Grief, Death, Censorship, And #MeThree

Voices in the Dark

This episode is a long overdue catch-up. We cover a lot of ground across the worlds of culture, censorship, sex and psychology. But it's also about grief. Andrea's grandfather died recently and he opens up about the experience of losing someone for the first time with whom he was truly close.

Before that, we catch up with Jon and what it's like living the 'digital nomad' life in Chiang Mai. If the internet has made it childishly simple to connect with people in new places, it seems that this can just as easily result in tribalism rather than finding your tribe. We wonder why expat communities can be so toxic and question whether people who adopt a 'nomad' lifestyle are often those who just can't stick around too long in one place because they're fundamentally obnoxious.

All the same, Jon's still been meeting some interesting people – including some who are 'clearly' gay but don't seem to have realised it. What should you do in situations like these – stage an intervention? Launch a mixed orgy to help turn the lights on for these people? Given that facial recognition software can now accurately tell if someone's gay, is it really going too far to say gaydar is a real thing and might come with some moral responsibilities (to stage orgies)?

As we descend deeper into these sexual waters, Andrea unleashes his latest concept: #MeThree. This is when you're witnessing a nonconsensual activity, but you're really not sure what to do about it. How can you tell if it's your place to step in, or if you've just got the wrong end of the non-innuendo-filled stick?

But if you don't step in, maybe you'll end up being shamed. We live in a culture rife with social shaming, but Andrea argues this is ultimately a good thing – and a timeless practice, to boot. After all, aren't we rather naive to think that just because we're no longer offended by things our parents considered taboo, that we're now ready to accept anything? Jon feels leery around Andrea's solution of self-censorship, which leads to a deep riff on the limits of personal freedom and expression.

And then we come to death, after which personal freedoms and the hang-ups of everyday life can seem thoroughly irrelevant. Andrea describes his first funeral experience and the powerful emotions it brought up for him. He describes his guilt and frustration that he hadn't seen his grandfather for several years because he'd been waiting for the 'right moment' – the moment when you feel you've got your life together enough that you can visit your relatives and they can feel happy and proud of you when you tell them how things are going. But how much does that really matter when time runs out?

We also talk about the inextricability of humour and grief; the idea that death is a crime against the Arts, because, ultimately, a person's life is a work of art; and we consider what our own funerals might look like.

Also Including:

• Why it scientifically only makes sense to drive on the left
• Demystifying dropshipping
• Men's groups and secret homos
• Fisting as an intervention strategy
• Faking your own funeral

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