How to Make Choices That Don't Suck

The Bledsoe Show

00:00.00

Max Shank

Hello everybody welcome back to the max and mike Monday morning podcast today I'm pretty excited because we're going to talk about choices. We're going to talk about the difference between a mistake and an error and we're going to talk about the difference between a good choice. And a good outcome and you might think those are the same thing but actually they are not. You can make a good choice and have a bad outcome. You can make a bad choice and have a good outcome and if you want learning to really take place. It's very important to understand the difference between those. So. If you listen up today I'm confident that we're all going to make better choices that give us the result that we're looking for so thanks for tuning in mikey good to see you.

00:48.15

mikebledsoe

Good to see you? Yeah 1 of the reasons we chose this topic and by the way we usually choose the topic about 5 to ten minutes before we hit the record button and um, yeah I did a a mushroom ceremony a few days ago where. I was basically shown all the mistakes that I'm still paying for in my life right now. So as max had ah guessed accurately was I had my own personal hell for about 3 hours and it was.

01:06.73

Max Shank

Um, now.

01:23.48

mikebledsoe

Even though it was my own person at hell for a few hours it was really enlightening and and getting very ah getting to be at peace with what I had was witnessing as mistakes I'd made that I was currently paying for and also ah. Experiencing a lot of sadness around it and then by the next morning feeling a little better about it by the next the morning after that feeling even better and having an action plan on how I can more methodically pay off those. Mistakes or errors more quickly so I can get on with my life because yeah, as much as we would like to for me, it's it's as if I I've learned the lesson that came with oh that was i.

02:03.19

Max Shank

A.

02:20.38

mikebledsoe

Did not get the outcome I was looking for there that was not what I wanted to happen and I learned that years ago, but my bank account is still having to you know is money's being siphoned off for those mistakes. Even years later even though the lessons been learned so it's ah. It's an interesting life process that we're all in where we usually pay for those mistakes a little longer than we'd like to.

02:48.17

Max Shank

Always longer than we like to ah personally I want no negative consequences for any of my actions. But I think you bring up a good point because making choices is actually the only thing that we do. Everything is outsourced from choice making right? So. The only thing that we personally do is make choices even if that choice is to raise your arm up in the air you are making the choice but then your body It's getting outsourced to your body and then your body does that little task and. You know I'm pretty critical of all forms of media including podcasts because I think most media is a colossal waste of time now. That being said I think you can basically split up content. Into 2 categories better choice making which would be learning and entertainment and that's all if what you're consuming informationally content wise is not helping you better make better choices. Then it better be entertaining at least Otherwise what the hell are you doing and since that's entertainment.. That's that's 1 hundred percent ah mental masturbation like I don't like to watch horror movies but tons of people do so.

04:07.71

mikebledsoe

So I just want to be scared. Yeah, that's true.

04:19.24

mikebledsoe

A.

04:22.32

Max Shank

Once again I'm not really into Kink shaming So like whatever you want to do to get your rocks off. But I think it's important to not pretend. It's something different and there's a lot of time invested into mental masturbation and if you think about. Differentiating between. Okay I'm going to consume this information so that I make better choices or I'm just going to flat out entertain myself. So It's important I think to not confuse those 2 things and for me. It's actually quite liberating because that itself is a valuable decision that enables me to be more mindful with what I'm doing.. There's no pretension for me when I'm consuming information I'm either consuming this because I think it's going to help me make better choices in the Future. Going to give me more of the results that I'm after or I'm just entertaining myself and it doesn't matter. Ah what your flavor is, but it's entertainment and then you also don't feel like oh I'm always I'm always trying to.

05:29.24

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

05:35.82

Max Shank

Learn new things. It's like yeah you know some of the stuff I learn. It's not really practical right now. But of course you never know.

05:43.21

mikebledsoe

Yeah I mean what you're getting at there is ah your you're intentional. You're intentional about oh I'm going to sit down and be entertained. Um, yeah.

05:55.57

Max Shank

And there's no shame there. There's no shame there. Whatever you like.

05:59.60

mikebledsoe

Yeah, my my intention a lot of times is to is to play. My intention is to let loose have a good time and play you know sometimes you know in the the plant Medicine Psychedelic World Community There's always this.

06:06.25

Max Shank

Um.

06:18.99

mikebledsoe

There's this heavy emphasis on setting an intention before you you take your get into take your substance and get into your experience and for years my intention was always to learn something and to get something out of it and then over time I go oh my intention.

06:31.44

Max Shank

Ah.

06:38.85

mikebledsoe

1 of the things I learned during during a ceremony is I go oh I can ah my intention could to be to enjoy myself and to play and that is just as valuable as anything else.

06:45.70

Max Shank

Right.

06:51.76

Max Shank

That in itself is a very valuable decision. Um I was mentioning to you before we hit record that I've been really getting into tennis a lot lately. I actually have a lesson on Wednesday with a guy who trains at my gym. Juan. And he's awesome and 1 of the most valuable pieces of information I learned about tennis is that there's a very important decision before you hit every ball and so we played we did this drill. And it was called offense defense and before you start your swing that is the first choice you have to make am I going to hit this ball offensively or am I gonna hit this ball defensively. And now when I'm playing matches I notice if I make a mistake with that choice right away I'll be like ah that should have been a defensive shot where I'll go oh I had time for that to be an offensive shot so that has been a huge improvement.

07:57.29

mikebledsoe

A.

08:06.53

Max Shank

In my overall game because now there's no confusion as to the first choice that needs to be made I need to quickly decide. Okay do I have the opportunity to attack this ball offensively or is it important to. Hit a defensive shot so I can keep the rally going so I have time to maybe get an offensive opportunity later because tennis is 1 of the few. Yes, definitely tennis is 1 of those few sports where if you make an error. Ah your opponent gets a point.

08:29.47

mikebledsoe

Or a better 1

08:41.14

Max Shank

You know in a lot of other sports if you make an error you don't necessarily get punished with a point loss immediately. But if you miss a shot in tennis your opponent actually gets a point so you speaking of paying for mistakes you pay for every error that you make.

