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What Does It Mean For You To Already Be Good Enough? A Chat w/ Steff Gallante
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Let’s admit it.
Yoga and wellness spaces can sometimes be intimidating at best, and downright unwelcoming at worst.
And a lot of our experiences within those spaces reinforce the idea that we need to strive for an ideal, and that ideal is something decided outside ourselves.
So this week I chat with my friend Steff Gallante on our participation in wellness as pros for the last 20 years, and what we have seen, heard, and experienced ourselves.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
*Guilt and shame can buckle us, on a lot of levels. In our life experiences we often butt up against the feeling of guilt and shame, which feel uncomfortable. To off-gas that feeling we then turn and make other people feel shame and guilt. We are currently in the midst of this vicious cycle in both our local communities and on a global scale. Please stay attuned to how you are feeling so you can pause when you are feeling that guilt and shame and deal with it. Yoga gives us the tools to do this, so let’s commit to using them.
*Change begins with small steps. This is an important step that Steff pointed out. You don’t need to start your work at deconstructing perfectionism by having a hard conversation with a yoga studio owner or confronting a family member. You can start by deciding to shift your expectations of how you show up for yourself, and also maybe try wearing sweats to class and offering your real-life experiences to your students. Not in a way that leverages your challenges or traumas, but an offering to your students who you are. It is a relief to see the hard days of people we look up to because we all have them.
*Perfectionism in wellness spaces shows up in sneaky ways. The way we talk about food, movement, and behavior can be laced with deep undertones of perfectionism. It is okay to eat cake, cookies, meat, to not have your feet hip distance apart in down dog, and more. If what I said just made you feel a little uncomfortable, maybe you can pause and examine why. The reason could be “sugar makes my belly ache” or “but it looks nice when your feet are the same distance apart” or some other reason. The action isn’t to prove your belief right or wrong but to understand why you believe it.
*There is SO much pressure to be the perfect person as the teacher. Most of us have a complicated relationship with wellness because it is both our job and our practice. How do you feel about that?
*It is critical that we embody self-compassion so we can model that for our students. This is something I consider to be a high priority for not only my happiness but for my job. It is difficult, and I struggle with this one consistently, but I also can hold space and grace for myself to grow and change in this journey of life.
*Doing something for the sake of saying you are doing it is not the right reason for doing anything. For example, you don’t need to be up at 5 a.m. practicing yoga unless you want to because that is what lights you up. I don’t do that anymore, and I feel 0% guilt about it.
*Using yoga practices for gold stars instead of your ease and support is frankly not the appropriate way to use a yoga practice–. Please use the practice to support you, even if your practice involves vigorous physical movement. That movement is there to support you, not so you can get a gold star.
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