Mia Hewett on the Mindset to Take You From Surviving to Thriving

The Rewire Show For Highly Sensitive People

Some of the topics we covered in this conversation…

• How Mia’s childhood as an introvert motivated her to reach her goal [02:50]

• What she believes is out greatest power [06:09]

• What separates her successful self from her unsuccessful self [07:06]

• How we move beyond traumatic experiences. [09:05]

• What is the law of polarity [14:13]

• How we can look at problems differently to be unstoppable! [17:15]

• Why Mia believes success is an inside job. [18:57]

• Why we are not creating the momentum that creates success. [20:16]

• How to get beyond the belief that success takes a lot of time. [21:35]

• She uncovers the number one killer of quantum leaping. [23:20]

• Why self-mastery has no finish line. [25:38]

• How to be the greatest service to others. [27:40]

• What is aligned intelligence? [29:28]

Here is the in-depth conversation…

Ashley Stamatinos here. Welcome to the show! I’m so excited that you’re here, a special treat for you today. I have Mia Hewett with me and for those of you who are not yet familiar with Mia yet, let me introduce her to me you. Mia Hewett is an International Speaker and World Class Leader, and Performance Catalyst. Her Specialty is Results. She supports Entrepreneurs, Multi-level Marketers, and Small Business Owners in up leveling by turning their yearly income into their monthly! Their biggest source of pain is knowing what to do and emotionally not doing it. They know they were meant for greatness, and they don’t know how to achieve it. They worry if they will ever reach their goals, or secretly wonder if they’re even good enough. How does she do it? By supporting them in reprogramming their minds to silence their inner critic. The little voice in their head that says “they don’t matter,” or, is constantly questioning if “what they are doing is right?” or telling themselves “they’re not good enough.” Working with Mia, they experience paradigm shifts and massive breakthroughs that remove all their blind spots, that has them see clearly, make accurate decisions, learning how to work smarter not harder to maximize their results. They achieve Self-mastery in Clarity, Focus, Direction, Confidence, Certainty, and Faith in achieving Results. Mia has Co-Owned and Operated a multiple 7-Figure Business, Led Teams to Greatness, Ran the 5 Major World Marathons, and Leaves a Lasting Impact everywhere she goes. Now that you know a little about Mia, lets get right to it, and start the interview.

Ashley:, 00:06

So like, share something with me that really, really matters to you so I can connect with that.

Mia:, 01:59

Mm, highly sensitive children is something I am very passionate about. Yeah, love, love, love.

Ashley:, 02:05

Okay. Tell me why, why that is. Why is that so important?

Mia:, 02:13

You know, it’s always been a lifelong calling. I’ve worked a very long time with highly sensitive adults and I started about 15 years ago really delving into kids and then I had my own highly sensitive child so it was preparing for him.

Ashley:, 02:16

Yeah. Where you are a highly sensitive child yourself is what you’re saying. And that’s what led like all inside of this. Like the looking in the discovery of what that is?

Mia:, 02:40

Yeah, absolutely. I was a highly sensitive child but I’m very extroverted so I’m not the norm. A lot of very introverted and I’m highly, highly empathic and that was a big part of my journey of being an emotional sponge. And one of the things that was so fascinating about your work that I was so I was gravitating towards so much is going from survival to thriving and that journey and probably so much a lot of the people that you’re working with going from survival to thriving. So yeah,

Ashley:, 02:50

Absolutely. Absolutely. I see that everywhere. Um, you know, like, um, it just is inside of like for me growing up, if I’m, if there’s anyone like me, um, there was just, I always knew that I was meant for more. There was this feeling of like I’m, I’m just meant for so much more and I didn’t know how, like I think for me it was really inside of that that knowing there’s a greatness and yet not knowing how to make a difference or not knowing how to get the results. And I grew up really poor and so I would see all these people around me having this tremendous success. And my biggest pain was I didn’t know how to get that result. Those results. Why? How did they get those results? And so as a child I was very much an introvert and my biggest problem was consistently trying to find ways to motivate myself to do what I thought needed to be done. So I only really had one strategy which was try harder, frustrating for me. When I would do that, based on what people’s opinions and advice was, they would just help me to just keep trying.