08:56.77

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well 1 of the things you said before we hopped on as well was ah we don't make mistakes we only make choices and a mistake is something that we can only look back on and notice and go oh and then which which. Occurs to me as you're just judging the choice because you didn't get the outcome. You're looking for and then that yeah, it's labeled retroactively and then ah going and then you continue to say something else, but this ties into what we.

09:19.90

Max Shank

Yeah, it's labeled retroactively.

09:32.97

mikebledsoe

1 of the things we were talking about last show and that is making the right choice. None of is the last show or 1 of the previous shows making the right choice may not result in the desired outcome and so so.

09:46.68

Max Shank

Exactly.

09:51.49

mikebledsoe

You know, ah putting all the weight of a single choice for a specific outcome is is probably it experience. You're probably experiencing a little bit of tunnel vision because there's so many things that contribute to the outcome where outcomes. Ah and it's ah yeah, just. Got me thinking more and more about okay I've made choices which didn't give me the outcomes I desired and now I'm paying for them and and my judgment of those is to call it a mistake but it's also good for me to look back and go yeah that was I won't make a choice. Ah, all all. When I'm making choices that are like this I'm going to have to consider all these things that it becomes more obvious the things I didn't consider as I made those choices.

10:38.80

Max Shank

Absolutely and it also speaks to the heart of where I've been able to actually find some compassion because I used to think most people were just Evil Idiots. Ah, which is not like the most positive way to view the world. But I realize that everybody is always doing their best based on how they think and feel at the time. So based on the information they have available to them and based on their current state of mind. They're always making the best choice they can think of now a lot of times people make. Choices with their lizard brain only So they're not maybe using their full faculties but based on the tools that were available to them in that Moment. We're always making the best choice we have available and it's easy to. Judge other people because we don't really know their experience. So I think that I think that's really huge like you will be able to live a more comfortable life If You realize that people are doing the best with the faculties that are available to them.

11:54.32

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

11:54.53

Max Shank

In that moment and then you'll also be a lot more forgiving of yourself because um I can certainly speak from my own experience. But I think a lot of people who try to be high. Achievers are often very hard on themselves. And really, um, relive every mistake lots and lots of times because you're like oh I Just don't want to make that mistake again. I don't want to make that wrong choice again. So You'll be more forgiving of yourself. You'll be more compassionate of other people. And if you do that then you're going to be more in ah a love vibration instead of a fear and maybe even loathing vibration and of course then you also get to make better choices because as I said people always make the best choice based on how they think and feel. At the time. So if you feel afraid if you feel hateful if you feel judgmental you're not going to make as good a choices you're going to make Lizard brain choices.

13:00.92

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

13:07.63

Max Shank

Um, as far as the right choice but wrong outcome. Um I'll use tennis as another example so you have 2 things you have deployment and execution deployment is. What you choose to do and when you choose to do it. Execution is how you did it. So if I try to deploy an offensive shot at the right time. But I Miss. That would just be a problem with my execution. So the the way I did it wasn't very good. How I executed that decision was wrong and if you break up these choices into deployment and execution. Then you know where to correct it for next time. Because it's a totally different thing to make an error in deployment which is making the wrong choice versus an error in execution which is the skill that you used was inadequate to capitalize on the on the correct choice.

14:15.50

mikebledsoe

Go when I hear when they hear you say deployment I think strategy that it's the Ah how am I going to accomplish this this goal.

14:28.48

Max Shank

It's what you choose to do and when and the execution is the how you do it. So if you if if you deploy ah a punch at the right time if you choose a? ah.

14:32.55

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

14:44.17

Max Shank

You know the correct punch and you deploy it at the right time but you you do it too weekly or something like that or you do it too slowly or you're just off Target that would be an error. And the execution even though the choice that you made was correct. So I think of it as deployment is what and when and execution is how yeah.

15:01.29

mikebledsoe

Ah e.

15:09.43

mikebledsoe

I like that I like that well going back to that thinking about the high performers I imagine there's quite a few high performers that listen to this and going back in and dwelling on Mistakes. Ah. I I think ah so it can be a gift because that that can create a hyper performer and you just hyper analyze things. The drawback to that is all the emotional experience that comes with that or usually the emotional experience that drives that it's this It's this dwelling or this addiction to feeling that guilt and I know that's something that I dealt with at 1 point where I overindulged in feelings of guilt and ah which is really strange because if you were to ask you know people on. And a quick survey. You know, do you dwell on guilt or happiness more like wow it makes sense to dwell on being happy. But that's not necessarily the case and so there was a time in my life where I I dwelt on guilt and that. That was what was driving a lot of the the dwelling on the mistakes from the past and making sure I didn't make those same mistakes twice. So it's 1 of those things where it really was had a negative impact on the quality of my life in the moment but for but it did. Turn into a productive ah exercise now. The trick is and 1 of the things that I've learned over time is yeah, there's a lot of gifts that were given from these emotional states that cause a lot of stress or maybe aren't really that useful in in them in a. And themselves. But the product is good and so what I've learned to do better now I wouldn't say out I'm really great at it. But what I've learned to do better now is let's go okay, that was a mistake I can feel sad about making that mistake if I haven't felt it all the way through yet. But instead of instead of dwelling on it because I feel like shit but going back and being analytical and and feeling happy and feeling really excited. So 1 of the experiences I've had over the weekend is I'm really excited to put some changes in my life in order to avoid. Ah, you know making those mistakes in the future and it's you know you're doing it well because if you can get out of that lizard brain and go into the wizard wizard brain then you can come out with very ah, let's say.

17:57.28

mikebledsoe

Ah, practical things that you can do. They're going to ensure that you don't have to experience that again and then you can skip that and enjoy the success that you're looking for.

18:07.94

Max Shank

I Think you said a phrase that really speaks volumes which is you are indulging in feelings of guilt which it sounds like a ridiculous phrase. But but if you have ah.

18:16.25

mikebledsoe

Oh.

