271 How To Overcome Wounds from a Husband’s Pornography Addiction

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:

With one in five mobile searches being for pornography, it may be more prevalent than you think. Jody Allen shares her story, her pain, her wounds, and her sacred scars that resulted from her husband’s addiction to pornography. Tune in as Jody offers hope and strategies for overcoming the deep wounds caused by porn addiction.

Quotables from the episode:

• Pornography can create emotional, relational, and spiritual wounds.
• I felt betrayed because I was living with someone who’s behavior was inconsistent with who he was.
• I lived a constant cycle of regret, apology, relapse, and feeling unimportant which created emotional wounds.
• Nothing can prepare a person for the breakup of the family.
• When God didn’t answer my prayers the way I wanted him to answer, that brought about spiritual wounds. Because when the God of the universe, the one who hates divorce, doesn’t answer your prayers in a way that is consistent with his will and pro-marriage, it leads to disappointment.
• One in five mobile searches is actually for pornography.
• My husband’s pornography addiction caused me so much shame.
• We answered all the “what if” questions, and came to the conclusion that we would ultimately be okay if we trusted God.
• Guilt, shame, and condemnation does not come from our Heavenly Father but from the Father of Lies.
• Shame made me believe that people were judging me and left me feeling like I wasn’t good enough.
• The wound is the open painful place that is festering and hurts so bad. But once we have a scar, it doesn’t hurt as much. It’s the place where healing has taken place. It doesn’t mean we forget the pain of the wound, it just means that it doesn’t have the same hold on us.
• As part of my role as a women’s ministry leader, I didn’t feel I could expect other women to share their story if I wasn’t willing to share my own story. Those hard years were preparation for my future ministry.
• The enemy wants to isolate us from others to shut us up.
• Satan is an equal opportunist. He is so sly and wants us to believe in any area of sin that “just once” doesn’t matter.
• We don’t have to squeak by. We don’t have to get to the other side of our pain and just survive. We can thrive. We can get to the other side of our pain and heartache and flourish. Pain doesn’t have to win. Pornography doesn’t have to win. Divorce doesn’t have to win.
• Let us take the best things from our time of pain and suffering…maybe it’s a fresh perspective, new skills, or a fresh start. If we know Jesus, we have the potential to get to the other side of our heartache and be whole and even be happy on the other side of it.

Scripture References:

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given you the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind.”

Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Exodus 12:36 “The Lord caused the Egyptians to look favorably on the Israelites, and they gave the Israelites whatever they asked for. So they stripped the Egyptians of their wealth!”

Recommended Resources:

• Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
• Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
• Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Trusting God Through Cancer 1
• Trusting God Through Cancer 2
• Revive & Thrive Women's Conference
• Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.)
• Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win

Social Media Links for Guest and Host:

Connect with Jody Allen:

Website / Facebook / Instagram

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube

Guest:

Jody Allen serves as the Director of Women’s Ministry at her church, where she offers hope and a dose of humor to women in her church and community. Ten years in ministry has allowed her the opportunity to teach workshops, lead small groups, speak at women’s events, and walk alongside women in crisis. Jody’s goal is to point women to Jesus in a relatable and authentic way.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson