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S2E15 Gossip, good or bad-Part 1
Manage episode 374953918 series 3324473
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There are 3 types of people: People who talk about people, people who talk about the news and people who talk about ideas.
You can't consume gossip without bias and the presumption of your own experience.
First and foremost important is to find out why one gossips:
Is it to help/inform you about the absent person,
Is it out of jealousy and want to ruin them,
Is he/she simply venting and may not mean everything they say.
Is it for the sake of entertainment and wanting to connect with you by talking about the absentee.
Is it because we are focused on others, not ourselves. Seeing others' drama to forget our own drama. Feeling better about ourselves by seeing others broken
Or simply they like Chios and drama.
If we are not open to accepting feedback may contribute to becoming a gossip victim and if we do not feel comfortable to express ourselves directly may force us into becoming a gossiper. Since after all at times we can't keep everything to ourselves and need to vent.
Can you imagine if you speak our thoughts? That would be a disaster. At times we share some of them with a few others, venting. This is why as a listener we may have to simply listen to the gossip and leave it there. They may just need a listening ear.
How to stop the gossiper:
Tell the gossiper that I'm gonna tell the absentee what you told me
Tell them to talk to the absentee instead of talking about them
Say something good about the absentee and ask the gossiper to do the same
Ask for facts and details. This doesn't stop the gossip but helps to be more realistic and factual versus allowing the gossiper to talk about their understanding/version of the facts
Help them to talk about something else.
If the gossiper has some valid concerns about the absentee, let's focus on solving the problem versus just venting. Eg how can you help the absentee to change and adopt a better behavior. Addressing the behavior of the absentee and not just talking and complaining about the absentee with no solution is mind.
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