18:25.46

Max Shank

Ego self-image that thinks of yourself a certain Way. You're going to reinforce those currently held Beliefs. So I think that's extremely common, especially if you think of yourself as someone who does make good choices. And if you think of yourself as someone who is smart and conscientious and aware of things. It's going to hurt twice as bad if you make an incorrect choice.

18:57.70

mikebledsoe

Oh yeah, well yeah, because now you know you make yourself pay for it in ways that you don't They're completely unnecessary.

19:05.73

Max Shank

And it kind of comes back to the emotion side of things I think of enthusiasm as social energy enthusiasm is a power in and of itself. You know there are you have force equals mass times acceleration you have work ah force times distance powers ah work over time you have all these different physics equations but enthusiasm which comes from being possessed by Spirit. Is an energy that is completely unique and it's the catalyst for a higher level of action because Hunger is the ultimate motivator right. And pain is a form of hunger so you can be operating from a place of deep hunger or even fear perhaps but when you're enthusiastic It's almost the same sort of desire which is another synonym for pain. But it's got to love. Vibration to it. So when you're operating from an enthusiastic place. You're look I don't know maybe you're gonna triple your output. You're gonna light a fire in other people like you wouldn't otherwise um. You're definitely 1 of those people who gets people excited about things like you're ah you're definitely an idea machine and you know you've called me several times over the years and I'll be like god damn that's a dumb idea and but but but even so. And you've also come to me with like a lot of brilliant ideas too. Don't give me ah, don't get me wrong here. But um, what I notice is the level of enthusiasm is contagious like I feel myself getting excited.

21:14.35

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

21:15.33

Max Shank

You know what I'm saying so that enthusiasm comes from being in a good place emotionally and as far as you know reliving the hell of your bad choices. Um, it is kind of like how we said. Depression is a luxury too being sad is a luxury like all these things are luxuries that are only available to you if you actually have all your physical needs. Met so ah.

21:33.94

mikebledsoe

A.

21:46.56

Max Shank

You know the same thing if you can get to that place where you're enthusiastic. Which means that you're not punishing yourself for the past and letting your past ruin your present and future and if you find something where you can be enthusiastic about. You know sharing what you have with others you're going to make better choices and even if the choices um maybe aren't as good now I I still think. Ah, Overall you're going to make better choices if you're enthusiastic about it. You know you don't want to act too rashly I guess that would maybe be the only consideration ah with hyper enthusiasm.

22:29.32

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think there's yeah well I'll speak of my own personal experience. Ah I am I'm a very enthusiastic person I I do get excited about a lot of different. Things and I get excited about my own ideas I get excited about other people's ideas or projects and um because of that I I attract a lot of people coming to me with their ideas and and looking for help and 1 of the things that I've noticed over the years is the majority of my. Some of my ideas are bad. Some of them are good and some of them are bad just because they're not for me to do I think I think a lot of my idea probably most of them are good just not for me. They're good for somebody to do ah and.

23:14.32

Max Shank

Right? um.

23:20.58

mikebledsoe

1 things I've had to learn is that because it's easy for me to influence other people's enthusiasm and their behavior and getting them involved is there's been times where I have people on my team I get enthused about something I start talking about it. And I'm not telling anyone to do anything about it I'm just sharing the idea and then a few days goes by and I have a check in with the team and they've taken action on whatever it is I was I was discussing an idea with them and I and I was like fuck. We just wasted a few days of work because I actually didn't want.

23:51.15

Max Shank

Her.

23:58.54

mikebledsoe

Um, never even intended for you to take action on this was even my intention and now we are here we are going down this track and so I've I've had to learn how to um, be enthusiastic find specific people in my life I can share those ideas with that are not. Working for me or with me ah and to flesh them out and then I've also gotten a lot better about having ideas come in and go yeah, we'll just let that 1 I'll write it down the book write down the journal and then ah maybe I'll come back to it. You know, 2 or 3 days go by and I go.

24:31.66

Max Shank

And.

24:37.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah,, don't really want to do that. But it was cool to to dream about it. So That's just ah, yeah, little little little things that I Found. It's also good to remember for people who may not share the same trade I have but do get enthused by other people. Somebody who has a lot of Charisma comes by and gets people all hyped up and for something for an idea. It's also good to check in with yourself is like is this is this the idea that I'm supposed to be involved with right now or am I just getting caught up in the enthusiasm and in The. Charisma of this person.

25:17.20

Max Shank

Yeah, and I'm almost the opposite like 1 of the services I offer is dream killing because I think that you can spend you can waste a lot of time going for something that isn't really a good fit for you or a really good. Ah, overall idea if you're overenthusiastic. However I come back to enthusiasm being social energy and who better to use and as as an example than Richard simmons sweating to the oldies like. When I was in my early twenty s I would like make fun of that sort of thing but dude richard simmons has helped more people get up off the couch than I have probably by a factor of a thousand or more.

25:53.68

mikebledsoe

Me.

26:08.10

Max Shank

And it's because he's just so Enthused. He's so excited about them dancing around in their living room and sweating to the oldies and so you can have what I would argue is a suboptimal product. But if you have that charismatic enthusiastic. Um, leader It doesn't even matter. In fact I would rather be invested into that business than someone who's got all of their kinesiology doctorates in order. Doing the perfect exercise.

26:45.77

mikebledsoe

Yeah I've I've witnessed that I ah ah traveled to travel the world finding the best of the best and kind of really figuring out that a lot of the people who have the best product or service.

26:50.31

Max Shank

Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen it tons of times.

27:05.60

mikebledsoe

Get very little attention and people who get the most attention you know will have a mediocre product or service.

27:05.98

Max Shank

Ah.

27:12.37

Max Shank

They're in the basement pouring over the research papers while the ah dumb guys giving out high fives. Ah, after every set of burpees. You know it's like people people are like that people are like that.

27:27.50

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well this why I like them I like to partner with people who are on the other side of the spectrum because if you is where partnership comes in really really handy is if you have if you have 1 person who's ah.

27:37.56

Max Shank

Huge.

27:44.82

mikebledsoe

The Enthusiast and the other person who is the what what would you? How would we want to categorize this other person.