Mia:, 03:25

And yet it would be really frustrating because sometimes I get results, sometimes I wouldn’t. And it was like, why, why is that? Right? That, yeah, that constantly like drove me, um, you know, and then it would leave me in the self sabotaging loop of like wondering like, am I ever going to meet my goals and maybe I’m just not good enough. And that I think is the key. Um, inside of that survival, right, is that self sabotaging loop of. It’s always gonna come back to, in surviving, we’re always not good enough, not worthy enough. There’s something wrong with me. Um, you know, all of that self sabotaging, surviving patterns, which I call ego. Yes. Right. Yes. That’s all our ego. Um, and so, you know, helping distinguish between what’s ego and what’s authentic self is. Um, yeah, it’s been, it’s actually the work that I do, how to thrive is literally all going to come from authenticity because in, when we are in our authenticity, when we are in our, is when, what we think, what we say, what we feel and what we do are all in alignment.

Mia:, 04:46

Oh yes, absolutely. Yes.

Ashley:, 06:25

And that’s, that is our greatest power, like when we are, that we are our highest expression of ourselves, we are our best version of ourselves and that’s, you know, what I’m standing for the people really get because I didn’t get that back then. Um, and so, you know, back then it was all about like, I never really stopped to slow down and really think when I was going through all of that for the longest time, why it took me so long to figure this out. I just, I never slowed down to go. Well, one is the logic in continuing until death to try to seek a breakthrough doing the same, of like the more of the same pattern. Just like, hey, how is that divided law like Duh. Like you’re not going to get there from there. Yeah, let’s do something completely polar opposite.

Mia:, 06:09

But that was my biggest blind spot. My biggest blind spot back there. It was, um, was my mindset, my mindset was my biggest part of my problem. And that’s why I coach mindset because I did go on to achieve many successes. Took my first company to, you know, um, that I co-owned to a multimillion dollar level and, and so forth. And now on my second company doing that as well, and I can see that what separates my successful self from my unsuccessful self is the mindset shift lifted, was insight of how I saw myself and how I saw the world and what I repeatedly did like or whatever, repeatedly to as habits. So that’s how I stopped surviving and I actually started thriving in life. And that really makes a big difference for anybody listening out there. It’s like, it’s really inside of that.

Mia:, 07:06

Like there’s some, there’s so many misunderstandings and I can answer any questions you have like we dive into anything you want to pull apart. There’s so many misunderstandings that people have that are in their belief systems in their mindset that they’ve been taught from well, meaning parents, even some not well, meaning parents, generations of, um, like just being taught beliefs and values and habits of things that don’t work and how we buy those as real. And then that has so much a part of how we begin to function because we’re seeing life through those lenses. I don’t remember. There were the email that I read and, and you have such wonderful emails for all of you that are listening. Her email list is so lovely and so thoughtful and so educational. And there was an email, I think it was actually about going from survival to thrival.

Mia:, 08:12

And you talked about how you as a young child had a traumatic experience and you know, every time you got on stage you thought about that fear or that I’m going to get hurt, I think was, was the lens through everyday. Can you talk a little bit about those lenses and how the experiences like that?

Ashley:, 09:05

Yes. Um, so every, every single person has had a traumatic experience. I just want to say that because as a society we tend to judge what is trauma like meaning like, because every one of my entrepreneurs that come to me, right? Like my multilevel marketers, business owners that come to me when I dive deep into their, like I spent five hours with them, the very first time we ever worked one on one together. And I literally go through and help them clear up all what’s in their program, all their beliefs that have.

