the war, but Kelly and Tom keep it light with their trademark banter and the introduction of both Ellen Love Letters and the Selfridge Awards (aka “The Selfies).…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Lizard Prison 1:20:26

11 years ago1:20:26

1:20:26

It’s time to close the doors on S2 of Mr. Selfridge , but not without one last recap from Kelly & Tom. They wonder how many tricks Fat Thomas turned to pay for Agnes’ engagement ring, hope Eyeliner will include more store windows next year, guess wildly at Mrs. Selfridge’s never explained diagnosis, tell Mr. Grove to slow his ginger roll, speculate on the size of Loxley’s lizard, celebrate “I’m Glad I’m Rich Day,” give Ma Selfridge a new nickname, and order up some steamed Plunkett for lunch. All this, plus Kelly thinks about “Circle of Friends” again, Tom provides Cultural Cliffs Notes, and everyone hopes the next series jumps to the end of WWI because we’re all sick to death of the trenches! See everyone in two weeks for the kickoff of the UYDS Empire Exhibition!…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
That Cravat Is Unacceptable! 1:04:55

11 years ago1:04:55

1:04:55

Kelly and Tom scoop themselves in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E9. They also decipher Harry’s social schedule, uncover the identity of Edwardian Deep Throat, lament the declining standards at the Palm Court, reveal some Belgian sex tips, discover a new weasel, ponder The Spirit Of Blank, and continue pining for the stick poking kid. Kelly announces a new sponsorship, Tom criticizes Nicole Kidman, and everybody high fives at the triumphant return of Blenkinsop.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
The International Brotherhood of Magical Mannequins 1:14:26

11 years ago1:14:26

1:14:26

As the finale rapidly approaches, Kelly & Tom can’t wait to see what happens next. In the meantime, their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E8 covers a variety of not-entirely awful American accents, the Rhett Butler of the West End, New Gordon’s unrelenting dweebiness, a message from the Tillie Foundation, how to succeed in business (if you’re Delphine), trucks full of eyeliner, a creepy, knuckle-eating lizard, royalty payments to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the intricacies of Bootgate, refugee stuff, and the possibility that Kitty Hawkins is actually a living doll. Kelly plans to change her name, Tom sums up the entirety of Are You Being Served? in a single sentence, and they both advocate strongly for the asterisk technique.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
A Spitting Mad Weasel 1:08:34

11 years ago1:08:34

1:08:34

Kelly & Tom are completely Crabbestruck in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E7. They also get paid by the Oliver! reference, confirm that Beatrice sees all, cheer Agnes’ excellent relationship skills, hope for the return of that stick-poking kid, get completely squicked out by Mr. Grove’s urges, declare The Plunkett to be Edwardian tech support, and are disappointed by Monsieur LeClair for the first time. Kelly refuses to sing Big Bill Summertime’s song, Tom wants some Bovril curry, and no one should ever take a bath.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
The Charlie Chaplins of the Sky 1:17:54

11 years ago1:17:54

1:17:54

Kelly & Tom laugh at a lot of inappropriate moments in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E6. They also christen a Conehead, launch the good ‘ship Malorian, tell Monsieur LeClair to get his shit together, provide ill-informed book reviews, beg Beyonce to write a song about women of independent means, bet on Kitty Hawkins in a rap battle, lament the total lack of sexual chemistry between Delphine and Harry, and have a Doris Classic sighting. Kelly makes Tom laugh really hard, Tom hates the Victorian era, and everyone finally learns what’s up with those weird British bank notes.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Look Out, Royal Baby! 1:17:27

11 years ago1:17:27

1:17:27

Kelly & Tom go back to the tea emporium in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E5, but they can only podcast while riding a bus that’s pulling away. They meet the Artful Porter, suspect Eyeliner of being a Bond villain AND Judi Dench, realize that all violins look like a naked lady’s back, fall in love with Mr. Crabbe, get excited to dine at Fat Thomas’s fictional restaurant, and worry that someone might try to kill WWI era Germans during WWII by mistake. Kelly busts out her McG impression, Tom is not being paid by Snacky Smores, and everyone is well aware that the poker game is no limit.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Can I Bring My Own Dance Belt? 1:17:02

11 years ago1:17:02

1:17:02

Kelly & Tom deliver yet another AP English-heavy recap for Mr. Selfridge S2E4. They declare Rose to be the Columbus, OH of people, demand more screentime for Lurch, speculate about Beatrice’s claim to immortality, find themselves fascinated by the Horny Chocolatier, identify French slut-shaming as the glue that held the British Empire together, wonder why New Gordon is 34, and try to keep Fat Thomas from sticking his fat nose in places. Kelly explains the finer points of retail hierarchy, Tom looks at Young Indiana Jones, and everyone struggles to pronounce “Gio.”…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
If Carmen Sandiego Could See Us Now 1:35:31

11 years ago1:35:31

1:35:31

In their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E3, Kelly & Tom are shockingly won over by Mr. Grove’s gettin’ it done montage, find New Gordon’s pornography unimpressive, discuss how tigers like their afternoon tea, rejoice at Mr. Leclair’s return to retail, wonder what Pimble gets up to, express concern that Harry wants a drink, imagine Eyeliner’s various delusions of grandeur, and gaze upon The Picture of Dorian’s Hair. Kelly hasn’t seen enough Golden Girls , Tom wants a job at the Palm Court, and, once again, everyone agrees that things were different before the war.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
The Baby Battalion of 1915 1:16:53

11 years ago1:16:53

1:16:53

Kelly & Tom recover from tax season with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E2. They speculate that Miss Towler may be experiencing Goblin King-related interference, point out that New Gordon is no Charlie Chaplin, elucidate Jeremy Piven’s internal monologue, count all the horrible things that should be highlighted in a British “Empire” exhibition, suggest the Lord Loxley Award for Horrible Behavior, discover the legend of Tubby Isaac’s, and gleefully welcome back Monsieur Hobo Beard LeClair. Kelly writes a Lifehacker article, Tom says “GOOD GOD!,” and everyone worries that the show is rapidly approaching “peak ginger.”…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Boobs v. Pickpocket 1:10:19

11 years ago1:10:19

1:10:19

Kelly & Tom return to the wonderful world of Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E1. They discuss the difficulty inherent in following the PBS broadcast schedule, a superior credits sequence, the perfection that is Polly Walker, Marvilius: The Lost Hogwarts House, Mr. Crabbe’s cousin, the return of Lang, the origin of mannequins, a community theatre production of “There’s Something About Mary,” how to steam a pigeon, and New Gordon. Kelly’s right, Tom’s wrong, and everyone wants Monsieur Leclair to shave his hobo beard.…

The Palm Court: A Mr. Selfridge Podcast

1
Giggles And Drinking: A Life In Retail 2:43:27

12 years ago2:43:27