27:50.00

Max Shank

Well I think I'm the other person so it's like how would I want to categorize myself.

27:54.65

mikebledsoe

Yeah, that sound like you were calling yourself the dream Killer but.

27:58.48

Max Shank

The other guy the Dream Killer Sometimes Dream killing can be the absolute best thing a person needs like I will happily support a dream where I can see the benefit from it. But I think you you want both you want someone? you know my 1 of my friends used to say I was a sharpshooter That's what he would call me like I would just look at every potential flaw or weakness in the idea and do that with myself too. So It's not like I'm just a sadistic. Dude like trying to do it to I'm not just kill I'm killing most of my own dreams too mind you? Yeah yeah I Guess it's just.

28:39.90

mikebledsoe

He's also a masochist.

28:48.49

Max Shank

Yeah, it's It's the same way that I train myself and my clients like a lot of it is looking for weak points and not just reinforcing strengths.

29:01.69

mikebledsoe

Yeah I mean that goes would use so talk about deployment versus defense. Are you some is that right? not defense. Ah no, no, no I'm thinking about ah offense versus defense otherwise mixing those up. Ah.

29:13.20

Max Shank

Deployment versus execution offense defense.

29:20.95

mikebledsoe

So offense versus defense would you would you consider yourself somebody who is more naturally geared towards thinking of defense before offense sort of sounds like to me.

29:31.31

Max Shank

Yeah, 100 percent um 1 of the axioms I kind of live by is why risk what you need for what you don't need and I am 1 of those people who will be I can be really patient.

29:39.71

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

29:50.50

Max Shank

Um, so I'll just wait for the right opportunity now when the right opportunity comes up I will attack it so aggressively that it's kind of startling in fact, but I don't feel a need to be. Dynamic all the time or attacking all the time because I've recognized that if you are patient enough just like in jujitsu position before a submission like I'll just wait and wait and wait and when the opportunity comes then I'll go for the submission. But unless I'm just messing around with a friend I'm not going to be trying for any type of fancy aggressive Stuff. It's going to be slow methodical control control control don't risk losing position. Wait wait wait. Okay there's the position. Now boom super super offense all of the sudden.

30:50.13

mikebledsoe

Yeah I'm more naturally geared towards being on the offense I look back on my sporting career and yeah in sport and life way more on the offense ah lot of lot of swing for the fences.

30:57.19

Max Shank

No doubt.

31:09.48

mikebledsoe

A lot of failure but but also some success and I've I've noticed over the years ah is the thing that helps me out the most is to slow down and go on defense and it's it's ah it's a difficult choice for me to make to go in defense.

31:19.75

Max Shank

Ah.

31:27.62

Max Shank

Not the.

31:28.40

mikebledsoe

It's not what I want to do but when I do it I So That's when I usually see really great progress or and I've learned to wait for that that moment to Strike. Ah, but when when it is time for that moment to strike there's you're saying that it's startling. How how aggressive it may come out as because I've got a lot of practice being aggressive.

31:51.96

Max Shank

Right? And there's kind of another thing to consider here too which is um I've heard it described as the strategy paradox where what works for another person would be like the worst thing you could do for yourself.

32:08.76

mikebledsoe

E.

32:11.50

Max Shank

So you could be 1 of those people who wants to value invest and just purchase um shares of companies where the financials are strong. There's steady growth and you don't really go outside of your comfort zone. You're probably not going to lose all your money doing that on the other hand, you're probably not going to become very wealthy very fast because risk and reward are usually proportional to 1 another. However, if you are you know. Buying options on penny stocks with borrowed money you have a chance to maybe 10000 x your money. But you also have a chance to lose all of your money times 10 so so ah and that kind of goes along with another bias which is survivorship bias and the best example I have of that is Richard branson if you've ever read his autobiography to a more defensive minded person like myself and methodical. Just gave me like heart palpitations because every every other chapter he's like mortgaging his life away and borrowing another millions from the bank and shit's going wrong and you know he's got a music company and everything's finally going well for him. Everything's finally going well like he never had like a lot. It was always just reinvest reinvest and then things finally go well and he's on the board at virgin music. They got a ton of artists and he's like yeah so I'm gonna I'm gonna start an airline I got to buy a. An airplane and I need another 1 hundred million dollars. So I'm going to start selling stock and borrowing and his partners in the music company wanted to kill him they they hated him they hated him. He's like they hated me and.

34:16.78

mikebledsoe

Ah, yeah.

34:21.28

Max Shank

The first test flight ah he like hit a goose or a duck so he needed another fifty million dollars to fix this plane like a 7 forty 7 or something like that. So now he's he's. You know he owes 1 hundred million or something to the bank of England or whatever it was I think it was like the Royal bank of england and he's just like begging them to give him more time and it worked out for him. But anyway, that's the survivorship bias just because it worked out for him. There. Ah, 110000 guys who made similar choices who lost everything so you can't necessarily mimic that and think that you're going to get a better result, especially if it doesn't match your personality type either.

35:05.49

mikebledsoe

Well you you got to consider you know Richard branson he he likely thrives in chaos and so having that that stress is something that that causes him to to get shit done that needs to get done whereas. A lot of people would collapse. Um, there's ah, there's there's 2 other personality types. This makes me think about and 1 is ah when when if 1 personality is which is which is me if you're really far ahead.

35:25.42

Max Shank

And.

35:44.16

mikebledsoe

Plenty of money's coming in. Everything's going great all that I have this tendency to want to take my foot off the gas I celebrate the victory. It's like okay life is good. Let's let's do something with this money. Let's let's you know, chill out and. The other personality is somebody who who is ahead and that's motivating like oh we're ahead. Let's get more ahead and more ahead and more ahead. But the flip side of that is it. This is probably where Richard brenson and I have something in common which is if you're behind the 8 ball That's when shit's getting done. That's what I'm making moves highly motivated logging the hours I need to be hyper focused on the things that actually matter not all this other bullshit in the business that that may be just a waste of time.

36:25.60

Max Shank

Further.