Mia:, 09:25

Yeah. So why I say that is every single one of them will say to me, but Mia, really, it was no big deal. Like, no, I haven’t really long a trauma. Um, because they think that trauma is going to look like, like a death. Yeah. They don’t see trauma as the biggest trauma that I have found. And I’m John Bradshaw who’s, who’s now dead, you know, he’s deceased. He wrote the book on ‘healing the shame that binds you’. And you know, it’s very fascinating because he said, um, that the number one learned domestic violence in America, right? Or anywhere really is cheap is shame. So every single person that I have ever coached, worked with and so forth, the trauma comes from the shame. See, everybody thinks it’s fear that people are afraid of. And what I have found in all of my work and him for myself as well, like what really got me to live from my authentic self and no longer live in ego is, um, is I really found that it’s the shame, the shame of an experience.

Mia:, 09:55

And so every single person that’s listening is had that because I have not found a human being that has been raised without any shame and guilt. And that is the number one thing that happens to us. And in the moment that, that trauma happens, where an experience happens and we feel utter shame. That’s the moment where we then no longer feel it’s safe to be who we are, which is our authentic self, right? Yep. And that moment of trauma, we literally separate. That’s a little bit too strong of a word, but I don’t have another word for. We literally separate and we become a false self, which is our ego to protect us in that moment. And then in that moment of the false self, now we only have two ways to live from small self. We either have to try to become more than human.

Mia:, 11:11

Which is superiority, ego, or we become less than human, which is inferiority, Ego, right? Because it’s like if all inside of the false self. Now the fascinating thing about this is I call it like inception day, right when this happens, because it’s like the movie Inception. Have you ever, you.

Mia:, 12:08

I love every movie that that director, you know, made. I was like, I need to buy them all. They’re amazing.

Ashley:, 12:32

I love inception because I often relate to it like that. Where is like in the moment that it happens in like I’m talking like some, you know, there are two years old, there are one, they’re five, they’re seven. Like all of the dates, the days that these happen, the ages that we are when this created mine was five. And um, the day that inception day happens, right? It literally is the most fascinating part is, is we create this protection is false self so that we can’t be seen. And yet we forget we created it. Yes. That’s.

Mia:, 12:39

Do you find that a lot of people are blaming others for that false self?

Ashley:, 13:21

Their, they’re looking percent 100 percent because that’s the ego’s job, the ego’s job is, um, you know, the reason for you to do is to protect us, um, and so that we can be with something. So it’s like the blame comes from our ego of like, like I’m not capable. I don’t like really what’s really happening, right? Like I’m not really capable of being with this. So it has to be. You can’t be a me. Right. And again, I say that with the most loving compassion because people have really had some severe shame and trauma that has happened in their lives. And so of course they’re going to not, of course they’re going to blame. Like, I really want to say this because I operate inside of universal truths and the universal laws.

Mia:, 13:24

I don’t use opinions and so forth, which are, you know, what causes Migraine is suffering, is listening to people’s opinions that it really just didn’t work that way. So the, there’s a great universal truth. I’m a law of the law of polarity. The law of polarity says that nowhere in the universe exists a half of something. Everything exists in a hole and the equal and opposite. So what does that mean? That means if there’s an up, there’s a down. If there’s a left, there’s a right. If there’s an in, there’s an out. So that means if there is a, the solution must equally exists at the same moment in time, not a different moment, right? The polar equal and opposite must exist in every moment. So if lack exists, abundance, exists. So why is this important? Because you know, we need like an understanding. There really is no such thing as a problem.

Mia:, 14:13

I agree.

Ashley:, 14:13

We’re taught that problems are normal. It’s just the way of life, right? I was real problems or real and I’m not saying that it’s not that those people are not experiencing that in the moment. It’s not what I’m saying. So it is real in the sense that you can experience having a problem, but what has to happen to experience a problem is you have to then not be present to the equal and opposite solution that must equally be available. So I’m not saying in any way that what people are feeling or not that that’s not really happening. It is. And the way to understand that it’s like, it’s Kinda like this, like people could say like if my computer breaks down because they oh Mia you have a problem, but the truth is I just have a misunderstanding because I understand the internal workings of a computer, so I have to take it to somebody who doesn’t have that same misunderstanding and they actually fix it.

