23. Whatever Will Be Will Be, A Professional Doula In The Room With Us - Keisha Graham

The Mother's Embrace

I think we need doulas for living life. I think it would actually aid in the living process! You might feel the same way after listening to today’s show. I love this conversation so much. In this episode, I am gathering with Keisha Graham for our first doula episode. I have had the honor of experiencing doulas in my births as rooted in wisdom, joy, and presence. They are such a gift.

Keisha witnesses families in their most vulnerable, and her voice will take you on a journey today whether you are simply wanting to learn more about the work of doulas, you could use a soothing compassionate voice, you are working through fears of your own birth, or you are wanting to learn how to be supportive in the birth process. Together, we discuss the discrepancies the African American community faces with mothers and infants in the United States. Presently there is a very high infant mortality rate, and Black babies are in the gravest of danger. Black women experience a mortality rate 2-3x higher than that of white women, and you will hear how Keisha's birth 13-years ago plays a part in the pivotal work she does today.

In 2021, Keisha assisted 35 families with childbirth and witnessed 31 births. She is a doula in Richmond, Virginia. I've known this wonderful woman since 2017 when I was becoming a mom. Today we talk to her about why she does what she does. We discuss how her work has influenced her everyday life. We also get to know her behind-the-scenes experiences her thoughts on a mother’s loss of a child during childbirth. As we dive in, we explore the role doulas play in relieving nurses and removing fear from birthing moms and families among other fascinating topics. She is here with us today!

Let’s jump in! In this Episode You’ll Learn:

• [2:25] Who a doula is
• [6:08] A little bit about Keisha Graham
• [7:30] How Keisha got started as a doula
• [10:45] How Keisha's birth experiences and moments have influenced her
• [12:40] How Keisha manages to hold her space
• [14:40] Whether doulas are more present or heart-centered in everyday life?
• [15:49] Keisha's definition of the clients she serves
• [18:03] Keisha's behind-the-scenes experiences
• [20:56] The role of the doula in relieving the nurses and the importance of a supportive birth team
• [22:38] Keisha's thoughts and assumptions about why she became a doula rather than a midwife
• [25:11] Keisha's tool for supporting and removing fear from birthing moms and families.
• [28:28] Keisha's doula journey is full of surprises get to know more.
• [30:01] What is the right time for a birthing mother to hire a doula?
• [32:22] Keisha's thoughts on a mother's loss of a child during childbirth and birth care gaps
• [35:41] Keisha's advice to all expecting mothers
• [38:27] Theme song for Keisha
• [39:09] Keisha's need for a hug

Quotes:

• “I hear that a lot after birth. And people always are like, you don't get paid enough. But it's just the joy of being there to witness families at their most vulnerable, that's the most rewarding to me.” [7:36]
• “So, you know, when you when I think about birth, Keisha, you know, it's, I love how you said, it's like the most vulnerable time for a family. [10:47]
• “I think people feel comfortable when they have all of the information and all of the facts and they know that it's okay to question their doctors or their providers or the people in the room and even their selves, they can question themselves out loud, and without judgment or fear.” [12:40]
• “I don't witness a lot of harm, because I am a professional in the room to reduce harm.” [18:03]
• “All births are different. And the differences of each birth are what makes it so special.” [24:00]

Links:

Connect with Keisha Graham:

Instagram: @Keishadoeswork

Facebook: @KeishaDoesWork

Follow Rachel on Instagram: @rachelcamfield

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @themothers.embrace

Rachel's Website: https://www.rachelcamfield.com/

Rachel’s Links: https://www.rachelcamfield.com/welcome

Share Your Story: https://bit.ly/tmeshare

For Educators: https://bit.ly/tmeforeducators

Ask a Question on the podcast: https://forms.gle/PN4d6LVqPGgMfzhM8

Course: Better Boundaries

Resources:

DONA International Doula Directory

Bailey Henry Having a Baby and Other Things I'm Bad At