36:38.56

mikebledsoe

Um, really gets hyper focusedcused and then that person that really enjoys being ahead and is really motivated when when things are going well a lot of times that personal collapse in that space and they they're just kind of like give up and so I've been in situations where um. Been on teams where ah things are going when things are going well people are unhappy with me like why isn't mike doing more to help us keep getting ahead and and then when she hits the fan. They're like mike what do we do and I'm like okay I'm taking over everything.

37:01.96

Max Shank

That.

37:13.95

mikebledsoe

Um, now it's like command and control. There's a military operation. We're gonna We're gonna make these moves and so in in the funny thing is is part of me hates putting myself in those positions but the other part of me loves it. It's exhilarating.

37:16.49

Max Shank

The.

37:31.90

mikebledsoe

It's like ah this is what life is about like let's fuck shit up. You know so it's it's a very interesting thing to keep in mind and also know who you are in those situations because 1 of once I got hit to that knowledge I started saying oh I don't need to put my.

37:33.49

Max Shank

Oh.

37:48.81

mikebledsoe

Business partners and loved ones through this stress I may find it exhilarating but they don't fucking like it and it's not good for them and it's probably not good for the business either. So really learning to honor both types and use both types when necessary and not needing to get.

37:55.50

Max Shank

Ah.

38:07.96

mikebledsoe

Really far into the extreme of 1 or the other um and that's probably what leads to getting into an extreme or 1 or the others you go too far to the extreme of 1 and then the pendulum will swing so going right back to doo de jing right? like the middle way.

38:18.72

Max Shank

You know you know it makes me think of something I believe is very important which. I think is hard for people to understand and if you are locked into a mission. You're trying to figure out how much you can do. And if you're looking for a retirement business or an income. You're trying to look for for financial Freedom You're trying to find out how little you can do and that is a huge difference and. Tying it back to choices. Maybe it's not that hard to understand. Actually maybe it's simple to understand if you have a clear Mission. You're gonna be trying to do as much as possible with that mission. If you are just looking to free yourself Financially, you're going to be looking to do as little as possible and if you have a clear mission choices will come much more easily because they should all be pointing in the same direction and that's where that. Ah, enthusiasm which is possessed by spirit comes in even more handy is now everything every decision you make is pointed toward that singular point of focus and it goes back to what we were saying about having your focus be dissipated. Into more of a lantern versus a laser beam where you're hyper focused on 1 thing. So I think that's a huge distinction is um, mission versus ah, let's say a financial goal because with that you're going to be trying to do as little as you can. Um.

40:19.30

mikebledsoe

Yeah, but.

40:25.33

Max Shank

Like that's my goal for investing of course like I'm not trying to do as much as possible I'm trying to do as little work as possible but have as clear and consistent a reward as possible versus our mission here to enable people to free themselves and make better choices. Which has a network effect. That's more about seeing how much we can do right? It's totally different.

40:48.69

mikebledsoe

yeah yeah yeah I um spend the majority of my life on the mission side and it it was interesting. It's been interesting because hearing you say that. How many times I set financial goals because I just felt like we're supposed to set financial goals and the financial goals revolved more around if we do this much then we can make this much impact in the way that we want and in the last few years it's become much more become much more on the.

41:09.49

Max Shank

The.

41:17.40

Max Shank

And.

41:24.10

mikebledsoe

How can I do less and ah make as much money as possible doing as little as possible and so I think the the balance there's a balance on those 2 as well is can can you be conducting and.

41:24.35

Max Shank

Okay, the.

41:30.60

Max Shank

Ah.

41:42.87

mikebledsoe

And activities conducting activities with as little effort as possible that have a meaningful outcome and that way you can check both boxes which is the financial freedom box as well as the mission box and I see that a lot of people have ah. Don't see how they can do both and a lot of people walk away from a lot of money because they want to be more purpose driven and they actually associate the the making of money as something that's taking away from their purpose which you know.

42:03.10

Max Shank

A.

42:19.54

mikebledsoe

Their attraction to it might be the thing that is but but I'm a firm believer and what I've been experiencing is high high mission orientation but also holding at the same time. These things could be. Ah, paradoxical to some people which is ah you know, being on mission and how do I create financial freedom for myself. My family and work as little as possible.

42:48.90

Max Shank

I think the best way to get to the heart of that discrepancy is to focus on even trades like a win-win situation because if you put yourself into a position where you're just sacrificing. There's not going to be It's not a 2 way street. Basically so if you are dedicated to a mission but you're also selling that service for a price that you believe is worth it to you and makes it worth it to them. That's where you can have mission and financial goals kind of coincide I think.

43:32.39

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, you got it I mean I've been in the place where I invested reinvested all my money into the business and wasn't looking out for myself at all and and turned into a lot of sacrifice which just turned into ah an unsustainable way of living because. Moment The business didn't do well I wasn't doing well and it's hard to make good business decisions when you're experiencing financial scarcity and yeah, yeah, so.

44:02.85

Max Shank

And gambling they say you're on Tilt so you make bad choices I always take half my chips off the table before I move on to the next thing I never but but also I'm I'm limiting how much I could earn so.

44:10.44

mikebledsoe

So I That's a good idea.

44:18.66

mikebledsoe

Yeah.

44:22.33

Max Shank

It's just you got to figure out your appetite for risk and that's a whole that's a whole other thing.

44:25.44

mikebledsoe

Well 1 thing I noticed is when I started looking out in taking care of my own position better I made so much better decisions for the business or businesses if I'm comfortable I can make good decisions if I'm not then then I may make. You know something that makes more money in the month this month but doesn't set us up for success in 1 2 3 years

44:47.85

Max Shank

I Only ever wanted freedom from the time I was very young kid I didn't realize I also wanted love but I didn't really just I didn't see that path So I want love and freedom and money is really just a means to buy freedom.

45:04.39

mikebledsoe

Is.

