Lament for a Son: Nicholas Wolterstorff on Grief and Suffering

The Table Audio w/ Evan Rosa

"My grief wasn't about grief. It was about Eric."

Nicholas Wolterstorff is the Noah Porter Professor Emeritus of Philosophical Theology at Yale University and a Senior Fellow at the Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture at the University of Virginia, a renowned scholar and author of an incredible number of books on everything from metaphysics, the history of modern philosophical figures, like John Locke and Thomas Reid, justice, love, art and aesthetics, and his most recent foray into the metaphysics of sacrament and liturgical practices. In this conversation, we asked him about his only non‑philosophical published work—Lament for a Son—an expression of profound grief written in the wake of his son Eric's untimely death in 1983. Dr. Wolterstorff reflects on his own loss, the nature of grief, expression of lament in American society, the theological implications of suffering, and love.

Show Notes

• 0:00—Podcast intro
• 2:58—Begin interview
• 4:24—The story behind Lament for a Son
• 6:03—The "fragmentary" nature of grief
• 8:24—Social response to those who are grieving
• 9:25—Grief in American culture
• 11:36—Does grief love company? Grief as a shared or isolating experience
• 14:12—You don't want to miss this ad
• 15:18—Understanding and defining grief, lament, and suffering
• 18:45—The connection of suffering and love
• 18:53—Dr. Wolterstorff reads excerpt from Lament for a Son
• 20:40—What we learn about love from suffering
• 24:22—Dr. Wolterstorff reads excerpt from Lament for a Son
• 26:59—Living with unanswered questions
• 29:40—Finding comfort in expressions of grief, reference to T.S. Elliot's Four Quartets
• 32:52—End interview, credits

Quotes from Nicholas Wolterstorff

• "Grief is a special kind of suffering. It's intensely wanting what you know cannot be."
• "My grief wasn't about grief. It was about Eric."
• "I think we ought to own our grief. I put it like this. If Eric was worth loving when he was alive, then he's worth grieving over when dead. Why would he not be?"
• "'Don't cry'? Crying is the most appropriate thing you can think of."
• "If I hadn't loved him, there wouldn't be this agony. 'This,' said Jesus, 'is the command of the Holy One. You should love your neighbor as yourself.' In commanding us to love, God invites us to suffer."

Credits

• The Table is sponsored by generous grants from the John Templeton Foundation, Templeton Religion Trust, and The Blankemeyer Foundation
• Theme music by The Brilliance
• Production and engineering by The Narrativo Group
• Edited and mixed by TJ Hester
• Production Assistance by Laura Pelser
• Special thanks to Nicholas Wolterstorff
• Follow: @BiolaCCT / @Evan_Rosa