Mia:, 15:19

You could say that about my car, right? Like I drive a range rover it. It’s like if my car breaks out, it’s like I have no idea how I’m to fix this car. Like because I, it’s not that I have a problem, I have a misunderstanding. I really don’t understand how that car goes other than I turn the key.

Mia:, 16:19

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, from what I’m hearing you talk about it, it actually sounds to me like what you’re talking about, the equal opposite and everything as a whole. Everything in my mind, I’m looking at life as a spherical, you know, everything is whole. Everything is, you know, non polarity really, even though there is an equal opposite, but it’s like your car breaks down. It’s like you’re basically sharing how we can sort of, the word that comes to my mind and you can use your own words, but it’s like we’re unstoppable. We can’t be, you know, we cannot fall down, be broken from these experiences, if we are willing to look at all the possibilities, right?

Mia:, 16:36

Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. I am exactly saying that the live we’ve been taught is that problems are just the way of life and it’s a lot when the truth is that to every problem, there’s a solution and one of the things that I is so clear to me from somebody who used to be so poor and now you know, has had extreme well, I really get present to the thing that, that the successful people in our doing different than the unsuccessful is when a problem happens, the unsuccessful run and they’re afraid of it, the successful boat because now there’s an illusion that people will pay for. You see what I’m saying? Like it’s inside of a mindset shift, right? It’s not that like, you know, um, it’s not greater than that and so, you know, my, my people are like, just killing it.

Mia:, 17:15

They look like it!

Ashley:, 17:15

Yeah, they’re just amazing, like, you know, I mean I’m just like, I love like I get so much of a high and a fulfillment from their results, you know, I’ve got a guy right now and he’s worked with me about 10 minutes and he does more what you used to do in a month. He does in production in a week. He makes more money than he’s ever made in his life. I have another guy who in, um, you know, in his testimonial that he actually just gave all my facebook review he made in five months. He’s made more money with me than he. He made his whole last year in the entire year. Amazing. And this is not because it’s like they’re doing it, right. The cool thing like the why this is why this works is because success is an inside job. First, the mind must arrive at that destination before your life will.

Mia:, 18:16

Yes. I hear so many people say they don’t want to start with the mindset work. Just tell me how to make the money, what’s the strategy? And I almost feel like you probably would also say no, we need to work on the foundational elements of mindset first and that will allow you to receive more abundance to get more in alignment. But you tell me what you say about that. When people are like, just talk to you about the strategy, how to make money and they don’t want to work on the mindset first.

Ashley:, 19:12

Well, like I just go right at that one. You know, for you not to have the result, what would you have to believe about yourself to not have this result? Like we have to start where they’re at. One thing that, um, I’ve learned, um, in doing this now for so long is I used to want to start them further than where they were. They were like, I want it to be like, let’s get, let me give you the strategy at because I can tell you how this is. This is gonna really, really be amazing. Like I wanted it to start them further than where they were. And then what would happen is, um, you know, they wouldn’t, they couldn’t get there because I was ahead of where they are. Most people, where they are in their mind, they are either, they are either like why they haven’t gotten traction because success needs momentum and the momentum hasn’t happened because either they think they’re further than where they are and they’re not really there or they actually are putting themselves behind where they really are. And they’re really not there either. The first step is we’ve got to get really present to where you are because the clarity of where you are is where you are and where you are is not.

Mia:, 19:39

There’s nothing wrong. I don’t come from any judgment like working with me, like there’s no judgment. Judgment is ego. There’s no judgment. I am not judging anybody thinking they should be further. They should be behind. But where the real value is, is wherever you are, let’s be there. And now let’s go. Like now where we’re, we going to take you next? So I’m always, I’m always where they are. And taking them and what would give them the most value right now in what’s next. So it’s, it is a and it can go fast. This is, this is not anything that takes time. So that is a lie. I had a guy one time told me, he said, I said, tell me, so tell me the results you want to make. And so he said I need a thousand recruits and I need to get them in.