45:06.97

Max Shank

And I think you you can have ah the most important thing is is fuck you money where you just have the freedom to say no to anything you have the freedom to say no to opportunities to requests to threats to. To whatever you're just like ah no and you don't even have to be ah like smarter once you get to that point you just it's like playing home run derby at that point. But there's no penalty for not taking a swing like you are just doing everything from that position of fuck you. So you don't have to um, be blinded by the lizard brain. You can really just let the wizard take charge there when you're in that fuck you money type of position now. There's another level which is fuck me money which is where you can like Torpedo. Yourself your street credibility. You can literally just say whatever you want, you can get excommunicated from society and then you'll like still be okay, um, and that's that's a whole other thing where people where people have so much. They're just like yeah I'll I'll totally destroy. Ah. Myself full on character assassination because I just don't care.

46:25.72

mikebledsoe

Who was it Um, the guy who did all the virus software. Ah, ah, the kaffy I think I think he experienced that fuck me. Ah I mean I mean he did end up in he then and end up in jail.

46:34.33

Max Shank

Mccaffy. Yeah yeah, guy was an animal that was a scary thing.

46:45.34

mikebledsoe

But ah as a very interesting and anyone wants to go look up his story I don't know where to look it up because I've I've been following it from many different perspectives. But ah yeah, he's 1 of those guys that made fuck me money was living abroad and was. Pulling all sorts of shenanigans and even after his death. It looks like he's pulled some shenanigans. There's been things are being released in the wake of his death. So It's a.

47:05.00

Max Shank

Ah.

47:12.45

Max Shank

Yeah, apparently he had like a lot of information that was very incriminating about certain things within the United states and the the powers that be.

47:16.99

mikebledsoe

Ah.

47:30.79

Max Shank

As they say yeah.

47:32.89

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, so yeah I like that. Well I think um, you know, maybe that should be that could be a course fuck you money is ah it's a.

47:42.89

Max Shank

Fuck you money I'm surprised. That's not already a thing because if you think about it. There is no other reason to get it like you people want security. Yeah, but freedom is the ability to say no, That's all. That's what freedom to me. That's how you could boil it down Freedom is the ability to say no because if you're addicted to something it means you're enslaved by it means you can't say no to it anymore whether it's a substance a person which is like a different type of codependency. Um, whatever. If You can't say no, you're enslaved and we're enslaved by all sorts of things and it's okay to be enslaved by you know I'm a slave to Oxygen and water and food. But I Really think the. Core of freedom is the ability to say no.

48:41.43

mikebledsoe

Yeah I think that's that's a spot on I mean there's.

48:46.55

Max Shank

We could call it. No thank you money if we wanted to have it be like a little bit kinder.

48:51.24

mikebledsoe

If we can if we if we want to run ads to it on facebook.

48:55.58

Max Shank

How to how to get? No thank you money.

48:59.74

mikebledsoe

Ah, doesn't have the right ring man I'm not sure that's going to stick. Yeah, that's ah, that's an important thing and ah that freedom is the ability to say no, it's that's that's an extremely powerful comment.

49:03.59

Max Shank

It's not the same as fuck you money.

49:18.91

mikebledsoe

That's because it's not just about money having enough money to say no to anybody. That's that's definitely a lot of Freedom. The the freedom to say no somebody you know is wanting to do something to you or asking you to do anything the ability to say no is freedom if if you're being. If you if that the ability to say no is is removed then yeah, you're a slave makes perfect sense. Yeah.

49:47.16

Max Shank

Substances and peep substances relationships too right? You know you get a you get a craving for the demon rum and you can't say no then you're not really free of it.

49:59.16

mikebledsoe

Yeah, well, this also makes me think about boundaries and and ah and you know the word sovereignty comes up and it used to be that the only sovereign beings that existed on the planet were royalty and so there was.

50:15.11

Max Shank

Center up.

50:18.20

mikebledsoe

There's a couple of you know there's a family that were all sovereign which meant the rules didn't really apply to them and then there was everybody else that that was underneath them like that like the Queen of england still doesn't follow doesn't the rules don't apply to her to even to this day. So. Ah.

50:37.16

Max Shank

Wouldn't it be amazing if she just started like a Jack the ripper like serial killing spree in England or something like that. She just went out and started murdering.

50:45.16

mikebledsoe

I think she's on her last leg I don't know if that's gonna be possible, but ah, the well the idea of like I mean that was the the idea of the founding in the United states was more of bringing sovereignty to the individual and. When I think about. So yeah, it's all about saying no.

51:05.18

Max Shank

It's all about saying no, it's all about resolving. It's all it's all about resolving conflict on an individual basis like the free speech is basically the right to say no firearms is basically the right to force the issue. No.

51:15.58

mikebledsoe

Um, yeah, yeah, and well I think about Sovereignty I think about royalty and 1 of the things that that kings and.

51:26.38

Max Shank

Even the third amendment even the third amendment is no. You troops can't stay at my fucking house. The fourth is no. You can't search my shit. The fifth is no I don't have to say a god damn thing like it's all about.

51:32.63

mikebledsoe

Right? right? yeah.

51:43.28

Max Shank

Freedom is all about no.

51:43.36

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right beautifully said so I think about Sovereignty I think about kings and queens and what do kings and queens have is they have a territory and they have boundaries and and those boundaries is.

51:56.79

Max Shank

M.

52:02.55

mikebledsoe

Are set and if you cross those boundaries you're going to suffer a consequence whether those boundaries be physical boundaries as in a physical wall around a kingdom or the boundaries of of we do this and we don't do though that you know if you break this rule if you pat cross this. Conceptual Boundary then you're going to experience some type of punishment and so ah I incur that I think a lot of people don't experience freedom or the degree of freedom that they could have simply because they don't know how to they don't even recognize their own boundaries. Ah, usually they don't recognize that their boundaries been crossed until after it's been crossed and it was crossed because they didn't know it was a boundary and so they never communicated it So It's it's your duty if you want to be free. It is your duty to. Communicate those boundaries in a way that people can hear them and then if they cross them after you tell them don't cross this boundary and that is impeding on your own on your shit then you know the use of force is is what may be necessary and is.

53:12.13

Max Shank

Where do you think we got the phrase draw a line in the sand That's literally drawing a boundary as an actual line that you are drawing.

53:16.89

mikebledsoe

Yeah, is there? Yeah yeah, you've crossed this line I'm gonna punch you in the throat. So.

53:29.14

Max Shank

And what you said there is key to because it's not just for physical. It's for energetic stuff too and I'm I'm sure I've talked about this a few times most of the stuff you hear me say that sounds. Really wise or something I've probably written down like a Hundred times. So. It's not like I'm just coming up with this stuff off the cuff be like oh wow that guys. no no I just write down a lot of stuff. Ah energy vampireism. You know where people are trying to get free psychic energy from you from. Unloading all their problems on you trying to get sympathy or complaining or whatever. Ah, just like the mythology of um, actual vampires. They cannot come inside your house unless you invite them in same thing with energy vampires. Unless you invite it in they can't get any of that free psychic energy from you I'm notoriously bad at listening to complaining because I don't tolerate it I draw a boundary to it because on the 1 hand. Yes. Every complaint is a request. But if you actually have a request then it's not complaining anymore. You're asking for help. You're asking for advice I'm 1 hundred percent down to get with that. But I'm not going to be the I'm not going to be the victim of.

54:59.19

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

54:59.44

Max Shank

Energy Vampurism and I think a lot of people don't draw those boundaries because they're afraid to they're afraid to just say stop. You know like I don't want you to keep talking at me like this because they're afraid like oh they won't like them anymore or whatever.

55:15.91

mikebledsoe

Yeah, a lot of people I've had to learn how to draw boundaries people don't complain to me either. Um I've had family members start to complain to me. Ah, and I remember a few years ago I got very. Strict around the boundaries around that and there' was a couple of my my family members had reached out or I was having dinner with somebody and I was like I'm just not gonna talk about this? Ah, ah, yeah, I'm not gonna sit here and listen to um, gossip and and they go. You know of course and like I'm not gossiping I'm like it's gossip and I'm not gonna I don't participate in it and ah it it was jarring for them. Especially if you start setting boundaries that you did not previously set.

56:08.61

Max Shank

That's gonna be a shock to the system. Whoa Whoa Whoa Man What changed I did I'm not sorry, but.

56:13.65

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, it's people will people have have cast you as a character in their movie and they expect that character to behave a certain way and when that character does something that's out of character it it ah causes a little. Little rift is it's like the glitch in the matrix. It's like they they start to see oh this is my movie just got fucking ah just jumped the frame I don't know what's going on and I feel threatened. You know a lot of people feel threatened by it because.

56:50.73

Max Shank

They're totally hooked expectation exactly they're hooked on predictability. It's like that quote the only reasonable man I ever met was my tailor because he took my measurements anew every time he saw me.

56:51.38

mikebledsoe

Their expectations aren't being met.

57:03.86

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah.

57:06.50

Max Shank

Versus everyone else. They just have their memory like oh Mike acts like this and then you're like hey I don't act like that anymore and I'm like oh my God My illusion is shattered like I don't because your brain is such a prediction machine.

57:08.91

mikebledsoe

And.

57:18.36

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, it makes me think about ah the time I saw I every once in a while I'll spend some time with my ah buddies from high school I'm in ah I'm in a text message thread. But with these guys and the lives that we're living are. Very different I won't I won't say they're as different as they as they could possibly be but they're incredibly different I've I've grown a lot in a different direction and sometimes I hang out with them and I can and they want to hang out and I go hang out with them and it's it's ah it's awkward. For them. Ah a lot of because I'm comfortable with me but they start treating me and talking to me about things that I used to care about or um, they they expected me to relate to them and in an agreement on things and then I don't agree. Ah. And I want to have ah a different com. You know I take the conversation in a surprising direction and I can just watch the discomfort seeping in it's like now that they they want to hang out but now they're looking forward to me leaving.

58:29.47

Max Shank

I mean it sounds an awful lot like Gossip mike um I'm sure that I'm sure that.

58:35.95

mikebledsoe

I bring it I bring it up I bring it up to like these are these are things to expect when you set new boundaries or when you experience growth and.

58:44.63

Max Shank

Um, well when the tribe says yes and you say no, they're gonna go huh and so that's it's just another layer of freedom am I Free to say what I want am I free to do what I want and people are actually.

58:50.60

mikebledsoe

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

59:04.56

Max Shank

Shockingly free we are we are part time enslaved because we got to work for the man ah percentage of the year but overall historically speaking we're like crazy free.

59:18.44

mikebledsoe

Yeah, more more free than than ever before. Yeah, and then there's the yeah, the the ability to choose your freedom is extremely high. The amount of people that even understand how to choose that. That's.

59:20.15

Max Shank

As free as you choose to be really.

59:37.56

mikebledsoe

Seems to be pretty low.

59:37.91

Max Shank

Well people enslave themselves with destructive behaviors way more than other people enslave them I mean I'm I don't I guess I'm not a hardcore libertarian I'm really more of an objectivist. I guess but I do believe in free choice being a better result than centralized control. Ah 99 percent of the time just because the risk reward's not good. Um, and where was I going with that saying that we're Better. Ah. Yeah, we are way more enslaved by our own choices within our own lives than we are by some external authority like we're slaves to food. We're slaves to media. We're slaves to a dopamine loop. Within our own mind. We're slaves to a cultural norm that probably sucks. It's like oh I've been conditioned to believe this is good. So now I'm going to sacrifice a lot. To get this result that I've been told is really good. Ah college student loans. Ah the concept of ah traditional marriage has positive and Negative. Um. It there. It just goes on and on and on and on and on and so it's tricky because drugs or addictions are a type of enslavement and it's where your choice gives you a result that you. Intellectually don't want but practically you can't avoid that whether it's um, scrolling Instagram or pornography or actual like heroin or crack or something like that. Never tried crack but I've heard It's really good people sacrifice a lot so they can keep doing crack ah food.

01:01:48.43

mikebledsoe

I've heard. It's really good too I told I had someone once tell me, you should try a crack sometime just don't know where to get it more of it. You want to make sure that you only have 1 dose because if you know where to get more than you're fucked.