Mia:, 20:57

It’s going to take me three years. And I said, well first of all, let’s just be straight. If it doesn’t take a thousand is not going to recruit. You don’t need a thousand recruits to make that kind of money. You need 20 to 40. Highly effective to get to those numbers. You know? And I said to the second thing is it’s not a time issue. It’s a leverage issue, right? Because it doesn’t take three years to get there. I am part of a mastermind group. And the, the interesting, fascinating thing to me was when I listened to their stories. So I’m not the one who runs the mastermind. I do this on purpose too. I love to see different people’s mindsets and where, where there at this particular mindset, you know, because I coached, you know, I’ve had people say, well, you should be a coach’s coach and I actually love helping people create the most amount of money the fastest way.

Mia:, 21:48

So I actually love working with network marketers, business, you know, like I got a divorce attorney in a ton of network marketers and you know, good to know to be honest, like, you know, people that I, I’m not, I’m more of a grassroots and like show you how I’ve taken this young girl with this pet sitter who never made more than $2,000 working two jobs. Um, and within a month, um, she, she quit her second job, did her pet sitting full-time and made $5,000 and has now gone onto create that every month. So this isn’t, this isn’t a time issue. That’s what I find is that in this mastermind I will listen to them and they’ll say like, it took them 18 years to make $250,000. It’s 19 years to get to $300,000. And I’m like, oh my gosh, it doesn’t take that, because time is the biggest lie in the sense that it’s human made, right?

Mia:, 22:43

There’s no, there’s no universal law of time, right? It doesn’t even exist. It’s not a universal law. Time is what we created as a human construct. We created it as um, and it’s the number one killer of, um, limiter of quantum leaping. See, without time we can quantum leap results. Yes. What if we add to the equation, right? Like, like, look for yourself. When you add time, you then you start going, oh, I can’t do that. Like I vote. Let’s say I’ve only made $2,000, you know, just as an example, if I’ve only made $2,000, then logic would tell me, oh, well then the most I can make is $2,000 next month, right? Because I don’t have enough time when it’s really not a time issue and it’s not, um, you know, it’s logic that’s keeping you out of the game because it out the time issue, you know, like you could go, well, what if I looked so I made $2,000? How would I make for like for right, like double it, right? Like quantum leaping is about doubling and letting go of the limiter of time.

Mia:, 23:45

I have noticed so much within what I’ve, what I have received information wise from you prior to meeting you today and also within base of today, you ask a lot of questions and what I personally love so much about that is there’s no judgement in that that’s allowing the person to have their own awareness and it’s so empowering. And I so love questions and I love so much that you do that. So are you doing that a lot within your practice? Asking lot of questions of your clients and helping them come to their awareness or tell me a little bit about why you use questions so much.

Ashley:, 25:01

Yeah. Well I love that question. I love that question Ashley. That was awesome. I love that question because again, you know, inside of where I’m coming from, you know, self mastery has no finish line, right? Um, and I’m on a game of self mastery. And the interesting thing that I have found in doing this work is that I, in the beginning, how I failed right until I really got this right is like I wanted to just give this to people. So I wanted to tell them how to do it. Let me just tell you, let me just save you all this suffering. Right? And let me just tell you exactly how to do this. And not that I don’t tell them exactly. There is a science, there is an actual science to creating any result you want 100%. And I wish I would’ve known that. I’m 50 now. I wish somebody would have given that to me when I was 18 and suicidal. I would have loved to have had that science.

Mia:, 25:36

You know, I just never knew I was going to be the one teaching it because I was just, I was the person seeking this. I really wanted the answers. The fascinating thing is that what I’ve learned from coaching people for so long now is that it’s not in what I tell them, it’s in what they realize and experience inside themselves.

Mia:, 26:38

Absolutely.

Ashley:, 26:38