01:02:02.63

Max Shank

Yeah, you and I are certainly not clever enough to find crack. Are you kidding me.

01:02:17.85

mikebledsoe

Ah.

01:02:17.93

Max Shank

I would have like a I would have like a boulder full of crack within 2 hours if it was like really the best thing ever a crack boulder but with food food and choice. That's why look I have this video. Ah. Does fasting solve everything and it's all about what we're talking about because food is the most interesting of all the drugs because it's the only thing you cannot completely abstain from like you cannot quit cold Turkey Cold Turkey It is impossible to have.

01:02:48.90

mikebledsoe

Well.

01:02:56.49

Max Shank

No food whatsoever. So you're always having some food imagine if you were like trying to quit heroin but you had to have like 1 hit a day just to survive that would be insane. So.

01:03:09.54

mikebledsoe

I Think that's how it works after you get addicted. You can't go cold turkey with it. You have physical withdraws. Yeah yeah.

01:03:15.98

Max Shank

Ah, heroin you mean I mean you can. It's just painful but like you could quit heroin cold turkey and never do it Again. Same thing with opiates same thing with ah like booze and stuff like that I mean it depends how far I'm not a doctor. So. If You're currently a heroin addict and looking for my medical advice then I would say look elsewhere. But.

01:03:37.30

mikebledsoe

I Think there are other things you can do to win yourself off other than just stopping I think that's there's a safer.

01:03:42.44

Max Shank

Yeah, oh totally. But it's possible to stop doing heroin completely once and for all like once you get to zero but you can't do that with food and that's why I have this video called does fasting solve everything because.

01:03:50.26

mikebledsoe

Yeah, right.

01:04:01.14

Max Shank

It's the core of hunger and it's the core of decision making and as I mentioned Hunger is synonymous with desire.. It's synonymous with pain right? So if you can get that choice under control I think it. Gives you the foundation to get all your other choices under control because it changes your relationship with hunger with pain with desire with motivation.

01:04:32.76

mikebledsoe

Got it makes perfect sense. Go watch that video folks where is that video ton you? What do people search for does.

01:04:43.98

Max Shank

It's on Youtube does fasting solve everything. It's on my youtube channel.

01:04:51.17

mikebledsoe

This fasting solve everything anything else. You want to mention before we go.

01:04:54.64

Max Shank

Um. I Mean we talked about a lot of stuff I I think I think we kept it pretty close to choices. Um, what are some of the big important things that we talked about we talked about.

01:05:01.60

mikebledsoe

We did. There was a broad subject day.

01:05:18.87

Max Shank

Ah, the difference between a good choice and a good outcome. We talked about the difference between deployment which is what you choose and when you choose it versus execution which is how you do it. We talked about offense and defense. We talked about being in.

01:05:33.25

mikebledsoe

Offense and defense.

01:05:38.50

Max Shank

Lizard Brain versus the Wizard Brain. We talked about how compassion is best found when you understand that everyone's doing the best they can based on how they think and feel at the time including yourself so you can forgive and accept yourself including all of your past decisions that. Retroactively you might label as mistakes I Just think ah.

01:05:59.40

mikebledsoe

Yeah, we call ah and and the courses I teach I call that honoring self and honoring other honor yourself and and give yourself some grace and give yourself what you need in the moment so that you can show up the best you can possibly be honoring other is ah.

01:06:05.77

Max Shank

Oh that's nice.

01:06:19.90

mikebledsoe

Not assuming that you know what's actually happening in their experience and and and understanding they are doing. You know that they're probably doing their best and so you've got to give them the benefit of a doubt and when that happens it opens up communication to find out. Ah, to get to get more accuracy about what is their experience and usually once that door opens the understanding is a lot easier to come by.

01:06:47.64

Max Shank

Man That's good. It kind of reminds me of something else which is wisdom is knowing yourself and acting accordingly and arrogance is thinking. You know what's best for other people.

01:07:01.74

mikebledsoe

Simple, very simple. Ah and I like that like that a lot anything else I'm feeling I'm feeling complete this is ah.

01:07:04.10

Max Shank

Simple.

01:07:12.52

Max Shank

This was a lot of fun I'm feeling complete you complete me. Ah.

01:07:21.45

mikebledsoe

Ah, ah, feeling complete. Yeah, we didn't have a we didn't have like a target to hit at the end of the show so going going off a feeling here.

01:07:28.19

Max Shank

I I What are you talking about? what are you talking about? we spent an hour. We hit so many valuable points for how to make better choices. Are you kidding me.

01:07:36.19

mikebledsoe

I agree I agree but I usually have in my head this this final target. We're gonna land on. He's like where well it's we.

01:07:44.43

Max Shank

What do you want me to say what do you want me to say.

01:07:49.28

mikebledsoe

We didn't plan it so there's no way to know it's that's I'm saying I have to go off a feeling at this point, there's no predetermined target.

01:07:54.73

Max Shank

Um, I don't even I don't even know how we would come up with a target for the choice making podcast.

01:08:03.26

mikebledsoe

I Know that's that's that's why we're here we we have to just choose in the moment.

01:08:08.82

Max Shank

All right? Well you got so I'm I'm really noticing our mistake in our pre-show planning here so in order for you to feel fulfilled in order for me to satisfy you I need to know what you hope to achieve at the end of each podcast. So next week be sure to let me know exactly what you would like me to do for you by the end.

01:08:29.35

mikebledsoe

Ah, he ah perfect.

01:08:35.10

Max Shank

Um, ah ah you can find me at mashank dot com. How can they find you.

01:08:39.39

mikebledsoe

All right? Where yeah we're besides that Youtube video where can people find you.

01:08:48.60

mikebledsoe

Ah, on Instagram mike underscore bletzo and a reminder that I have the strong coach summit coming up in March the strongcoach dot com slash summit will get you more information.

01:09:01.58

Max Shank

Boom. Thank you guys for listening. Love you. Mikey.

01:09:05.42

mikebledsoe

Let me max.